Heeey, so I'll try to keep the babbling short to come to the important points. Why am I doing this? It's almost 1 AM, so sleeping would be more reasonable, but I've been wanting to do this for a while already. So, here I am, enjoying my summer break and staying up late (I've gone to bed at 3 AM the past two weeks), haha. XD.

Anyways, I'll finally come to the point:

Inspiration? 

What is my inspiration? And what does inspiration mean to me?

My inspiration, unlike many people's inspiration, doesn't consist of thousands of scenes or situations or worlds or fantastic creatures that just randomly arise in my mind. My inspiration mostly consists of thoughts. Thoughts that lead to my mind creating scenes or situations. What kind of thoughts? As I mentioned in the video, my thoughts are usually an opinion. My opinion on certain people (a certain mindset), on a certain problem in today's society, on humans in general, on topics such as "good and bad" (the quotation marks are on purpose because I honestly think that a division between those two is crap), on feelings, character traits, etc. 

I tend to think a lot. Most of the time it's unnecessary, but I don't know what to do with my "unnecessary" thoughts because they are thoughts I am not supposed to say aloud. But, I don't want to keep them to myself, so I create stories with them. In fact, some are the foundation of many of my stories.

Then, my thoughts are also often questions. Due to thinking a lot, many questions arise, and as my former ethics teacher, a very wise man, once said: "An answer to one question will cause five new questions to emerge." So, logically, the more you find out, the less you know. But even if that is the case, I cannot stop my thirst for knowledge. Don't get me wrong; I'm not all too interested in politics or some things in human history. What I am interested in are thoughts. If anything, I wish not hear what happened back then, but I wish to know what the people were thinking. I want to know how different the thoughts back then are compared to the ones now. There are many questions like that whirling around in my mind, and they, too, are often the trigger for me to start a story. 

Thoughts. Opinions. Questions. All those sound so vague, don't they? It'd be easier, if I said that looking at a flower I will immediately have a story of a florist in my mind or something. But that's not how most of my stories work. Admittedly, back then my mind was constantly spitting ideas like this, spitting plots like this. But even if I think of a plot, it's nothing amazing or super unique, and if I just tried to make something out of the plot, the story would end up being super lame and boring. What I have are my thoughts. My thoughts and my "ability" - if I my say so myself - to convey my thoughts through characters, scenes, actions in my stories. 

And after a while, I realized that I unconsciously grew used to creating stories because of a certain thought. And now I don't think I could, or would even want to, create a story without a thought behind it. Writing a story with an amazing plot has to be fun, definitely, but one thing is that I cannot think of amazing plots, and the other is that I don't think I could enjoy that kind of fun. Creating plots, plot twists is not what I like to do. Creating characters, scenes, situations, that convey my thoughts, that's what I like to do. Because, in the end, my motivation to write is the feeling of being understood. 

As someone who's often been misunderstood, I have so much I want to fix. As a thinker, who can't stop her thoughts for just a second, I have so many thoughts in my mind. As a person, who likes sharing and spreading things, I have so much to say to this world. All that comes together and is my motivation and inspiration at the same time.

I hope this could give you an insight of what I consider my inspiration. I know, it kind of turned out complicated and weird, and I honestly don't now where I'm going while I'm writing this, but right now, at this very second, this is what my mind gave me when I wondered about inspiration. So it was take it or leave it, and I decided to do the former.

I am really, really interested in what you think of my kind of inspiration, as well as what your kind of inspiration is. So please do tell me. ;)

Okay, I'm off, either reading some fanfics, watching some anime or going on tumblr, haha. Till then, bye! C: