When I was 12 years old, I had a really strong depression.

I  one day I thought I didn’t want to laugh anymore, nor have friends, nor care about people.

I thought being alone was okay.

So I isolated myself, almost didn’t speak and stayed at home almost all the time doing nothing.

I used to wonder…Why am I so empty?

What’s this whole inside my chest, it hurts so much. And my mind was empty too.

I used to read and watch anime all my free time, but the moment I stopped looking at the screen my mind was blank again, I couldn’t understand what the meaning on living like that was. 

Being an empty shell.

And I cried every night, I couldn’t even sleep thinking, what my propose in life was.

What did I do wrong?

Do I even deserve this?

One day, I started listening k-pop, it made me feel happy after a long time, but even when it filled my mind with whatnots and random stuff but my heart was still empty.

And I didn’t know what to do.

I still couldn’t sleep, my depression was almost gone, but my paranoia remained. I was afraid almost all the time.

I had been alone so long, I didn’t even know how to talk to people anymore.

I forgot how to smile.

I usually got misunderstood; I couldn’t get people to understand what I was feeling because I became expressionless.

I got nervous even to go to the supermarket; I couldn’t even run in public, I still can’t. I was fragile as a new born, talking about human communication. 

And no one understood.

I was alone.

One day, I was listening to this awesome new group, B.A.P, in YouTube, and I saw another new song called What is love.

Curious I opened.

But I closed it almost immediately.

My mistake?

I didn’t wait to hear their heavenly voices and I regret it now.

Then History came out, it was catchy and upbeat and I fell for the group right away.

At that time I used to go to my best friend’s house to watch inkigayo every week, and it was on April 8^th I found out it was EXO’s debut. So I waited patiently.

They performed…And I found myself crying really hard.

I didn’t even know them for long, but it was a connection. I was so so proud of them.

I forgot about other groups, and started learning more about them, watching the teasers over and over again. One of them caught my attention.

Byun BaekHyun.

It was then when my world changed completely.

Maybe it was his smile.

When I saw his smile, I didn’t feel empty anymore.

When I saw his smile, I knew what I was lacking.

When I saw his smile… I wanted to be better, to smile just as bright for the people around me.

I’ve seen EXO work hard this year, and I worked hard too.

I’ve seen them improve as I did.

And that’s why I feel we did this journey together.

It’s a year now guys, I can’t even express with words how much I love you, how much you mean for me, how much would I do for you.

How much you’ve given to me.

I don’t know how to repay you.

But I’ll smile and thank you all my life, because you gave me back what I was lacking. That fire, determination and a goal, so I could keep waking up every morning.

So I wouldn’t be afraid of the monsters under my bed.

So I could finally be what I wanted to be.

I know there’ll be many persons who won’t understand at all.

But there’s been so many of them in my life, I don’t care anymore.

That’s why I’m thankful

That’s why I wish you; us, a happy anniversary and I hope we can be together for many years from now on.

Happy One Year Anniversary.

We Are One!