Usually, when I write these blog posts, I have something specific to talk about, but right now, I really just kind of feel like writing about anything.

Lately, there's been a person I've met that I find really interesting, and I would really like to get to know more about them, but they're a little hard to talk to because the conversation is mostly one-sided and they won't open up to me – granted, I haven't known them for very long, but I'm a pretty impatient person. I want to keep pursuing conversation with them, but I feel like maybe I'm being too pushy or something, which is pathetic of me because worrying about those sorts of things is really stupid. If I want to talk to someone, I talk to them.

If I weren't so damn insecure all of the time, it really wouldn't be much of an issue.

I think what I really want with this person is for them to come to me with conversation about their life instead of the other way around. Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon, but how can I get to know them if they aren't willing to give something other than monosyllabic answers?

Creepy me, I want to know everything about them. I'm doing that disgusting thing again. I'm sorry.

When I think about it, I feel like I ed up early on in our interactions by saying some kind of ty stuff more freely than I was allowed. I know that if someone would have said those things to me, I would have flipped my . I didn't think about being careful with them at the time because I still don't know how sensitive they are, but I'm like that with everyone; honest, pretty blunt, and I don't like beating around the bush.

I didn't realize that they seemed to close up to me after I said those things. I shouldn't say it hurts because we're not on personal terms, but they're not a complete stranger either, and are someone I hope to get closer to in the future.

If they are reading this, I would just like to say sorry for being a ty person.
I hope you can still like me in the future.

Meanwhile, I've started working on another story and its first chapter is already done. It feels short, but I think that's good because I'm always making things longer and more convoluted than they need to be and people lose interest more quickly. My writing's never been that great to begin with, but I hope this will be something of an improvement.

As for the first story I started writing, it's still there, I just . . . don't exactly know what I'm doing with it. I've been meaning to look for someone to make me a poster for the story, even though I was once tempted to make it myself, I don't trust my work compared to some of the others I've seen on AFF. I feel so inferior about every little thing in that area, it burns.

There were other things I wanted to say, but I can't bring myself to care about anything suddenly.

I feel sick.