Just knowing that my favorite SM groups are here in California, not even 10 miles from my house, 10 minutes from my house, makes me:

-want to throw up

-run around the house

-smash my face into a wall

-jump off a cliff

and die.

What am I going to do with my life now?

How am I supposed to live?

WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME?

I honestly don't know what my purpose in life is anymore.

Lord, help me.