I guess I'm happy. He has the girl he wants, the girl he deserves. If i was asked face-to-face how i felt about it, what would i say?..... I'd  say "I don't care." that's too far from the truth. I do care, i care if he gets hurt, i care if he's happy. You know, his smiles are brighter lately, while mine are dimming and ungenuine. He cant talk about her forever, while i have nothing to say. His eyes sparkle while mine feel lifeless and empty. But i can pull this off can't i? I can smile and talk, he won't be able to tell, he's too focused on his girlfriend. What has he done to me? If i see them together, i stop in my tracks and shrink away. If i have to go somewhere and they're together, i hid my face and hope for the best like i'm ashamed of him seeing me. Jealousy burns inside me when they kiss, when they say things, when they hold hands. What am i to do? I can't stop him from liking his girlfriend, how could i fall for such a guy? nice, smart, on the football team, funny, and a dork. the perfect drama male lead. Why would he fall for me anyways? I'm not pretty, i dont have cute accessories, i dont put on make up much, im not smart even, my self esteem hits rock bottom. he likes fashionable girls, me? i dont stick with trends, its when i start liking something then people start making it a trend. this is a self-pity rant about my ideal guy got away, tch