Title: Survivors' Heart
Author: SHINeeCookie
Reviewer: sakurahae

Title: [8/10]

I like the title, although I feel its ever so slightly cheesy, it still works well. It's short, catchy, and stands out. Good job. 

Description and Foreword: [7/10]

Your description is set up well, if a bit long. Its very aesthetically pleasing. I feel that your foreword might have been better if it was trimmed down just a little, into something that set up your story, but was vague enought that it leaves your readers intrigued if you understand what I mean? But other than that, it was good~

Plot: [15/20]

Your plot is fairly strong and kept me interested until the end of what you have posted. I wish you had spent a little more time on world building, as sometimes I'm a little unsure as to why things were happening. How does one contract kuru? what's this army and why was it formed and when? things like that. I feel that if you fleshed it out a little more, put a little more focus into the survival strategies and struggles, that the romance of the characters would be that much more powerful. Try working in how the situations are affectiong their feelings, actions, and reactions, to tie it all together. as it is, I get a little bit of the feeling of two seperate stories. One is a love triangle, and then there is this zombie story thats happening as well, but not often do they interact.

Flow: [15/15]

Your story flowed well, and I was easily able to read it with out getting caught up in places. I didn't get confused by POV shifts. I was carried along from start to end without pause, so full marks here.

Characterization: [12/15]

I feel you characterization becomes better the more you write them. at first the seem to blend together, but develope distinct voices the more i read. this may be because there isn't much to draw from when you first start out, but i think that each characters voice has teh potentiial to be distinct right from the start. it doesn't have to be gimmicky, but right now i'd focus on developing voice for your characters right from the get go. other than that I felt they characterization was pretty good. 

Mechanics: [17/20]

I noticed a few typos, but only a couple. My main issue was with your use of descriptive words. I noticed you have a tendency to use several descriptives in a row, and that can kind of add up after a while. I'm sure you've heard the saying "show, don't tell", I think you focus on that when describing things. is there a more effective way to do it? can you cut out some descriptives and still get your point across? etc.

Appearance: [10/10]

Full marks. I like the use of the red and black, it makes for a mood setting for the story.

Bonus: [3/5]

I do love that you have at least someworld building going on, as thats a personal favourite of mine, when it comes to stories. So I'm giving you points for that ^^

Total: 87/100 B

R/N: Well, I think you had a solid story there, with only a few sticking points that kept you from an A score. keep writing and good luck~

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