Hi guys! How have you all been? I haven't checked in with my friends on here in a long time (did any of you change your names??)! 

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written on here. So much has happened since I've "left" and I don't even know where to start.  

I guess I should start with the fact that I might come back to writing? It's a maybe ... I'll get into that in a moment lol 😂 I don't want to get too depressing at the beginning of this! 

But seriously, how are you guys?! I haven't kept up with any of what has happened (I'm sorry!) and I would really love to know what's going with your guys' writing, lives, and other stuff you want to share. It's so sad that I don't remember a lot of went on here :( But I want to catch up! 

Im not sure if you guys want to know what happened with me or not, but if you do, continue and read :) if not, totally cool! I don't mind! 

Okay, so I graduated, yeah? Like three years ago (omg has it been that long?). I got a few jobs -- don't even get me started. I didn't know what to do with my life, career-wise, so I just worked and stuff for a while. Family stuff happened - turns out my dad is an who cheated on my mom the whole marriage. Apparently he's a covert narcissist ... Anyway, for first year or two, I just worked and got a used car (I spent more in repairs than the actual car is worth wtf) and tried but failed to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Tried therapy again, that went horribly. So I stopped again. And then last year in February, my sister decided she wanted to move out and so did I. We moved out within a day of each other. I moved to Wisconsin, but I couldn't find a job because of my anxiety and other issues. The one job I did get only lasted two weeks .. they were supposed to train me but didn't. And I kind of freaked out for some reason about the job, so I quit. A few months later I moved back home. Yay me ...  not a functional adult lol 😂

Then this year in February my dad went nuts and my mom kicked him out and that whole thing was insane and now he visits my little sister who is six because she needs him to ... but he's still trying to get back with my mom and it's all a show to be honest. Anyway, I started doing therapy online ... which is okay? It hasn't really helped that much, my current therapist (I've switched three times already because they all a bit) is all about "balance" and ... I'm not sure if I like her. I mean, she's helped a bit, but she's ... idk. She's all about changing negative thoughts and stuff, but nothing really action oriented and Ishe hasn't really helped me with finding what I want to do with my life. But yeah ... that's my last three years in a nut shell! Nothing actually happened with me and that's kinda depressing because my friend is doing a ton of stuff with her life and I'm just O.o with mine. Anyway!

And recently I've started getting back into Kpop? I'm scared it won't last long, but I'm really excited about BTS and their comeback. Is there such a thing as a bias with them? Mine used to be Jungkook ... but then I found Agust D and I can't get over it?! So Suga is now my bias, but I love Jimin too? And we'll, they all are awesome, but Suga has my heart right now (maybe because his mixtape talked about his issues and I'm clinging to that??? Omg I'm psychoanalyzing myself ha!).

So yeah. :) oh! Right, i might get back into writing? It's ... I've always kind of liked writing, but I could never -- and still can't very well -- come up with original ideas. That's always been the reason I never did anything with my writing. I never could come up with ideas or if I did have one --very rare -- I couldn't put it into writing. And that's always stopped me ... and I still feel that way and I depresses me. But recently I've started to check in on this site and saw that you guys left comments on my stories. And they all have been very nice and you have liked my writing. And it felt good to have you guys lie my stories. A bit ago, I tried writing on Ao3, but I couldn't finish the story I started, so I just deleted it (it was one direction related). And I don't want that to happen again ... so if I do write again, I might do small pieces?I don't know. Could you guys give me any advice on this? I would really appreciate anything you guys have to say.  

Wow, okay, that was a lot. I meant for this to be a "Hi! I might be back!" thing, but it turned out to be a bit depressing (shocking, I know). Sorry about that! 

Soo... hi :) I might be back :) How are you guys? 

All the love Xx 

Jess