-- Belittle; when lack of confidence strikes.

October 16, 2012

-- Tuesday

I remember reading one awesome story on a fanfiction site and saw the author's note written below the updated chapter. I need to tell you this, she's a great writer. The kind that writes stories that never fails to amaze and surprise the readers. Yes, she's definitely one of those 'magical' authors. However, what was written below her story update was a profession of disappointment over her story; she even said that it's not good and that it's crap. I sat there, gaping at my laptop's screen, scratching my head and thinking about how a great writer like she is can say that to her own story. I mean I was like, "don't you know how much I envy you for being so good?!" Her stories are perfection!

This suddenly got me thinking about why most people tend to belittle their own skills.

I myself am guilty of this; most of the time I disregard the fact that I am actually good at something, doubting and stressing over how pathetic I see myself and my works. I lack confidence, I lack trust, but most of all, I guess I am just not satisfied with my abilities. It's bad I know, ethical issues on questioning God-given talents may even come into discussion, but really, I am insatiable. I keep telling myself that I can still grow, that I still have room for improvement. But those thoughts only come to me on the verge of giving up, and it offers short-lived assurances.

What if I never hit that phase of development? I fear being stuck with the little knowledge I currently possess.

I crave for perfection, and am too hungry for improvement.

{ blog post seen here }

December 10, 2012

-- Monday: Library Research Paper proposal-making day.

I seriously need to get my creative juices flowing for that research paper. Sorry for posting this but- just. I'm literally jumping out my skin because of anticipation.

If my topics will be turned down I'd be celebrating halloween on the 25th instead of Christmas.

Have a great day you people you.

Achailee

Comments

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shining_writer #1 Dec 10, 2012 00:36:02

LOL I remember writing my first story then I wrote a chapter quickly then updated but I said that chapter was crap.

For sometime I wished it was me who was that 'magical' author but no, I'm not a magical author lol.

--iSoul #2 Dec 10, 2012 00:34:12

I k ow that feeling, when you constantly think that everything you do is not good enough. People call me a perfectionist, maybe I do agree a bit. I try to make everything perfect but i always think that it's crap in the end. But then I've learn to take just a bit of confidence in everything you do. It's hard actually.. Since we humans tend to think of ourselves for always being do
imperfect.