I have this little issue in my mind and heart since she comeback to my life.

We have been together almost two years and it have been the most beautiful, hurtfull, happiest, funniest and difficult years, we share a beautiful love, something that not so many couples have, we care each other, we fight but five minutes later we have running noses and saying: I'm sorry, we have come through a hard and difficult times, we haveseen the best and the worst, we have fight a lot of battles and after all we are still together,side by side. The base of our relationship is trust and honest talks, we talk about things we don't like or is bothering, it's hard because I don't speak my mind most of the time but with her I feel comfortable and the honesty I have with her is amazing.

The most important thing for me is her happiness, whereever it is I just want to see her happy. I mean she is happy with me but she has dreams we both have and her dreams sometimes are faraway from me.

The last year when she told me that she was thinking to go to Brazil on her vacation, I was like: "! why do you have to leave in my favorite month (December)?",obviously we talked about it but she has the desire to go there,she ended up in Canada but I supported her every step in the way, when she called me she bought the air-plane tickets it was a slap in my face and when she called and said: "Babe I got the visa" I  died, I was working and I told her: " I told you, I'm so happy babe"and then ran to the toilet and I cried. That was the most hurtfull month, I remember I was lifeless, I used to sleep all night and all day so I didn't have to wait for the hours, I was a ty hell, I cried  twice by week but I was happy for her I knitted her a scarf of her favorite color, she used to say that I wasn't happy for her but I hugged her and kissed her forehead and said: I'm happy it doesn't means that it won't hurt or that I won't cry". 

Now that she's back our bond got stronger than before and she's planning to study her Master degree in France, she is choosing the college she would like to go and doing all the papers, It has started again and sometimes it feels like she running out of my hand. We won't break up but we try to keep our relationship as far as we can do it, we trust a lot each other and we promised that if we ever start to feel something for someone we should talk before we get hurt. But this hurts like hell because it won't be a month it is two ing years!, two ing years that I don't know how to face the only thing I know is to support her and finish my career but I don't know how to embrace this I love her too much to leave her I want to stay until the end and I will, but I need a advice or a shoulder to cry on because I can't with this on my own....

and whoever you are, thanks to take the time to read my heart