When you actually want the tears to fall and they don't want to come because you're happy. The tears simply to release when feeling is built up to bursting point. I don't know why I am writing this actually... I just need a moment to release? Vent? I'm not sure what emotion exactly. lol This is the part where I think I'm crazy. 

I guess I was just thinking too much before I fell asleep this evening and the thinking sort of continued in the dream... I hate to be petty but I am allowing myself this. Life is unfair. Usually, I brush that off but sometimes it can stab at the little part of vulnerability. 

Also, fear. Ask not what I am afraid of but there is a knawing, building fear inside of me that grips me at my alone moments. I feel as though something will burst in flames and crumble around me soon enough and it will be up to me to pick up the pieces or drown in rubble. But I also think this fear is not primary... I think it is for someone. 

I guess that's me for the night.