Hello!

I told you about my crush. I’m still not confessing to him and all. I’m just really scared and I’m not the type of girl who shows what she feels. I just want to share what happened between him and me this week.

1.

I told you that we’re both choir members. So at the second last practice, my friends and I are inside the school’s clinic. Well, my crush, let’s call him Lee was with his friend, Hee and they were inside the clinic too.

The clinic is also the student’s hangout place whenever they want too. (Our guidance counsellor lets us to stay there whenever we want to.) So we were lying on the bed taking pictures and laughing about crazy things. My crush was trying to sleep but his batchmates were annoying him to make some choreography for our song.

“Let Cheleth do it…” He pointed at me. “No. I don’t choreograph choral songs you know.” I answered. His batchmate just shrugged and did it herself. Hee was tickling Lee. My crush was really ticklish so he moved everywhere making everyone laugh including me. After some time, Hee stopped and Lee (OHMYFORGINGGOODNESS) puts his head on my lap. (I WAS BLUSHING MADLY. FORK) I removed his head and he just lie back down on the bed again.

All of my friends lie down too and everyone was in a weird position. So I did lie down too and BESIDE MY CRUSH ASFHGJLJSKFEWIGB. My heart was beating madly. It wanted to jump in joy right there! I felt that he’s hot (LITERALLY OKAY? HAHAAHA I’M NOT A ) even he’s wearing a jogging pants.

“Lee, you’re temperature is hot” I told him. He felt his neck and he nodded. “Yes.” He answered.

And then I was laughing with him and all. But his back is facing me and his eyes are closed while I’m facing upward. Our friends are doing random things. Then he was hitting my stomach (because it’s pinchy and bouncy but I’m not fat -.- I just have stomach fats. Okay wut? HAHA) and then I told him. “STOP IT. I KNOW I’M FAT.” Then he turned around and OMYFORGINGEXTRASANE. HE HUGGED ME. It was not wrapping his arms on my waist like that. But he went on top of me and he covered all of my body. No not in a y way. I didn’t move. My face was in front of his cheek and he was like hugging a forking pillow. And then when he noticed that I’m not moving so he removed himself from me and continued to sleep beside me.

2.

During our Parolan Festival (It’s the time where we’ll sing our song):

I sat on the long chair with my friend who also witnessed my crush hugging me. We were talking about some random things and Kpop. Then suddenly, my crush walked out from nowhere and sat in front of me. Then he told me he was nervous and he also said that we’re going to perform second from the first contestants. I wasn’t nervous or anything because stage is my thing. (Ever since childhood bishes). I didn’t talk to him because I really don’t want to show him that I like him. I was pointing at the cute kids who were having an intermission and Lee can’t see anything because he was facing me and his back is facing the stage. He asked me to join him but I don’t want to miss the cute kids performing.

My friend moved a little to make space for my crush and so he sat beside me. (Gawd I am so lucky). We were talking at some moment then we will be quiet again. Before some other performance, the mayor spoke and fireworks flashed on the sky. (IS THIS SWEET OR WHAT?) but after some time, he walked to his friends and I felt alone. Hahahhaha! Good thing my friends are there too!

So the festival goes on and after we sang our Christmas carol, it’s time to go home. (There were fireworks at the ending again but I didn’t watch it with him this time T_T) I walked to our van and was surprised when he was there! We were on different vans whenever we go to school. I took the chance and sat beside him. My ex was in front of us and I became sad. I didn’t talk for some moments and then he took my bag and put it on his lap then he told me he might be attacked by his asthma because the van smelled like smoke. I looked at him with concern but didn’t talk because I was too weak and I felt vulnerable whenever my ex is there.

--

Okay I’m still confused. I don’t know what he feels about me. And I sure don’t want to ask him because I told you that I don’t want to get hurt anymore. My friend told me that during my crush’s overnight at their house, someone told Lee that I have a crush on him. I didn’t get angry because I know that at a point he’ll know. But he didn’t ignore me like how other boys do! And he still chat me first. My friend told me that they were telling him that it’ll be a waste if Lee will just ignore me. (They told him that they have a crush on me and wished that they were on his place. Like whuuut? Whatever haha) But he didn’t say anything. (I think he still likes Vee unnie T_T). But what do you guys think?

Sorry for the long blog TT_TT 

YEP and I finally got my orders.