cries i cant believe this. i think it's happening again. 

i'll just make this as short as possible bc i dont rlly want to rmb a lot of things lmao

ok i'll just start with this,

George. I met this guy when i was in 1st year High School, that time he was still in 6th grade ( YES IM OLDER THAN HIM ;A; only by 8 months though huehue) he was my crush until i was in 3rd year.. long time ,right? but im 100% that it was just a crush or an infatuation whatever lol i didnt feel smth deeperrrrr (emphasis on that) for him. eugh. now memories are flooding back >///<

i was just a kid (i still am) and of course i did crazy things lol i even got mad at my teacher bc i share all my secrets about george with him then i was just shocked to hear g's classmates tease me about those things. like, when i told my teacher, g called me and omg we talked and blahblahblah then the day after that he asked g about it.. in front of his classmates and idk what was g's reaction? probably embarrased? by the fact that he talked to me. the most unwanted and 'ew' girl in our school. haha. ok so uhm and his classmates teased me after that. before everyone always makes fun of me bc yeah a girl like me liked him haha even myself think that it's very funny. srsly. but what hurted me the most was the fact that people thought i talked to him so i can COURT him... LIKE WHAT THE ???? LMAO i wont do that!!! no matter how much i liked him, i will never ever do that. 

and after what happened with george i never had any 'serious' crush with someone bc i got scared?? and i told myself i will just be happy to watch people who are inspired or inlove or whatever. ok so i promised to myself not to have a serious crush with someone hahaha (are you traumatized, gull?) 

but guess who just broke her promise????

okay he's kent, he is studying in the same school as me, we're in the same year but he's taking electrical engineering. i thought if i'd be a college student things like this wouldnt happen again but WHY!!!!! okayyyy haha

kent is a dancer. although he's a little chubby, just a little, he still dances well. he is not that tall? maybe as tall as chen?? yeah. and he is the president of their class. infact, im not just the only one in our class who likes him. even our gay president likes him. actually they liked him way before i do haha ( no one knows in my class that i like him though )ok so uhm kent is kind?? very kind. and he looks like a very huggable person lmao (idk why am i smiling while typing this right now)

and we talked. we started to talk last night. just last night haha >/////< it took me weeks to decide if i should talk to him or not.  and eventually i decided to not to talk to him bc i dont want to happen what happened to me before but hearing that he's going to manila to continue his studies made me do otherwise. it's better late than never right? i dont want to experience what i experienced before but i dont want to waste the chance to talk to him either...  i thought so hard about this last night just before i slept. i think this time i can handle things? bc yeah im a little mature than i was when the thing with g happened.

i was laughing at him last night bc he thought i was a boy. hahaha i really hate my name

our convo was like this:

me: you're an EE student right?

him : yeah! why? are you going to shift? 

me: no! lol why would i????

him: idk? so you will be more handsome? \m/ (yes he really typed that)

me: wait.. what? haha do you think im a guy???

him: uhm??? aren't you??

me: haha im a girl kent.. gaaaah i really hate my name ><

him: Hahahaha Lol. Sorry :p

HAHAHA -____-

ok so uhm he isnt talking to me right now and idk why am i getting sad?? though i tell myself i shouldnt ;~;