First let me start off by saying sorry for my previous two posts. They were really depressing and made me look a bit suicidal, which was, in a sense, true ... but I'm doing better! I don't know how long this streak will last, though. I know that that thought is a bit depressing, but it's true. I have these high moments when I'm doing pretty well, but then I go back to how things were in my two previous posts. It's inevitable, but I'm trying to make this high last as long as I can. Wish me luck :) Secondly, I wanted to say sorry about me not posting an update on my story. I find it hard to write depressing things when I am actually pretty happy. And besides, if I did try to write while being happy, I would only make myself depressed ... so, that's not going to happen! Sorry, but it's not. I hope you all wil understand and be a bit patient .

Anyway, the past few days I've been thinking a lot about things: my future, life in general, and so many other things. You know how I complained about how my interests always change? Well, I also complained to my mom ^^ like how I do with everything that is bothering me. I guess she helped me realize that it's completely normal for someone my age to go through this "phase" of uncertainty, changing of interests, mood swings, and etcetera. I mean, I knew that, but it didn't really click until a few days ago. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's annoying as hell to go from one subject (say Kpop) and spend a toooonnnn of money on it ... and then suddenly have no interest in it and move on. It's annoying! But it helps me stay in the present.

Living in the present is something that I've been thinking about a lot, too. I'm always thinking about my future (and I know many of you are as well), which can be bad and good. I realized you have to have a plan for the future. Some kind of plan, even if it or is vague. You need one to get started with things. But plans change ... all the freaking time, which I hate to be honest, but it's true. Things come up, unexpectedly, that can change your plan. You can't predict or plan out exactly how your future is going to be because it will never work. Ever! And once you have a semi-plan set, you can start working towards it while enjoying the present. At least, that's what I think. Nothing will ever be set or permanent because nothing stays the same forever. The earth is ever-changing and so are our lives. I just think that if I can't predict the future, why worry about it? I mean, I will, at some lever, worry about my future. But obsession over it won't help me ... at all! So why not live in the present? Ah, but the real question is why not?! There was a quote I found about having lived a life without regrets that I saw a while ago, but didn't really think about because I already have regrets. But I got to thinking ... I have made mistakes, some that will stick with me for the rest of my life, but the mistakes I've made have helped me grow and learn. So yes, I have made mistakes, but no, I don't have any regrets that should keep me from moving forward. Which is the common quote of "live life to its fullest" is going to be in the back of my mind from now on! Well, I hope so anyway.

How's that for an uplifting blog?! I was going to it Wednesday, on my 18th bday, but then I got side-tracked and totally forgot about it yesterday until ... 11 pm when I was about to go to sleep :) For my bday present, I'm getting a tattoo!! So excited. I'm going to put it on my upper left arm (I think). Nothing big or anything. Small, but meaningful is what I'm going for. Anyone watch teen wolf? No? Yes? Well, I just got into it (my new obseesion! I totaly ship sterek!) and I got my idea from derek's tattoo on his back. It's called a Triskelion. No, I'm not getting it just because I like the show. I looked up the meaning and ... well, I fell in love with the meaning - plus it looks really cool. Here's the meaning and pic:

Meaning from what's-you-sign.com:

In a nutshell, the triskelion Celtic symbol meaning deals with competition and man's progress. All three branches are positioned in such a way so as to make the symbol appear as if it is in constant forward motion, which represents action, cycles, progress, revolution, competition, and moving forward.

However, the three protrusions are of significant symbolic importance, which changes with religion, culture, and so on. A few meanings include Power, Intellect, Love; Past, Present, Future; and Creation, Preservation, Destruction.

An intersting side-note is the number 3 is a powerful energy for seemingly infinite reasons. One such representation deals with primary measure-marks of the moon (new, half, full). So, some lunar symbolism include mystery, femine,intuition, subtlenes, subconsciousness, hidden desire, and illumination.

So, in summary, the triskelion's symbolic meaning is:

1. Personal growth.

2. Human development

3. Spiritual expansion

Awesome, right? And I did, almost vibatum, say what the site said! None of those words are mine :)

Anyway, that's my tattoo I'm going to get! So excited! And this is where I'm going to end this horribly long blog! But before I do :) I want to say thank you to everyone who respnded to my previous posts and talked to me about things. You have no idea how much I appreciate it and love every one of you! *huggies*

XoXo

Jess