(This is a repost from my old AFF account, I didn't want to forget this).

I know this is late but this is my good-bye letter to him. I apologize for posting it so late.

To Jonghyun, Jonghyun's mother & sister, Minho, Kibum, Jinki, Taemin, Lee Soo-Man, Taeyeon, Nine9, SM artists, Shawols, Kpop Fans, and Everyone else hurt by this unfortunate occasion.

I first want to start this off with the fact that everything I'm about to write is straight from my heart. Jonghyun has left a very beautiful mark on my soul and I'm thankful for his mother for having him. Thankful for Lee Soo-Man who took Jonghyun into his company, allowing him to gain four brothers and make a difference in this world. I'm thankful for the shawols who have followed SHINee and made sure to support them so they can live comfortably. I'm thankful for the artists around the world that has inspired Jonghyun to be who he was and inspired his artistry. I'm thankful for the SM family that took care of Jonghyun and loved him dearly. I want to thank everyone who was apart of Jonghyun's life. Thank you for loving and caring for him and cheering him on. Thank you for believing in him and allowing his music to be free and able to touch your hearts. 

When I first discovered SHINee, I felt safe, i felt secured. I was in a hospital chair, hooked up to a machine that kept filtering my blood so I could stay alive. I was the small age of 9, I made a mistake on YouTube and it brought me to SHINee. I felt like I was in a different world as I listened to these five talented boys sing. I didn't understand the language but I felt their voices in my heart. I fell in love with each and everyone of them, binging my days in the hospital over their videos and performances. I can honesty say SHINee was my comfort zone, my safe haven, the group that made everything alright just through their songs. I watched SHINee grow and I grew with them. I enjoyed watching each member grow into the men they are. They went from beautiful boys to beautiful excellent men. Their music maturing and growing, their legacy growing strong. It was through SHINee I could comfortably sleep at night in my battle of being in and out of the hopsital. I made art dedicated to them and even hung their pictures in my 7th grade locker. I'm no longer 9, I'm now 17 and that means SHINee has comforted me for 8 years now almost 9. 8 beautiful years of them loving fans, like me, and doing what I presumed made them most happy.

Watching them and other idols, I often believed they were all happy. They have these fans, amazing group members that became family to them. I never really thought about idols being upset about life. But they are human too. They will be sad, they will get angry, they will feel lost, they will feel everything we feel. But despite all of that they keep going for fans like us and their own family. I can't express how thankful I am for how thoughtful idols are of us. How they have made us fans the center of their world. A world that can sometimes be rough but at the end of the day we all unite to love and look up to these beautiful people. It saddens me to learn that Jonghyun thought he wasn't enough for us, that his music wasn't enough for the fans. His albums Story Op. 1, She Is, Story Op. 2 have all songs that I absolutely love. Not only did SHINee's albums touch my heart, his albums touched my heart as well. His voice was my blanket on a cold night, his smile was the light in my dark days, his laughter was the joy that made me smile, he was everything that helped me forget just how hard life was for me and others. He was a shining star with SHINee but even when he was solo he was still the shining star. 

I thank Jinki, Minho, Kibum, and Taemin for being there next to Jonghyun. I thank them for becoming more than just his band members. They became his brothers, his best friends, his everything. We only know what we see from photos and videos but I have no doubts that they all love eachother on and off stage. The passion they had for him and his passion for them is 100% real.  Please Jinki, Minho, Kibum, and Taemin, please don't blame yourselves for what has happened. You all did your job in touching his life and making it beautiful. I want you guys to rest, to cry, to talk to someone, and please find comfort in each other as the days go on. Shawols please give them the time to grieve, give them the time to allow this to set in. Lets not only give them time but give everyone else time. Support your idols and never fail to let them know you absolutely love them. 

I thank you Jonghyun's mom and Sodam for caring for him. Thank you for allowing him to follow his dreams, thank you for raising him to be a beautiful man. Thank you for being an amazing sister to him and a wonderful mother. I know it hurts to lose him but don't forget your love for him and his love for you. Take all the time you need to heal and please stay free from the media until you can handle it. I may not know you two but I love you. 

Lee Soo-Man, thank you for giving Jonghyun his career along with your other artists. Thank you for giving them a place to let their voices shine, thank you for creating families within your company. Thank you for allowing these idols to be blessing for fans and other idols. Please take the time to relax and grieve as well, you deserve it and again thank you.

Shawols and kpop fans, thank you for being there for SHINee. For being there for Jonghyun, thank you for being there for all your precious idols. At this time they need us to comfort them and love them. They need us to be there with open hands and hearts. No drama, no fanwars, no problems. We just need to stick together to make sure our beautiful idols know they are wanted, that they are loved, that they aren't alone, that it's okay to cry. Let them know they are doing an excellent job, that they have done well all of their careers and further on. 

Idols, please do take this time to grieve as well. Don't force yourselves to jump back into work if you're not ready. I understand you guys have lost a beautiful soul and trust me, we the fans and family are hurting with you. Hold onto the precious memories you've had with Jonghyun. Hold onto the conversations, the laughter, the photos, the videos, and anything else that reminds you of him. Please, if you're feeling depressed get some help. There's no problem with getting help for your depression. Please, don't leave the weight of it on your shoulders. Please find someone to talk to and confide in, not just for us but yourselves and family. 

Jonghyun, please know that you did an amazing job. Your work will not go unnoticed and will be appreciated forever. I don't know how painful life was for you but do know I don't blame you. We don't blame you. We love you and want you to shine forever, be our brightest star in the sky. I want you to know from my heart and million others, that you did absolutely amazing. I love you and I won't ever forget the impact you had on this world. 

Thank you and I love you. 
 

©Kyanite69