There are times in my life that I feel so confident. During those times, nothing can bring me down. I live life to the fullest and laugh sincerely. During those times, I am unstoppable. I feel like my future is bright, and I could rule the world. Those times were yesterday. Today, I just feel lonely.

Today, it just hits me, I really don't have many people close to me. Sure, I have my friends and my close friends, but you all know what a girl really wants. A girl wants that prince in shining armor. A girl wants that rush of adrenaline when a crush smiles at them. When I look at my life, I feel like I live out of everyone else's fantasy. All these girls, beautiful or average found someone to enjoy their company. Even those ones who are absolutely horrible to other people can find their high school romance. Gradually, all my friends paired up and spend less and less time with me. Friendship is suppose to last forever; why do I feel like mine are fading away?

Sure, there was that one person, but he had a puppy crush. It was just that small childhood crush that carried into high school a little bit. After one night at homecoming, that crush faded. I guess I just don't attract boys. I mean, I think I'm pretty. I am average height. I have a rather nice figure. It must be my personality then. I am often told I am smart, witty, funny, bubly, and friendly. But sometimes, I am very sarcatic and cold. Am I that unlikable? 

And of course, on day like these, it has to rain. I just sat in my music room and stared out the window sufficating in my lonelyness. 

So many people tell me, "You are just out of every guy's league. When you go to college, you'll find someone." I know that's probably true, but still. I am that romantic teen girl that wants her happy high school romance. I want someone that will be there to hold me when I am down (like today). Maybe I ask for too much. But is asking for an above average looking guy that's funny, smart, and caring too much?

I was at a show choir practice today, and I saw all the couples so sweet and loving together. I felt lonely and barricaded from them. I felt like an outsider. I have only friendzoned one person, but he already found someone else (they are very happy together). I asked myself again, "Am I not good enough?" I don't know. I just feel so so lonely.