So...Today at 12pm, my sweet furry angel, Snowball, returned to the Lord's side.

He was 17 years old, American Eskimo dog (march 14th he would've been 18.) He definitley lived a long live full of love. But it doesn't make it any easier. I feel numb but at the same time, my soul aches so much, it feels like another part of it withered away and died. 

My brother and I were with him to the very end, I didn't want to let go. But in the end, it wasn't about any of us- it was about him and he was only holding on for us. He wa such a sweet soul...our furry angel. We had to be strong and allow him to let go, we had to do what was best for him, y'know?

Snowball is with Spicegirl, and Sugarboy- who he'll finally be able to meet- They were with me through so much, from a young child into my adulthood...I don't know how i'll keep moving forward with him by my side. I barely made it through after Spicegirl's death. 

I still have two other pets that I need to be strong for though, our cats Jasper and Yoongi. Jasper was there for Spicegirl and the same with Snowball. We've only had Yoongi for a year but I know he also feels the loss of Snowball.

It feels empty without any dogs in the house now, but Im so very Blessed that our cats are so loving.

I'm also really angry how my mother handled it, everyword that comes out of sounds fake and ungenuine. It's alwats about her, she's the victim and i'm just sick of it, of her. I cringe everytime she speaks and I wish she'd just piss off. 

I just need to shut down for awhile, listen to alot of music and hide away. I probably won't be updating my stories this weekend, I'll try to get something out later in the week though, I apologize- 

I just can't even think or focus right now. Even writing this is taking all the energy I have left.

My mind is in a fog right now, I can't even cry anymore at the moment, I'm just exsisting...I think this is all I can say right now, I just can't...

My sweet angel, Snowball, you are and will always be loved. This world is darker without you in it, and a piece of my soul died along with you. I hope we will be able to meet again when that time comes and thank you for always being by my side.

R.I.P, snowball💔💔🖤🖤