I'm surprised that title actually fit, tbh. I thought it'd be too long.

I'm procrastinating and can't sleep so here's ten things you couldn't care less about~

1. On Twitter, I follow three-four ugly people problems blogs. I relate to 90% of the tweets. Self-esteem? Don't have any. I'm extremely self-conscious and a small dig at me will affect me for weeks.

2. I cannot lie. Seriously, I try and try but can't do it. It's not even that I can't lie convincingly, but I just feel so bad that I have to finish the rest of the sentence under my breath or twist my words or have a different meaning to them. E.g "No, I don't have any money on me right now, I can't go shopping." Warped meaning - "I don't have any money in my hand right now." It's awful, I know. But I cannot lie.

3. About 1% of AFF's population would be able to understand me irl. I say phrases such as "Would you get out of that!", "Ah, would you g'luck (good luck)" and to mix them together - "Ah, would you g'luck out of that!" Sometimes, I have to reread my comments and check if the way I word things makes sense. It's beyond annoying for me. Btw, anyone understand that? Besides, I speak too quickly and with an accent.
I can say: "With the eye on the flea and the flea on the feather, and the feather on the wing, and the wing on the chick, and the chick in the egg, and the egg in the nest, and the nest on the branch, and the branch on the limb, and the limb on the tree, and the tree in the hole, and the hole in the bog and the bog down in the valley o'-" in one breath (easily, actually). I think I got all of it down in words. And no, most of it makes no sense. I think it's because I can talk while breathing in? Idk tbh

4. I am a holiday - never been kissed under the mistletoe, never been kissed on New Year's, never had a valentine's date/present .... #foreveralonewithmyopparsandcats

5. I have been learning a language for nearly twelve-thirteen years (I think) and am still not fluent.

6. I dislike confrontation and arguements. I am a nice person - not a good or bad person, a nice one. I have a strong sense of right and wrong and always try to do the right thing, however, in a situation where there was a stranger being bullied, I don't know if I could say something. I like to think I would, but I don't know.

7. When I was younger, I wanted to get hip and shoulder surgery. Idk if that's a thing, but I hate my hips and shoulders. They're too broad.

8. I can't curse in people older than me/people I'm not comfortable with. I just can't. To my close friends, I will curse every few sentences, but I cannot curse in front of those I am not comfortable with. I can't curse in front of my dad either. Not that he'd get mad, I just can't. He couldn't care if I curse.

9. Whenever I do something idiotic or bad, I say: "Ah, ya-" but to this day, I never know the rest of what I'm going to say. I always stop there. I'm not even sure if it's "ya" or the ya form of you. Whenever I hurt myself, even if it doesn't hurt, I say "ow". It's a reflex. It's always very monotone, too. I once dropped my books on the locker room floor and said "ow". My books and I have a strong emotional bond 3

10. I cannot say "I feel sorry for X". I have to say "I feel bad for X." I have this weird mindset of "I don't have the right to feel sorry for anyone" but to me, bad has a different context. Does that make sense? You empathise and/or sympathise, but you don't pity them.

I would put "I'm weird" on here, but that's already obvious, so....

Btw, there's this sleep music on YT that gets you to sleep really quickly and I've been using it and it works. I'm gunna hit the hay because it's 3:30am here~