I swear, my life is being controlled by College Board. 

For the past 6-8 months, since the beginning of summer in 2011 actually, my life was SAT, SAT, SAT, SAT, SAT II Math, SAT, SAT II Math, SAT, SAT, AP Chem, Ap Calc, AP Chem, AP Calc.

And now, having defeated the monster that is the SAT, I find that my life is still oh-so-busy. I'm still focusing on AP Chem and AP Calc, which will then turn into SAT II Chem, SAT II Calc, and SAT II Apush when APs are over. Junior year is just oh-so-great, isn't it? /sarcasm

And today, when I stepped away from everything for ten minutes and tried to re-evaluate my life that has so drastically changed from my life last year, I still feel relatively happier. Despite everything, I don't feel any more pressure from my parents. My college counselor has basically thrown away all my fears of applying to college, I have a good SAT score, and I have an internship that's waiting for me this summer.

But, at the same time, I made so many sacrifices. I won't go into detail here, but one that was extremely significant is AFF and well, K-Pop in general. I've stopped listening to K-Pop since September, and I can only vaguely remember the songs Super Junior and Beast promoted. I've lost track of all the OSTs that Kyuhyun and Yoseob have sung, and I no longer follow updates on Allkpop either. It has come to a point where I find their old songs foreign to me as well. My I-Touch is left rotting away somewhere, and I really just don't find the urge to listen to K-Pop anymore.

And, as I focus on my "real life" (since the one on the Internet isn't real...HA!), I'm starting to drift away from the Korean pop scene altogether, and this has started to reflect in my writing. The stories I write no longer have a sense of who the boys in Super Junior are anymore. I write based on how I picture my characters; to me, the boys are now lifeless and are just waiting for me to mold them into something different. It's hard trying to back into that "groove" especially when I've been living in the real world for more than half a year.

Is there a point in this post? Probably not. In the end, I'll start writing again, but the portrayal of the boys may be completely different from what I had written before.