Everyday I try to figure out exactly who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. 

What makes me truly happy?

Where am I trying to go in life?

What do I want to do after college?

What am I trying to succeed in doing?

Everday, questions like these are running through my mind. I try and see what I am actually good at and what makes me happy enough that I'd consider it as a career ... But every time I try to figure it out, my mind goes blank. 

"Try not to think too much on it."

"You'll figure it out, just give it some time."

Oh, really? Well, that's all fine and dandy ... Except the fact that I can't not think about it (double-negative used purposely)!!!! 

It really bothers me that I don't know ... But I have come to some conclusions, or wishes if you will.

I may not know where I'll be in my future or what I'll be doing ... But I wish for some certain things that I know I want.

I wish:

That I will be able to wear short-sleeved shirts without the having cuts showing. 

That I will have the self-confidence to speak my opinion without doubting myself.

That I will be able to not have that fear in my mind that I will fail at whatever I do.

That I won't be afraid of doing things on my own and think I'll do horrible.

That I will be able to love myself, fully.

That I will be able to not be afraid of life in general.

My wishes are wishes because my dreams are things that I have not come to realize ...my wishes are wishes because I can grant them to myself. 

A kind of pointless blog that is merely something for me to write out how I feel and to keep to my word (which is something I have a hard time doing). 

Well, on a happier note, SHINee has been with us for 5 years! I haven't been a Shawol for that long since I found Kpop about two years ago (roughly). But I can say with great pride that SHINee got me into loving Kpop!

I was first a Shawol, and even though I am now an Exotic as well (and I'm getting into other groups more, but I am mostly a Shawol and Exotic), I will be a Shawol forever. 

Even though the only constant in life is change, me being a Shawol and Exotic will never deviate.   

And ... Lastly ...

Holy , I'm ing excited!!!!!!! Who's ready for Exo's new album??!?! I know I am!!!

Okay, I'm done with my random blog that you all didn't have to read!! Lol for those who are still reading this ... Awwww, I love you <3 *hugs*