i've been known and i know myself that i'm a smiling person, a 'happy' person, that i look like as if i don't have any problem in the world or that no problem could faze me. my friends are amazed that i don't get angry easily even if the joke gets hurtful (maybe its from my med friends only)

but i do. not easily but i do.

and because i realized that when i do get angry or hate someone i'd forever hate or dislike them, i don't want to have that sort of feelings. and i'm thankful that i've got lots of 'training' dealing with my contrasting ideals or feelings with my dad that i could handle hurtful words that have made my friends angry already.

i joke. i kid. i tease. i mock. but i know where to stop and some people just don't. and i don't want to make the nickname: enemy forever be a real one. or at least be frenemy. i don't want to add him to -dislike list- he's a funny guy. a helpful friend. a good friend. an addition to my small list of guy friends. and i don't want to bad mouth him with the part of 'Truth' that i know about him. he doesn't know how much i had been holding myself not to tell my new found guy friend/group mate about his 'true self'...

thank you cousin for leaving your guitar for our uncle to borrow. i get to befriend it again. and it made me happy knowing my fingers still know the placement. that i still know. and learning that i didn't actually lost my guitar made me happier. so i'm back to happy mode now. for now...