So yeah i havent been writing at all in the past few days but i dont know why but all of a sudeen i got the muse to write some poetry. It how i always write poetry when I am sad or angry or lonely or just plain disappointed. Oh well i hope you like it anyway. 

Sometimes I think of the way your eyes twinkle when you smile because my actions amuse you.

Sometimes I think of the way you wrinkle your nose when I suggest ridiculous things.

Sometimes I think of the way your chest rumbles with laughter because of something silly I did.

Sometimes I think of the way you hold my hand when I am cared about something silly.

Sometimes I think of the way you hold me in your arms because everything became too much all at once.

Sometimes I think of the way you kiss my cheeks when i whine that you don’t comply with my requests.

Sometimes I think of the way you hold me in your arms as though I am the most precious thing in the world.

Sometimes I think of the way you look at me with such adoration in your eyes that it’s suffocating.

But most of the times I think about how you look at her as though she is the centre of your universe.

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                                                                                                                                                                Past

Not many things in life scare me. In fact I can count the things I am scared of on my fingers.

Snakes, flying and monsters and death, obscurity and nightmares don’t scare me.

Getting hit by a truck and hearing all your bones crack and bleeding until you are dizzy that you see swirly patterns and the light of the end of a tunnel doesn’t scare me.

Not having a stable job and having to drift from city to city in my old Camry, only to stick myself to a pole and seduce dirty old men to feed myself doesn’t scare me.

Not many things in life scare me. In fact I can count the things I am scared of on my fingers.

Trust, restriction and light and dreams, solitude and love scare me.

The possibility of you not loving me, holding me at night caressing my cheeks and leaving me a lonely wreck, ripping me to shreds that you can barely recognize me after I bare you my body and soul, that scares me.

Like a peacock being stripped off its wings, my dreams to be stripped off from me because it’s not right, because it’s not rational, because it’s not the ‘norm’, because I am being too selfish, because I want to feel alive, that scares me.

More than anything, the one thing that terrifies me the most is that one day I won’t be me because the society has molded me so many times like I am just play dough and altered me to fit in the box only for me to be just like the rest. That, that scares the living soul out of me.

                                                                                                                                                ----

                                                                                                                                                                Fears

Yeah this one i wrote a while ago when i read something about homouality and it pissed me off to no ends. 

Like Martin Luther King, I have a dream too.

I have a dream that one day I will be able to walk without being pointed out for my differences.

I have a dream that one day I will be able to wrap my arms around the person I love in public without being scared for our lives.

I have a dream that one day my son will come home from school and tell me “There is this guy at school and I love him” and I want to be able to say “That’s wonderful son, let’s have dinner together with his family” without my son being beaten to death.

I have a dream that one day my son will walk down the aisle in his white suit and bowtie and perfectly styled hair along with his handsome husband to be wedded together legally, with blessings from his family and friends.

I have a dream that one day people will be recognized for who they are and not by how they look or who they like.

I have a dream that one day people will look at me and finally say just my name without the ‘homoual’ before my name. 

                                                                                                                                                                           -----

                                                                                                                                                                                    Dreams

Yeah like i dont even know what i write sometimes anymore. 

Anyway please let me know how it was. Hope you guys are doing well.