“I’m just another fan”.. I always say that to myself but I still can’t prevent myself from getting hurt. 3 years, I’ve been a fan for 3 years but I’m still in denial with the fact that I’m just a fan. There are times that I still think that maybe.. maybe he’ll saw me and eventually he will fall in love with me.. but no.. I’m just a fan, a fan and nothing more. Yes I was there when he needed me but No he didn’t know that I’m with him all along.. He don’t even know my existence. It sure damn hurt but that’s the truth, the reality.. Reality that I have to face, Reality that I have to accept, Reality that  will always wake me up when I’m drown in my fantasy, the most hated word of fangirls, Reality.

He’s in love with a girl and that girl is not me. This girl make him happy, complete, things that I would never make him feel and it hurts.. It hurts to know that I cant make him love me, that whatever I do, I would never make him feel happy. It hurts that I’m not good enough for him. It hurts that I’m just a fan and he’s an idol.

It’s just so sad. Just so sad :’(