My LOVE is INFINITE

It's 5 in the morning and here I am thinking about INFINITE..

I know I should be happy for BTS' comeback as they are my focus now (real talk) but logging this accnt of mine kind of reminded me about INFINITE again..

It's been a few weeks since the news about Hoya leaving the group has been out..

I wasn't able to express my feelings here so let me just get it all out of my chest..

Hoya has been my UB since Paradise era which was in 2011, I even call him my hubby lolol and almost everyone that knows me (kpop friends) will definitely know that I'm a Hoya stan.. 

So when the news comes out, a lot of my friends tag or msg me about it and I regret the time that I decided to open my accnt when I was still outside cause when I saw the article, I had to stop and control my tears cause I was out with my officemates, and knowing them, they will judge me so bad if I suddenly break down and cry so I had to control my feelings until I finally got home..

I have a friend who has been my friend since HS and we click because of Kpop and INFINITE, her msg was the first thing I read which said 'DON'T OPEN ANYTHING!' but then when I check my tagged notif, that's when I understand what she mean.. She knows that I'll be hurt.. She knows that the news will break me and I was thankful for her cause everytime I had to say something about the issue, she was there to listen to me..

So yea, I was a crying mess that day.. Can you imagine me spacing out while crying, yes, I did that.. Even in front of my mom who said nothing and just let me cry and get the pain out of my chest.. That day was such a heart-breaking day..

I was so heart broken because I thought they will be always there, the seven  of them.. I was so confident that they'll always be together cause that was their promise.. I believe them, I always believe them because they are INFINITE.. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Hoya nor the members cause I love them so much to even feel any hatred.. All I felt was pain from knowing that in the next comeback, my bias wont be there.. Pain from knowing that when I next saw them, I'll only see 6 performing on stage when it should be 7.. Pain from the broken hope inside my heart that maybe, maybe they'll be the only IDOLS to not break their promise..

INFINITE has been a huge part of my life, not only Hoya but the SEVEN of them.. I love them with all my heart that even though they wake me up on this harsh world that nothing last forever, I will still support them no matter what.. I will still be there for INIFNITE and for HOYA no matter what cause that's what fans are for, to support and to love every single one of them..

Hoya might decided to part ways with the other 6 members but I know in my heart that INFINITE will always be OT7..

 

I'm feeling much better now that I am the last few weeks.. Acceptance is the key ^^ It's hard but I know I can do this.. Sorry if this blog is soooooo long haha I just had to share my thoughts about it.. Thank you for those who read until the end ^^

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wangjasungyeol
#1
Lavaaaan Jasmine! ❤️❤️❤️
Anbutterfly02
#2
Thank you so much for sharing how you feel cuz I know for you and others it gets easier when you talk about it. Let's hope for them to do well in whatever they do and to have many happy interactions in the future!