Friends on AFF does not equal friends in real life

I don't know if I am the only who received messages like this but they something like "Let's be friends! Please accept my friend-request" and something along that line.

First of all - and this is more personal now - I don't accept friend-requests and if I do, it is my personal choice.

 

Secondly, sometimes I get the feeling that people here think that being friends here on AFF equals being friends in real life.

I does not, guys.

Sure, having "friends" here on AFF helps out and they listen to you when you have problems but in the end they are not your real friends.

Some of your so-called friends here, you probably never have seen before and you call them friend.

There is a reason why I am so hesistant about this whole friend thing here on AFF and on the internet in general because most of those friendships are not real friendships to me.

From all my AFF "friends" I only count three people as real friends, because we met before in real life and talked in real life as well.

 

I know it is not easy to make friends in real life for various reasons but internet friends don't replace real life friends (I repeat myself, I know).

 

So please, if you write someone "I want to be your friend", think twice about it first. Sure, there are many people who are like "Oh, no problem, let's be friends" but there are also people like me who think "No, you are not my friend and you probably never will be." (Sorry, not sorry. This is the truth.)

I make a clear line between my real friends and the "AFF friends" because once gone from this side, I probably won't be in contact with the most anyways.

 

(sorry if this all a bit confusing. I am hella tired and just came back from work >.>)

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weird_fellaf #1
Well... It's understandable for me, now... And sorry, if i annoy you with my friend request, really... >v<

I want to apologize for all my doings that annoys you, Author-nim... >o<
missbluz #2
It's hard enough to trust people you see and interact with everyday. Being a real friend with all of what that word means with someone a cross a computer screen in god know where is not reality.
PurpleEvilEyes #3
ahhh I respect your decision and I understand what you mean. Friends online doesnt feel real enough to reassure that they will be there for you or are really there idk if you get what I mean but as long as you are happy with your decision I'd respect iit :-)
jj_205 #4
What you said is understandable because you don't really know who that person really is in AFF. They might just be those s or pedos who are searching for preys online; we never know.

But, some people just want to have friends who they never met physically, it gives a little spice to the friendship. I know how it feels like because I made a friend through online before and we end up meeting anyways. For some, people in their lives are not exactly the 'kind' people and seeing that people online are better, they just want to be friends with them, to finally have someone by your side. Of course some people might be backstabbers or might leave you behind, I know how this feels too, but it's best if you get over it and give someone else a chance. The past is in the past, never let it affect you much. Don't remember how it felt or what happened; just remember the morals they carry.

LOL, okay, I don't know what I just wrote but overall, what I'm saying is that its not that bad too have friends who you don't really know. You just have too be careful with what you say, what information you give away. Because you never know if you'll become great friends in the future PHYSICALLY.
ada5842 #5
The reasons people say "lets be friends" cause that is the term used by AFF - friends. Nowdays with all the technology available how do you define a friend? Must a friend be physically near you then only the person can be your friend? What about if you get to know somebody across the world. You may never meet the person. But you stay in contact with each other,previously with letters but nowdays theres facebook, twitter, smart phones, skype etc etc. Doesn't that person count as a friend...a long distance friend? I don't know...

Sorry for ranting about friends here on your blog. One of my best friend resigned and today was her last day. And actually, in my goodbye card to her, I did mentioned that it may be difficult to stay as friends physically (cause we will be busy with work and our family) but we will still be best friends virtually. Going to really miss her.

Anyway, nowdays you still have to be careful who you call friends....but don't totally ignore everyone. Like MhiRha said below, there might be someone who are really sincere wanting to be your friend.
MhiRha #6
Don't worry, it's okay. What you said makes sense so it is understandable. I'm pretty selective when it comes to friendship too. I have been betrayed, left behind, and been forgotten too many times so I am pretty strict in labeling people as my "friend". But still, there people you met on the internet that can be a great friend to you even in real life without you knowing. I'm not saying that I am one of those people or me trying to change your view on this. There really might be someone who would really like to be your friend for real.
Arem2013 #7
There is one information that we, internet users must know, virtual life is different from our real life, and as so virtual friends.
heemander #8
Dont worry. You make sense and i can see where you are coming from. Hopefully othersbreading this dont get offended.
Kim-In-A #9
I actually never thought that when people say "Let's be friends" they mean the real meaning of 'friends' , cuz in my personal opinion ; it is pretty obvious that they don't mean 'friends' when they say 'friends'... cuz come on they're online? hello?
I always considered it like they want to act friendly or simply speak like they know you , but if they mean being real friends , that would be madness.. They better go cure themselves.
(I never knew that maybe some people can be bothered by that xD ... It's adorable loool <sorry i'm always creepy :p>)
GoldenAngelFeather #10
well what you say is true, a lot of the 'friends' i have here on AFF of course don't get to be in the category if real friends, cause even then, in reality, friends (good and real ones) are difficult to find, but I do see a few (not even more than 3 i think?) as penpals
someone you can talk to that you don't know, but still know enough of to chat with :P
aside from that, nothing more to say i think :P
toukens #11
"No, you are not my friend and you probably never will be." Absolutely same.
When I get messages with "Let's be friends!" (and I do get them quite often) I'm like... ok, and why do you want to be friends with me? Do you know anything else than my username and the fics I write? Do you want a friend like me? It makes me question their intentions why they want to be friends with me so badly. Most of the time, I know by the first few words whether we'd click or not, whether it'll become a plain conversation or a pretty enyoable one, but without the result of becoming friends.
For me, I need to feel whether we "click" or not, because truth to be told, I can't be friends with people who are 284782394 years younger than me (which is pretty much the majority of aff) or people who don't think or are similar to me in their characters.
And I feel really really awkward when I see people declaring me as their friend when we've only talked once before and when I don't know anything more than their names???
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