Hey there!

Whew, back with another blog, this one is a fun one I think! I got this from my friend and fellow writer heclgehog, make sure you head over and check out her page and her questionnaire!

Ok, here's mine if anyone is interested!

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40 Questions for Fanfic Writers

1. Describe your comfort zone

I guess I'm a fluff, romance, angst, /a girl. I love a good happy ending where the main characters get together and the antagonist gets what they have coming to them. I'm big into vengeance. 

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Initally it was the whole stalker thing, but I did that just recently (not as well as I would've liked, but it's something to work on), other than that...nothing comes to mind right now, though I know there is something. 

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Anything to do with gangs/mafia or warewolves, I just can't. 

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

I have a list, an acutal list of ideas that I will eventually get to, right now mostly for BTS, but there is one for SHINee, Onew in particular. Well the Onew one I don't want to give away too much for, but there's two for him, one would be for a long form story and the other is to finish out my "Night at SM" series that has been on hold for far too long. The ideas are so skimpy, that they're not worth mentioning and why I haven't worked on them...that and I don't do more than one long form story at once. The visual (aka ) I'm simply so unorganized with the idea that I can't seem to form it well and I'm deadass scared to write Onew in a ual way, much like it was with Leo only I can't get past it with Onew. Small snippet of that would be a character who works for the company in a custodial job who is drawn to him. She is overlooked and looked down on in general by other idols in the company, primarly the girl groups. Onew will come to her defense in some way. That's about all I got, I have bits LOL!

5. Share one of your strengths.

My flow of storytelling is pretty good I think. I like to think things progress and flow naturally and in a believeable way. I think that is important when you tell at story. If it's disjointed and out of sorts, it's hard to follow and people lose interest. 

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

I have a hard time with the right kind of emotion. Pivitol moment with a lot of tension or anger and whatnot, I have a hard time conveying, this is due to my inablility as a person to be able to do it in real life. I work on it all the time, how to have drama with out being overdramatic or overemotional. I can't stand unrealistic drama and drama that's over the top and wild for the sake of sensationalism. I never want to be that writer. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oh man really? I'm awful at this kinda thing, truly. I can't without feeling like...*sigh* I'll try. 

~~“I have no one and I refuse to allow myself to wallow cause there’s others out there who have it way worse than me I know but…but…” she bit her lip, “W-why?”

“Aein?”

“Why doesn’t anyone want me? What did I do so wrong as a baby that my parents would give me up? What did I do so wrong that they would just…l-leave me alone to fend for myself? I couldn’t get adopted, they always picked someone else over me, three times…why?” She whimpered, the pressure on her chest growing, her face growing warm as the lump in grew bigger and bigger, making it hard for her to swallow, hard for her to speak. “Y-you’re gonna leave me too and I don’t even have the one comfort to remember you, someone who has shown me more affection and care than I’ve ever had in my life. Soon you’ll leave and then I’ll be alone again.”

Ravi shook his head, his eyes welling up suddenly.

She looked up at him, “Why doesn’t anyone…w-want me?”

Suddenly the dam burst and the tears flowed faster and harder.

“N-no one needed me, ever needed me, w-why?” She cried harder, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she bent over as she usually did when she cried with no abandon in rare times like this, with no one to console her but herself, crying so hard it literally hurt all over.

“Ohhh aein,” Ravi said gently, reaching out to pull her onto his lap and into his arms, kissing her temple lightly as he slid his hands down, unwrapping her arms and wrapping them around him instead.

He held her tightly as she sobbed into his chest, years of hurt and pain finally finding a safe place to spill out into. She hugged him hard, wishing desperately he could take all the pain away.

“Mianhae aein, I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong, nothing,” he said fiercely as he rubbed her back soothingly. “You are wanted, I promise, you are so wanted,” he whispered, closing his eyes.~~  From Part Six of  "Into Me" from the "Indulge Me" Series

Well I think I captured the emotion well here, even though that's one of my weaknesses, every so often I get it right, this was one of those times. I could see it in my mind if someone were to act it out. The dialogue just turned out well and I would love for a guy to do that for me. Hold me while my world is crumbling. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

~~ “You are special, you know all about me. My strengths, my weaknesses and you still stood by me, you were my friend. I didn’t want to mess that up, I didn’t want to let you down, I didn’t want to not be everything that you deserved.”

She swallowed hard looking at him, he’d slung an arm over his eyes as he spoke as if he were afraid to look at her.

“All those girls you saw me date, they were nothing, they didn’t know me, they didn’t care. They knew what my job was and wanted…they thought I…they never loved me. I was with them because it was what I was supposed to do, someone to try to fill that empty space in my heart, but they couldn’t. It wasn’t supposed to be them, they weren’t the one…they weren’t you and you were the only person who could fill that space.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she brought her gaze back to the ceiling.

“You never treated me like I was famous, you treated me like a person, like a human being. You didn’t care that I had issues, that secretly I wasn’t this perfect person everyone thinks, you just accepted me for who I was, no questions asked. How could I, this imperfect person, ever dream of being enough for you? And after what just happened, what you gave to me, I’m still not sure that I am,” he said softly, sniffling.

She wiped at her eyes, he said exactly everything she’d told herself as to why she couldn’t be with him.

“You think you were the only one with doubts? I’d finally gotten the courage up to tell you that day at the party, I was ready, but you wouldn’t let me. Instead, you pushed MinSeo to me. I kept trying, I kept secretly begging for you to let me have that chance, but you pushed me away and then you left me, stopped talking to me…you broke my heart jagi,” he whispered. ~~ From "Satisfy", my first Jimin visual.

So this is all a one sided dialogue and I really love it. I think it captures the mind of what could be any idol when it comes to dating and how they could potentially feel in a relationship, esp when they have someone their heart truly longs for and they're just going through the motions in their current relationship. My favorite line is that very very last one..."You broke my heart jagi". I imagined when I was writing that, how I would feel to have someone that I love tell me that, absolutely devastating, it would be, esp after what just happened. You can feel his emotion and he's already hyper sensitive and he's letting all this out and pouring his heart out to her and he simply tells her that she broke his heart and there he is, in bed with her after she told him she didn't want to know why and yet... he couldn't leave it alone, he had to make her realize...powerful. Ugh, I hate doing this, I feel like I'm tooting my own horn and I'm very uncomfortable. Can we pretend someone else wrote this so I don't feel so lousy??

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write? 

Initally my first Leo visual scene as part of my "Indulge Me" Series, but in actuality, the current Hongbin installment that I was working on and I am debating on finishing, this may break me and if not his, then Hyuk's for sure. Help!!

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? 

Anything about Taemin just flowed, always did. He was so easy for me to write and my N story for the "Indulge Me" series, those two were so easy to write for. 

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

My passion, I wish I could make it my career, but too afraid of rejection, silly right? But it's what brings me the most joy. 

12. Is there a moment above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

There's always little moments, it could be reading a really really great fic, seeing a great movie, hearing a great song, it just depends. 

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Write for yourself above all. You cannot and will NOT please everyone, so you have to write for you first and foremost. 

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Hmm I remember reading an article written by some man saying to a potential author to never write with the intention of becoming famous because you never will. That the likelihood that you'll be published and famous enough to be on "Oprah's Bookclub" is almost impossible so you should never write expecting that kind of success or really any success aside from minimal. What makes it so bad is that I believe it and I think about that any and everytime someone tells me I should try and get published and so...I don't, I don't even try. Mission Accomplished for that guy apparently. 

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

This goes back to the question above...I wouldn't.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

I don't know that I could, I write for so many people. Maybe either YoungSaeng of SS501/301 or Leo of VIXX with female lead. I don't really do pairings. 

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish, I can't do it in pieces, it'd be way too hard to come back and put it altogether in chunks. 

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Outlines, I LOVE outlines. The only time I don't outline is on visuals or ss's. All my longforms have outlines and I usually use a folder to keep all my bits of paper or special things that go with it, playlists, charts, research things, you name it. I also handwrite all my longform stories and then type them up, only with longform. I did have to chart out my "Indulge Me" series only because I had to have the colors and plots down and make sure things were consistant, esp since there were 6 stories that kinda had to tie together, but it's not a proper outline or anything, just summarizing what their part was about and then I filled in the rest as I went. I firmly believe outlines are a necessitity. 

19.  Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Yes, music. 98% of the time all my plots/storylines come from songs. I'll hear a song I love and think of how I can use it in a story or I'll get my idea from the story in the song. Music always does it for me. Sometimes it's just a person themselves that is a muse, but I tend to feel like whomever I'm writing about at the time is also my muse. 

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Depends, usually it's in bed with my laptop or at the kitchen table with my laptop. 

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I'm always rereading as I'm writing. I usually go and reread the last chapter I wrote before I start or if I'm mid chapter,I go and reread what I wrote and make any changes if needed. 

22.  Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style.

Wow...uhh...this seems intense...let's see.

Original:

“I know it’s not the B&B it’s just my apartment and not really a getaway, but you are still a guest and I still want you to have a good time. So will you let me make it up to you?”

Young Saeng looked truly lost, “Veronica, you don’t have to.”

She nodded, “I know, but I want to, no, need to, I need to Young Saeng.”

His face fell, “Veronica,” he said softly, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, sadness filling his eyes.

He knew, he knew exactly what was going on and Veronica realized amazingly, that she was ok with that. She brought her hands up to cover his.

“I want…no more regrets Young Saeng. This time when it happens and you leave, I want to know I’ve done what I wanted to it’ll make the longing and the pain a little less difficult.”

“Veronica…” Young Saeng whispered.

“And when I fall asleep, you’ll hold me right? Hold me all through the night?”

Young Saeng stared at her, his eyes welling up, he nodded, “And you’ll be in my arms when I wake up ne? Promise me jagi that you’ll not deny me again. Let me wake up beside you one last time,” he said softly.

Veronica smiled a bit, leaning in and kissing him gently before pulling away, “I will, I promise.”

Young Saeng looked devastated and Veronica smiled.

“I am not giving up Young Saeng, just giving in. I don’t have the energy to fight it anymore, I’m so tired, I give into it, that’s all. So that when the time comes, we can part knowing that we leave it all here, nothing more to hope for.

“Ani…” Young Saeng said his voice barely above a whisper.

“If it is fate for us to ever meet again Young Saeng, we will, we will be together in some way. Now is not that time, beyond tonight, beyond this moment, it is not guaranteed. So let’s enjoy this time, enjoy each other.”

Veronica frowned as a tear made its way down his cheek and she wiped at it with her thumb, “No tears sweet baby.”

She leaned in, kissing him deeply, pulling him down to rest on top of her. Young Saeng pulled away burying his face in her neck and she hugged him tightly.

Revised:

“I know it’s not the B&B it’s just my apartment and not really a getaway, but you are still a guest and I still want you to have a good time. So will you let me make it up to you?”

Young Saeng looked truly lost, “Veronica, you don’t have to.”

She nodded, “I know, but I want to, no...I need to, I need to Young Saeng.”

His face fell, “Veronica,” he said softly, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, sadness filling his eyes.

He knew, he knew exactly what was going on and Veronica realized amazingly, that she was ok with that. She brought her hands up to cover his.

“I want…no more regrets Young Saeng. This time when it happens and you leave, I want to know I’ve done what I wanted to it’ll make the longing and the pain a little less difficult.”

“Veronica…” Young Saeng whispered.

“And when I fall asleep, you’ll hold me right?”

Young Saeng stared at her, his eyes welling up, he nodded, “And you’ll be in my arms when I wake up ne? Promise me jagi that you’ll not deny me again. Let me wake up beside you one last time,” he said softly.

Veronica smiled a bit, leaning in and kissing him gently before pulling away, “I will, I promise.”

Young Saeng looked devastated and she smiled.

“I am not giving up Young Saeng, just giving in. I don’t have the energy to fight it anymore, I’m so tired, I give into it, that’s all. So that when the time comes, we can part knowing that we leave it all here and move on."

“Ani…” Young Saeng said his voice barely above a whisper.

“If it is fateed for us to ever meet again, we will, we will be together in some way. Now is not that time, beyond tonight, beyond this moment, it is not guaranteed. So let’s enjoy this time, enjoy each other.”

Veronica frowned as a tear made its way down his cheek and she wiped at it with her thumb, "It'll be ok," she whispered.

She leaned in, kissing him deeply, pulling him down to rest on top of her. Young Saeng pulled away burying his face in her neck and she hugged him tightly.

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Probably "Sweet Daydream". It was my first longform in years and there's a lot of typo's and cheesiness. I think I'd clean it up, make it a bit tigher and a bit more detailed in some sense and make it not so...needy. Of course I wouldn't redo it, there's a certain nostalgia to it, I like to see my growth, but yeah, I'd make some changes for sure. 

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

I can't say that I have, probably should've lol, but no, I haven't. 

25. What do you look for in a beta?

I don't have one, but I would like one honestly. I'd want them to be honest and trustworthy, but also careful. I'd also want them to be considerate of the work and of the story and characters. 

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I don't, but I want to. I'm too much of a chicken to actually put myself out there though, I don't trust myself to do that for someone else. 

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

Love them, but I'm picky about who I write with, so yeah. 

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I read a lot of stories, I'm not sure I could pick just three. I can say generally speaking, that they usually have great dialogue, flow, they're believeable and have good grammar and all that. I like authors who write as if you were watching a movie. Something that pulls you in from start to finish. I like variety. I don't know that I could just pick three. 

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I could think of a couple, but this one comes to mind first..."Walk Two Moons" by cuppiecakebubblegum, has a special place in my heart. I'd be interested in tackling the sequel if I could. 

30. Do you accept prompts?

I do, but it depends. I am INSANELY picky with what I write, so it'd have to be a certain way with certain limitations. I'm sure no one really wants to give me a prompt lol!

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I have no idea. If we're talking in terms of things that a story must have, it depends. Like if it's a series and everything has to flow or you follow a set of rules, then I feel that I have to stick to it rather diligently in order for everything to make sense. 

32. How do you feel about ?

Love it, write it. Though back when I started years and years ago, I didn't write it because I didn't feel you had to have it to have a good story, I still feel that way. That said, I do enjoy writing it, kind of a bonus for following the characters, they get what they want and you get to see them getting what they want and if done properly, you may even feel like you're expierencing it with them! ;)

33. How do you feel about crack?

It's funny and sometimes I don't mind reading it, but I can't write it. I'm not good at that kinda thing. 

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Hmm not my thing, though I did have one story that I guess kinda bordered on the dub-con side, but I didn't realize until someone brought it up. I can't safely say that I would never write a non-con scene or anything like that, not my style. 

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Probably not, I mean, it'd have to be extensive circumstances, but most likely no. 

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

AFF

37. Talk about your current wips.

My longform Kyu Jong story and my ongoing "Indulge Me" series and "A Night at SM" series.

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

Anytime anyone tells me they enjoy my stories or series makes my day. I've had people tell me they've reread a certain story over and over and it just blows my mind, it's very humbling and keeps me going. 

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I haven't yet luckily, we'll see when it happens I guess.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

I don't do alternative endings, once I finish, I finish. I can't with the summary, I can barely come up with one in the first place let alone change it...pass! LOL! I'm AWFUL with summaries and descrptions, I dread it everytime I post a new story.