하진실 IS READY TO RETURN  

trigger warnings : mentions of a terminal disease, death, act of bullying
↳  hover on jinsil's photo collection for caption/title. this app is a wall of text i apologize in advance :")
↳ the more you refuse to accept the feelings, the deeper it became. the moment you accept it, it will grow out of control.
↳ not sure if it's that bad but putting in trigger warning just for caution also occasional swear words ;;
↳ insp: seola's love shot fancam here, seola in suits, this gif, this assertive scene, cold tomboy trope, be melodramatic's lee eun jung, fruit basket's hatsuharu sohma, shaun's terminal, duality, roses, black and white photos, black cat being a symbol of unluckiness, monsta x's flow, undecided future 
↳ layout insp: minimalistic tumblr layout, tumblr photography layout, just..tumblr
하진실
하진실
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on the surface
 
name. 하진실 / ha jinsil
nicknames.
! 하진, 진 / typical variations of her name called by old classmates, friends and coworkers. / hajin, jin

! 진또, 또라이 / derived from her name, jin, and the korean word crazy/madman, ttorai (또라이). at times they just bluntly calls her crazy. everyone knows inside the sophisticated cover, lies a crazy mess of a girl. most would think she'll hate the name but she's vibing with it which kinda proves why her friends gave the name. it first came up in middle school and schoolmates throughout middle and high school would often use it mostly when talking about her. the group will call her the name in her face though. / jintto, ttorai
 
! 겁쟁이, 배신자, 위선자 / coward is the nickname cheon rinji and co calls jinsil the moment jinsil cut ties with her and her "mean girls". they thought jinsil would take it to heart but even an elephant can tell it barely ruffles her. the nickname echoes no truth as jinsil may be a lot of (negative) things, but she's no coward. they'd also call her a traitor or hypocrite amongst other things. / geobjaengi, baesinja, wiseonja
 
place of birth. busan, south korea
date of birth. 30th december, 1997
age. 22 years old
ethnicity. korean
uality. heteroual 
 
languages. 
! kor / fluent / mother tongue. having born in busan and lived most of her life in tongyeong, the south gyeongsang dialect is thick in her speech. despite now living in the city, nothing can tone down the dialect. she doesn't even try (okay maybe switches to standard when doing business with clients).

! eng / textbook, broken / she knows a thing or two but she's no where near fluent or even intermediate. due to learning it in depth thoughout college, she develop and understanding but she still speaks broken english and will spell words incorrectly. 
 
faceclaim. wjsn's seola
 
appearance.
jinsil has been sporting blonde or fawn colour after highschool. recently however, she dyed it black with gray gradations. jinsil stands 170 cms tall and weighs 55 kgs.
 
style. 
due to jinsil's overall aura that tends to attract even girls, her style will always dub her as an icon of girl crush even if she's in a dress. quite a minimalist and doesn't really wear patterns. she loves monochrome pallete but doesn't shy away from colours. in her school days, she'd mostly wear denim or boxy leather jackets, with high-waisted jeans or simply her older brother's hoodies with black trainers. as she graduated, she fell in love with the minimalism of button down t-shirts tucked in high waisted jeans. click here for elaborated gallery.
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
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점점점 
"can't you smile a little? you're scaring the hell out of him." / "what to do? i was born dead-pan." / "true. but can't you at least try?" / "i have tried. all my life." 
 
junki and jinsil when junki introduced his boyfriend
 
"her words...it was as if she has an unlimited amount of arrows. stick straight and sharp. once it hits the bullseye, it hurts. but you know it's true." / "brainstorming for a new script? infront of the sacred chimaek?" / "no. i'm talking about you." / "huh. try to use boxing terms to describe me next time."
 
hamin and jinsil at a small hwesik 
 
"dad." / "hm?" / "whenever the house feels empty, call me anytime. okay?" / "hmph, you mean when i feel lonely?" / "that too. promise?"
 
jinsil and sunghoon before jinsil departs for busan
 
"seriously! aren't you a bit scared? how can a girl be this fearless? no matter how good you're in boxing, that guy was atleast twice your size—muscle-wise!"
 
muyeol to jinsil when she knocked out a drunk man causing a commotion
 
"ya. ya! eventhough we're the same age, shouldn't you be calling sunbae to me, a senior?!" / "you should act like one before i call you sunbae."
 
a nameless senior and jinsil 
 
"quote/convo here."
 
name and/to name
 
jinsil, who? — ha jinsil. the girl who, despite her pretty face (that people deemed useless and misleading), is a force to be reckoned with. so attached to her skin and heart, she's one who says what she strongly think and feel regardless of time or place or whether the person is of higher status. she's noted to be the cider-type of girl who's in charge of saying the honest truth people are afraid to say. conveyed in a chilled, as a matter a factly manner. she's also one who doesn't conform to other's standards and effortlessly staying true as ha jinsil, unapologetic for being so—in all her dead-pan expressions, quirks and confrontational tendencies.
 
she doesn't shy away from conflicts and arguments involving herself, often willing to get to the bottom of it, even it means hurting some feelings—be it the other person or herself. despite the bold nature of it, this side of her tends to rub off the wrong way as people perceived her as insensitive. heartless. aloof. especially with jinsil always showing an emotionless face. 
 
her aloof trait mainly stems from her inability to express her emotions other than discomfort and anger. while she does receive love and knows what happiness is, jinsil tend to have a hard time showing affections and admiration for others. living with three boys, who fights in the boxing ring or verbally, has somehow toughen her up and having a toxic friend that tend to demand jinsil's tougher side as she grew up, has made her awkward in expressing delicate, heart-felt emotions. thus, she'd often bury these feelings or convey it with a layer of sarcasm. 
 
jinsil also might not be the most smartest in class but she surprises people with a fresh and unique way of seeing the world. she's more invested in new ideas and doing things others never thought of doing. these thoughts of hers caused her to be quite unpredictable, others never really knowing what she's thinking or what her next move might be.
 
junghee's agendas became more outrageous (and fun, honestly) when she puts in her ideas. and while she look like she doesn't give two damns when her friends fight, she tends to find herself racking up better comebacks just for the sake of putting a wet blanket over both of them.
 
being in her inner circle meant her undying loyalty and witnessing a softer side of her. although a little clumsy in giving comfort, she tries hard to pick up her closest's hidden signals of wanting one. her deadpan, honest words might sound a little harsh but are thoughtfully put together for the sake of them. when nothing can be said, however, she'll stay quietly beside you if needed and willing to be your punching bag for a few minutes (she'll definitely set the limit).
 
jinsil may look like she gives no care and irresponsible but her closest will beg to differ. jinsil's not the type to drag people down because of her. group projects, although uncomfortable for her, was something she'll try do to her best in. every promises she utters, she'll make sure she keeps it. she'll come out after a call for a late night sorrowful drink when her closest called and will make sure they arrive home safely by taking them home herself.
 
her stronger traits tend to unintentionally covers jinsil's weaker side. she might have an iron wall in which criticisms are nothing but tiny pebbles that barely scratches her. but there are times jinsil second guesses herself. due to the many bad choices she's made as a child and having used to look up to her edest brother for advice, she'll hesitate around anything that will heavily impact the future.  
 
i'm not a bad or good person. 
loyal, bold, thoughtful, dependable
uninhibited, unpredictable 
confrontational, aloof, deadpan, second guess oneself 
i'm just ha jinsil.
 
phlegmatic-choleric, intp defying the stereotypes, be melodramatic's lee eun jung inspired. 
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
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앗. 그녀가 웃는다.  (tw stated above starts here)
 
prlg. being left
 
ha jinsil has only met her mother in a photo frame. "a beautiful woman like you", her father, sunghoon, always said in her death anniversary. her oldest brother, kidae, would agree while her older brother, junki, would snort as he said, "where in the world is jinsil beautiful?" as junki would receive a pinch on either of his sides from his father and kidae, jinsil would silently agree with him.
 
gong jiyu was beautiful and sacrificial, deciding to have jinsil at her fourties even if it might be dangerous for her age. the amiable wedding photographer, proud mother of two boys and childhood sweetheart of ha sunghoon went into the operation room but never made it out like she promised him. she left a baby girl that'll grow up to be as beautiful as her. jinsil was barely two weeks old when her father decided to pack up and move to tongyeong, her mother's beloved birthplace where they set her ashes to rest.
 
jinsil may not be showered in motherly love but she was never short of the tough love of three ha boys. she'd wake up to loud, urgent knocks on her door in the morning as the boys pass her room in a hurry to go to school. they'd gobble up breakfast, face contorting as they shoved their father's burnt sunny-side up eggs. she'd calmly sit behind kidae as they cycle their way to school while junki ran alongside them grumbling at the unfairness. they'd part with kidae, already a middle schooler, with his parting ment,"pay attention in class and don't fight with your friends!"
 
jinsil had no problem doing what kidae told them especially when she had no friends to fight with. having a naturally dead-panned face and known to learn boxing from her father, children around her were scared of her. she'd seek out junki but he'll tell her to go away when his friends became too invested with babysitting her.
 
"am i scary?" she asked kidae on the way back to school. kidae would smile,"why? did someone say you're scary?" while jinsil was quite a fussy baby, kidae noticed how she resembled her their father in terms of personality as she grew. "jin-a, between you and me, i think dad's scarier." she didn't smile, but the skip on her steps told kidae she's satisfied with his explaination. jinsil came to terms being by herself until she entered third grade.
 
chptr one. growing pains
 
a girl by the name cheon rinji approached her fearlessly then. "you're not scary at all", she said with a high-pitched tone that pierced into jinsil's ears. rinji followed her everywhere with her annoying stories of her father not buying what she wanted, her mother not allowing her to play make up and the father's driver always late picking her up from school. given rinji's obnoxious personality, jinsil should've just decided to stay alone then. but she couldn't help wanting a friend like everyone else. even her family congratulated her for finally making her first friend.
 
she didn't realize, as times passed, how the two became a feared duo in grade school. jinsil had became used to rinji's antics that she didn't notice rinji being slyly manipulative, playing with their classmate's fear of jinsil to gain attention. not until she saw how one of her smaller female classmate gave her the little snack she has with her hands shaking while rinji watched. not until she saw the girl flinching when jinsil returned the snack, "it's fine. you eat it." that was in sixth grade.
 
the moment they stepped into middle school, rinji's want to be in charge and to be feared magnified. the duo became a group of four as rinji made new friends the moment she and jinsil were put in separate classes throughout the years. all with a different venom of their own, instilling fear to the weaker girls and sometimes boys. 
 
jinsil would stop by rinji's class only to see her playing with her latest 'friends'. "stop it", jinsil said one day when they were alone. "the bullying." rinji would pout,"bullying? i was just befriending her. she reminded me of you when you were all alone. friendless." jinsil would look at her long and hard, wondering whether rinji's intention in befriending her was purely because she wants to be friends. "now you have me!" rinji would laugh, linking arms with her. "there's no one that can keep up with me besides you."
 
there were countless more times rinji tried to justify her actions and the more jinsil tried to make her see, she'll pull away angrily. when jinsil kept her distance, rinji will find her and stick to her like glue as if their banters never happened. despite it, jinsil's knowledge of how pressing rinji's life at home is, often pops into her head whenever she felt the need to cut rinji off.
 
with her father busy training an amateur boxer to go professional and often took trips to seoul where competitions are held, kidae took over the chores. and with his college schedule quite tight, he always looked a little tired. jinsil held back talking about school and rinji, helping him as much as she could around the house.
 
"jinsil, are you in?" rinji asked one day. they were planning a birthday party for one of rinji's classmate. it wasn't the girl rinji used to pick on so jinsil tagged along. she didn't picture them to be throwing eggs and flour at the girl. that it was revenge for not giving answers in the exams. she didn't picture kidae passing the alleyway they were in when she was about to stop rinji from doing something worse. she didn't picture kidae looking at her in disappointment and asked,"why didn't you stop them?"
 
with kidae's look of disappointed clearly etched in her head, she started to forwardly stop rinji from bullying others. it wasn't easy as she'll find herself be in the midst of it and the moment a teacher came, she'll be lumped as the ring leader. all because rinji was someone they don't dare to touch, given her father's status as the mayor's men. 
 
it became harder for jinsil to shed the bully title off her forehead. she was already hated on by by-standers, for being a uselessly strong girl who's eating on the weak. she was starting to be hated by rinji. other students from neighbouring middle schools would pick on her as rumours about her spreads. fights would break out then and she saw kidae's disappointment and worry grew when she came home with split lips and scraped knuckles.
 
everything started to go downhill the moment she entered eigth grade. "let's end this," jinsil said to rinji right in front of their classroom. "this friendship or whatever you call it." she was tired of dealing with rinji, the fighting, people's judgemental looks and her family's disappointment, kidae in particular. rinji didn't let her go without a fight. jinsil let rinji and her girls call her names and push her to the wallanything that'll get jinsil off rinji's hook.
 
she came home hoping kidae will finally tell her that she did well. but she arrived to an empty home and 30+ missed calls to her phone that she left. it wasn't long before song hamin, junki's bestfriend and their neighbour, burst in the front door and announced, "jinsil. kidae. he's in the hospital." 
 
chptr two. before you go
 
the remaining year of eigth grade was nightmare to jinsil. she'd visit the hospital frequently only to see her eldest brother getting paler day by day. she could literally see life seeping out. school was just a short ad, full of teachers taking pity on her, allowing her to sleep in class once a while. as news spread about her brother, rinji's catcalling when she's around continued still and she's heard a few heartless by-standers whispering she deserved it. it was a wrong move as jinsil was a ticking time bomb then. a sensitive grenade that'll burst with a tug on its pin.
 
" it," she'll tell them. expression so cold yet her eyes held rage. "tell that to me when am the one who's sick. but this is my brother you're talking about! and he doesn't ing deserve it." she'll be taken by her homeroom teacher afterwards who led her to the counselling room to calm down.
 
she doesn't sleep at home, taking refuge in the boxing gym instead where she doesn't have to see her father looking down, calling families to borrow an amount of money or hear junki being an optimistic robot, spouting how kidae is strong and still young thus has a high chance in defeating the illness.
 
but like how kidae was innately excellent in boxing, the cancer cells in him were also holding on. it came to the point where kidae said,"i'm losing." the ha family knew he was fighting a losing battle: finding out about his disease when it was already taking over kidae's system. while sunghoon decided to follow kidae's wishes, jinsil went angry at kidae for giving up. she forced to accept it, however, looking at how gaunt her father looked too. kidae stopped receiving therapy two weeks before he passed.
 
the two weeks flew by. in a blink of an eye, jinsil was greeting the people coming to mourn her eldest brother. no matter what they said to her or how many hugs they gave, jinsil never said a word nor shed a tear.
 
chptr three. bandages
 
returning to school after a week, scrutinizing and judgemental gaze toned down. while she was gone, rinji's act of bullying still continued and has proved jinsil wasn't the ring leader somewhat. but that didn't matter to jinsil. nothing did matter. she spaced out through the whole day. if it wasn't for muyeol constantly keeping tabs on her—under the homeroom teacher's favour—she'd probably stay like that for quite awhile. his nagging and small paper balls thrown at her to make sure she focused in class got to her. eventually they conversed...albeit, uncivilly. 
 
muyeol's personal assignment naturally brought junghee's mother hen tendencies, taking jinsil under her wings. suddenly, jinsil's gloomy lunch at the edge of the canteen became brighter and louder for her taste. given her reputation, she doesn't let them get close to her much. however, junghee's belief in jinsil being a nice person inside, muyeol's warnings before she jumps in the oblivion and raon's quiet bubble in where she can seek refuge in told her she shouldn't let this companion go. ever.

she took their mix of energy and brought it home to her father who tends to wake up in the middle of the night. she'll find him watching a old tapes of her mother's video diary where kidae was small and strong and healthy. jinsil would sit by her father's side, putting her head on his shoulder as he cried. the many nights she'd wake up and stay beside him caused him to toughen up a little and soon smiled, albeit sadly, while watching the videos.
 
as time went on, jinsil ended middle school with lighter footsteps. she greeted highschool with a better reputation—despite still being the resident tough girl. while the friends talked about dreams, jinsil would stay quiet. her grades were too mediocre to get into top universities and she was definitely one of the students who wrote "whatever" in their sheet of future plans. the counseling teacher always ended up massaging the both of his temples when jinsil entered the counseling room. 
 
"i want to stay in tongyeong," she told him, sparing the counselor from letting out another sigh. "at least for a year." her plan wasn't perfect but she had a rough idea. "would you care to listen?"
 
chptr four. stop-motion
 
while the group dispersed after graduation, jinsil was one of those who stayed back. she carried on the very first plan she's ever made all her life. as being the only child beside her father at the moment, she didn't want to leave her father alone just yet. her father's boxing gym was also short-staffed and lacked the energy it had three years ago. at the very least, she wanted to see her father back into the work he loved so much.
 
for a year, she helped the boxing gym while building up her photography portfolio. her father started to take over soon as he felt he was stopping her from studying for a dream she finally realized. a dream his wife had dreamed but couldn't achieve, being involved in the filming industry. when it was time to leave, it proved quite hard for her but she put in mind that she can come home every weekend. with her father refusing to see her go, shoving her out of the house instead, she left for busan.
 
in busan, she was reunited with junghee and song hamin, who co-owned an independant movie company. she'd pay a visit to her brother in seoul on some weekends and on others, she'd come back to tongyeong—with junghee on the passenger seat next to her.
 
chptr five. bad at goodbyes.
 
...not this time, however.
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
ha jinsil for dummies

how to capture her heart
winter / excluding the fact she was born in winter, she just loves the cold and looking at the winter sea.  
extreme sports, thrill rides / one of the times she will get hyped is when doing something thrilling. extreme sports and thrill rides is one way.
hazelnut or strawberry latte / it'll be very disorienting to see jinsil ordering a very girly order like strawberry latte. but it is what it is. she likes strawberry and hazelnut.
movies / she's very picky about this but it just shows how much she loves movies beyond just watching it. mostly watches life enlightening ones, thrillers and action. doesn't mind from any country.
rnb, hip hop and rock bands / are the genres she mostly listens to fully supports local rock bands and is a certified aomg stan.
black and white photograph / there's something that draws her in the simple yet challenging process of a perfect black and white photo.
 
how to slowly tick her off 
gossips, bad rumours / she'll definitely cancel you out if you start to gossip. she's had enough experience to not gossip or spread rumours herself.
warm food gone cold / it cancels out the joy of eating. she reheats leftovers and will get slightly irritated when delivery food isn't warm anymore.
bitter flavours / just...eck.
cheesecake / actually finds it a mismatched flavour.
promises unkept, bluffing just total b.s. / breaking a promise is something that ticks her off. she beliefs people should take responsibility of uttering the phrase "i promise." and those who claimed they can do this and that without really proving they can do it? infinite eye rolls for them. 
 
notice how she...
...always speaks in gyeongsang dialect. seoul boys that approach her when she visits her brother will always get a whiplash at how pretty she looks yet her speech is quite harsh.
...always make sure to have eye contact when she speaks. 
...replaces swear words with names of tropical fruits unless that person deserves to be cursed at or she (claimed to have) lost control. "life's such a bit-i mean banana."
...crosses her arms when she's confronting someone and put her hands on her hips when she gets very riled up in the process.
...tends to step on her shoes, never really putting her shoes one properly. 
 
in her free time, you can catch her...
...boxing. she doesn't see it as a barbaric sport. she loved the how she feels confident in her moves and it's her number one way of blowing off steam.
...analysing movies' cinematography or watch movies in her room with a tiny projector. something like this.
...playing go-stop.
...photo hunting around busan or farther with her motorcycle. 
 
did you know? jinsil...
...can drive a car and motorcycle. she's been driving her father's boxing team van for a while and has been using motocycle since the second semester of 10th grade. she has license for both! she can also navigate/drive a speed boat due to one of the gym staff who's grandfather is a fisherman, letting her learn it. but has yet taken a test for the license.
 
...has motorcycle she uses as transport around busan. she has taken it to seoul and back to tongyeong a few times but was scolded the moment she arrived by her brother and father. since then she'd take the krl or bus or borrows hamin's car 90% of the time.
 
...has always dreamed to be a female boxer as a child but having grown up and have always involved her fist in teenage angst fights, she deemed herself unworthy of pursuing the sport.
 
...found her new dream of being a photographer and involving herself in film productions around the time kidae stopped receiving chemo. she took pictures and videos in order to bring them to kidae but she never managed to show it to him herself as he was always tired. then she saw the videos of her mother that her father took out for the first time eversince they moved to tongyeong. the perfect angles, point of views, timings in scenes attracted her thus her choice of university major.
 
...is a fan of ma dongseok, jang kiyong and seo yeji.

...has an appetite of a child. she likes sweet snacks and can't really stand spicy food. she also only drink coffee with lots of cream and sugar. 
 
...drinks well but prefers beer and rice wine over soju. also the type to be the last one standing in a college party or company get together.
 
...is very straightforward in text, likewise in her speech, and doesn't use emoji or stickers to avoid misunderstandings.
 
...will use voicenote if needed (and can't—or lazy to—type) but prefers to call.
 
...likes to walk barefooted.
 
...was in the midst of preparing to moving in with junghee (before she passed away) due to the landlord of her current apartment being unreasonable for raising the rent pay.  
 
...has dated shortly with two people: her highschool senior who's a marine office college student who goes to her father's gym (lasted for 3 months, prior moving to busan) and song hamin (lasted for 4 months, broke up a year plus, before the story starts;;).
 
...takes a walk when she needs to calm herself. normally she'd go to haeundae beach at night and walk bare-footed if she can't sleep or has a lot in her mind and it wasn't because of pent up anger boxing can solve.
 
...has not cried ever since she started learning boxing at the age of 6. she doesn't want to be a bluberring mess of a daughter anymore. she's held back her tears since then and as she grew up, she just...suffocates in sadness and tend to detached herself from the world if she's really, really sad. in short, she doesn't know how to cry anymore.
 
JANUARY 25 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
우리 진이, 아프지마...
the ha boys
 
 
성훈
60 years old / father / retired professional boxer
fc: actor kim sangjoong
 
between the boys and jinsil, ha sunghoon may mentally and physically look the strongest, but his children knew how soft his heart really is. he has sacrificed a lot for the siblings and giving up his profession as an professional boxer at 31 was just the tip of the iceberg.
 
jinsil can see how kidae's passing took a toll on him as having to train a rising boxer, he didn't spend much time at home and have kidae took over the house chores and being jinsil's guardian. the regrets her father has sapped all the ambitions he had for boxing. he used to be so proud of jinsil being enthusiastic about boxing and have sparred in the ring. but after losing a son, he hasn't encouraged nor give pointers to her when jinsil take him to spar or when she decided to help out in the gym for a year.
 
despite some progress on bringing her father back to the gym, jinsil was still very reluctant to go to busan when the time came. but her father insisted he will be fine and the fact that he still has his boxing team reassured her if only a little. 
 
 
하준기
26 years old / older brother / game designer
fc: soloist demian (송정혁)
 
ha junki is the brain of the family who acts as if he knows everything—in which he actually does, mostly, and it annoys jinsil at times. they weren't the closest as kids since junki preferred to hit the books and a tech geek while jinsil hit sandbags. growing up, he knows he was far from a perfect older brother like kidae is to jinsil. even after kidae left, he doesn't try to stand in kidae's shoes given how big of a space he needed to fill. but it doesn't take away the fact that he'll always be there for her when she needs it. and jinsil knows that very well.
 
they've grown quite close in the past years as jinsil are one of the few who immediately accepted him as he is. he was definitely grateful he still has her despite their father unable to accept junki's attraction to male. jinsil visits him in seoul once a month in attempt to get him and their father to reconcile at first. but has decided to never touch the topic anymore when she visits. and she knows junki still cares about their father a lot, given how he gave her allowance and told her to transfer 3/4 to their father.
 
하기대 
aged 22 / eldest older brother
 
ha kidae was the strongest pillar of the family. the place where they can lean on to when things got tough. the voice of reason in the family of opinionated people. as the oldest, he carried responsibility of helping his father take care of his siblings. he's described as the neighbourhood's dream son-in-law. the ladies in the market warmly gives him freebies, the elders praises his personality and his fellow college students looks up to him.
 
disappointing kidae was one of her biggest fears and she'd never have thought she'd ended up bringing the fear upon herself. she started fixing herself only to never be able to show kidae the results—having a group of people worthy of being called bestfriends and actually studying to pursue a dream. her mind knows kidae would be proud but her subconcious still feel like she needed closure. but she doesn't know how.
 
whenever it's his death anniversary, she'll go to the small hill near their house where her family planted a tree under his name. she'd bring kidae's favourite drinking companion, squid jerky, if she's in tongyeong. if she couldn't make it back, she'll go off the radar the whole day and go to a quiet part of the beach in busan. 
언니!!!
박수하
20 / college friend / junior @bkc, film image major
fc: lovelyz' ryu sujeong
 

while everyone had the intention of flipping a new leaf, jinsil wasn't that excited doing so. meeting new people and building new bonds wasn't exactly her first priority but apparently it was park suha's. they met at the orientation for their major and the naive-princess-like park suha plopped down next to her, face flushed. "want to be my friend?" to which jinsil simply said,"no".

however, after a series of her seniors putting responsibility on her to take the girl home, jinsil battling with herself whether she should leave suha or help her, suha throwing up the alcohol she consumed and jinsil having to clean up after her, suha has been stuck to her like a glue. despite the attempts of shaking her off, suha still comes to her. "because jinsil is jinsil," suha answered when jinsil asked why she's dead set on becoming her friend. "i've been around...fake people for a while. so i thought, i'd be better off with a person like you."

jinsil cut her slack since then and slowly let her into her inner circle. although not as chaotic as it was in high school, suha's presence sometimes made her miss the group of friends. the duo are known for their flat out honestysuha being the innocent and oblivious of situation type when she's blurting out her opinions.

즐 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
partner in crime
 
좌전문 / 22 / mateys
collab with @yeanoh
 
one would think these two kids will live forever trying to rip each other's throat out given how they started: two ticking bombs who burst out after something trivial and fought each other. they met at their worst phase of life. jinsil with juri and her brother while jeonmun with his mother's divorce. thus, no one expected jeonmun and jinsil to end up being best of friends. learning the pains they each went through, they've cut each other some slack and decided to tackle a common enemy: the tribulations of life.
 
jinsil is the only one to have kept up with jeonmun's egotistical tendencies with a straight face. while jeonmun seemed to have developed a thick skin to counter jinsil's sarcasm. they've kept in contact with each other quite frequently (despite jinsil not realizing it) after graduation that it never felt jeonmun's that far away in seoul. jinsil considers him as a bestfriend and brother (even having to contact his mother at times and acquired a gallery of his hideous photos for blackmailing purposes).
하진아, 우리 그냥 같이 살자!
the mother hen duck
 
이정희 / aged 22 / close friends
fc: lee suji
 
truth be told, jinsil wasn't as close to junghee at first. her bright smile was a little too blinding for her. she was beautiful while jinsil was in tatters, an ugly duckling amongst the group. whenever jinsil trailed back from the group, junghee always looked back and dragged her back into the circle. soon she got used to her warm presence and often one of friends who's always up to junghee's plansat times quietly suggesting an even more outrageous outings. junghee was undeniably one of the biggest presence that made jinsil's day bearable.
 
being in the same college had them build a stronger bond and if junghee's not crashing in jinsil's apartment they were at hers. she'd tag along jinsil's photo hunting trips if she's free and they'd often go back and forth to tongyeong together with jinsil on the wheel. after hearing about jinsil looking for another accomodation, junghee suggested that jinsil should just move in with her. the idea was something jinsil was quietly looking forward to. but now...losing junghee will definitely take her back to the time she lost her eldest brother.
어...안녕
lovers from a previous life 
 
허라온 / 22 / close friends
fc: jung wheein 
 
in the eyes of others, these two doesn't seem to be in a talking relationship. when left alone, neither will talk and are often minding their own business. but in that silence alone, there's this understanding between them that the other's presence is all they needed.
 
their bond solidified the moment raon's grandfather passed. both having felt a pain uncomparable to anything else in the world, being left behind by someone they hold dearly. like how raon stayed beside her when kidae passed, jinsil did the same.
 
raon was probably one of the first person that noticed jinsil's innate photography skills. the photos of the group jinsil took always looked good in her eyes. she'd also drop feedbacks in terms of what she feels looking at jinsil's photos if she has time to visit her online portfolio.
 
but as the comments have been quite seldom these days, jinsil wondered if she's going through a busy period of uni. she heard from junghee recently that raon's having personal issues but jinsil has yet reached out to raon about it knowing that normal questions such as are you okay? wouldn't suffice to get raon to open up and let them help.
난 도착했어! 어디야?
evidence a boy and girl can be friends
 
차은호 / 22 / close friends
collab with @sirius-
 
ask her a thousand times whether she has had the slightest crush on the school's heart-throb, jinsil would flat out say no. he feels too much like her own brother to think anything else. and like real life brother-sister, teasing him with sabin was one of the moments she enjoyed since he's such a fool for his ex-girlfriend back then. they still contact each other often and they'd meet up whenever eunho returns to seoul during holidays. jinsil had asked once about his relationship with sabin but eunho suddenly changing topics caused her to understand things weren't doing well. she appreciated the fact that he soon opened up to her about his break up. 
수고, 친구.
just...friends
 
송하민 / 26 / ex-boyfriend, friends
fc: actor song kang 
 
compared to other boys she's met, hamin was someone she could've fallen deep for. she liked his matured views of the world as compared to the boys she hangs out with (including junki, her brother). hamin treated her like he would to girls he met...and probably seen her beyond just a girl who's a friend. but they've lost their timing of being much more than friends and jinsil lost the timing to form feelings that more than admiration.
 
hamin may have confessed to her a year after she graduated high school and jinsil may have accepted it but it was obvious her was for someone else. they broke up after 4 months dating and stayed friends afterwards, reuniting as a boss and intern in the present.
 
although it's obvious he still harbours feelings for her and is determined to make her regret breaking up with him, emphasizing the term 'friend' when she's around. "oi, chingu."
야,겁쟁이.
honorable mention?
 
천린지 / 22 / ex-friends
fc: actress kang minah
 
cheon rinji was toxic for her but there are times that rinji does keep the loneliness out of jinsil. over the course of middle school and high school, there are times where they pass each other but rinji acted as if they've never met. honestly, it was expected but jinsil can't help thinking things could've ended better. she's heard rinji was doing an apprentinceship at a hair salon in seoul and curiously, she scoured the hair salon of seoul based from her instagram post. from afar, she saw how rinji has changed for a bit and working hard, running here and there. as of now, she doesn't plan to do anything but given the chance, she'd love to close their door of friendship in a better note.
우리 진이!!! 잘한다!!!
honorable mentions!!
 
통영 전설 복싱클럽
23 - 50ish* / father's boxing members and staff
fc: -
 

a group of dependable and supportive men, jeonseol's boxing club members are close to a second family to jinsil and her father. they're tough and strong yet soft-hearted and fun-loving people. their different backgrounds caused jinsil to learn a lot and even more within the year she really got involved in the boxing club. they've developed the defense mechanism to her deadpan statements and often just...hype things up if they're not practicing or working that is. they're forever cheering her on and she's actually a little relieved her father's not always alone because of them.

*50 y.o being the age of the manager and her father's junior. most of the boxing members are around 23-30ish y.o    

우리 진이, 아프지마...
네 생각들에 매번 괴로웠지 그럴 땐 그냥 걷기 시작했어 첨엔 나름 괜찮았어 걷다 보면 좀 나았거든 그렇게 잊혀지나 생각했지 근데 딱 그때 순간뿐이였어 돌아오면 네 생각에 난 다시 숨이 막혔거든 점점 더 멀리 가고 싶어지더라 답답한 맘을 안고 떠나고 또 떠나도 똑같아 그 어딜 가도 내게 다시 돌아와 너는 지울수록 짙어져 매번 떠날수록 알게 된 건 난 결국 너의 곁이란 걸 떠나기 위해 머무는 이 공간과 이미 저 멀리 있는 마음 나도 네게 그런 사람일까 우리는 그런 사랑일까 다들 어디로 오고 가는 건지 어쩜 그리도 전부 명확한지 나만 혼자 답이 없어 어디도 가지 못하거든 머문 자리마다 버려두고 온 너의 기억들인데 다시 또 내게로 돌아와 애쓰는 나를 비웃는 것처럼 그 어딜 가도 내게 다시 돌아와 너는 지울수록 짙어져 매번 떠날수록 알게된 건 난 결국 너의 곁이란 걸 떠나기 위해 머무는 이 공간과 이미 저 멀리 있는 마음 나도 네게 그런 사람일까 우리는 그런 사랑일까 매번 떠날수록 알게 된 건 난 결국 너의 곁이란걸
we were...
scroll on each icons, scroll right for more
plus, rip aesthetic might revert to black and white later ;;
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
can i borrow your shoulder for a second?
 
occupation. freelance photographer (currently halting because of her internship) + junior at busan kyungsang college majoring in film image, currently doing an internship at an independent film production company (that hamin co-owns)
 
daily schedule. 
besides going to classes and internship, her days are mostly unplanned as she's not much of a planner. her classes are conducted in the weekdays with the classes normally packed in the morning sessions except for thursdays in which it's fully booked for her internship. jinsil would wake up around 5.30 am or 6 am and proceed to laze for 15 minutes (or more) before getting herself ready to jog around the neighbourhood. she'll spent about 30 minutes before cleaning herself up to go to classes. most of her classes starts around 7.30 - 8 am the latest and jinsil normally take her time, arriving in classes just 5 minutes before it starts.
 
she'd be present at the company after lunch if she didn't have anymore classes or required to be present for a group project. lunch would be spent with either suha, junghee or hamin or honestly all three with hamin showing off he's the adult between them all and flexing by paying their lunch. she and hamin would go to the company together.
 
currently she's at the last month of her 3-months internship but the head of the company had mentioned he'd like to keep her for an extra month with payment as they are working on an important project and they found jinsil's work very satisfying.
 
jinsil normally gets off the company around 8 pm or maybe even later when she's trying out editing with hamin. if it's around 8 pm, she'd normally try to duck out from company dinners and head for a subway sandwich. she'll try to finish her assignments before turning on her tiny projector for a movie. at times, she'd got dragged by suha or junghee for a nightly outing. at other times, she'd visit a boxing studio to box.
 
she'll often spend weekends in tongyeong if she's free of group projects and help her father's boxing studio. once a month or once in 2 months, she'll go to seoul to simply see her older brother. whenever she's in seoul she'd try to connect with the group of friends if they're up to it. 
 
living conditions.
jinsil lives in a small, one room studio apartment. it's just 20 minutes from university by bus in which she tends to hit it up to 12-15 minutes by her motorcycle. it's only 10 minutes from the film production company. she doesn't have many things around the apartment aside from the necessities fully embracing the minimalist lifestyle at the moment partly because she's saving for cameras and its equipment.
 
what ails you, now..?
 
another beloved soul taken.
her circle of loved ones is small and she's lost much. nothing can ease the ache of losing someone they love, one after another. especially when over the span of two-three years, she got so much closer to the sunshine. people come to her for strength and ask her,"how did you get through this?" but little do they know that despite not shedding a tear in front of junghee when paying her respect, she's an emotional wreck inside. 
 
it's time to let go, now
this isn't her own struggles per say. it's what her family is going through. she doesn't even know she's going through this. but it may be obvious in the eyes of her bestfriends, her father's close friends and junki's close friends. that they all carried this little guilt and small regrets of not paying attention to kidae's health better, for taking him for granted and for not pushing him to live his life the way he dreamed. time passed but her family has been on pause. never fully letting go of kidae and have an attachment to him in their own way.
 
jinsil's form of attachment comes in the regrets of being a disappointment to kidae. she felt that her middle school stunts had greatly impacted kidae's declining health. she has been fixing herself but she's somewhat lost because the one she wanted to show what little she's achieved is not alive anymore. thus she's just getting through day by day, feeling as if she's in the right path only to stare at her ceiling by the end of the day, wondering and wondering if it was something kidae approved of. (i hope this makes sense ;; for reference it's something similar to what moon kang tae of it's okay to not be okay experienced)
 
no hearts break the same. 
their own way of grieving however, caused them to rub off the wrong way with each other especially her father and junki. the fact that they barely talk to each other after his father accidently found out about his uality just last year caused jinsil to try to hold on to each of them until they make up. she knows this will take time but she can't help wanting the three of them together again.
 
honestly? muyeol
for reasons explained in the love interest section, even if muyeol's not suffering from any illness, like kidae, jinsil can clearly see that he's trying so hard to be a steel pillar for his family. despite the shadow of kidae present in her eyes, she wanted to be of some kind of strength to him.
 
a proper goodbye
this is actually the least of her struggles but something she felt like she had to do: properly cutting rinji off. she always felt like their end of a toxic friendship was too abrupt given the years they spent together. thus, if given the chance she'd want to talk it out. not to reconcile. but simply to say goodbye to the first friend she's ever had. but she wonders if it's the right thing to do.
 
jinsil's sos hotline 
jinsil's way of tackling a problem is facing it. she hates having bunched up feelings and overly worrying for a future that may not come. she'd step back for a bit, wrap her mind around it before jumping to solve it. so her closest ones will know of her troubles that she's aware of to an extent. jeonmun, junghee and hamin are the people she mostly turn to and actually talk about it to an extent as they fish it out of her. she calls her family when she's in need of a little assurance. she calls muyeol just so she can get her together. any excess from that will be expressed in the boxing ring.
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
FjzpEUM.jpg
좋아해, 김무열.  
"it is correct to love even in the wrong time."
 
backup. none
 
nicknames.
무 / while other in the group might have called him mu mu, jinsil only calls him mu. he despise this even more as jinsil's version literally meant radish. but she thought it was what it stands for at first so who could blame her. / mu

터미널 / a personal nickname and contact name jinsil assigned to muyeol. he has no idea of this name nor most of their friends. jinsil has always told herself that what she felt for muyeol wasn't the kind of love between man and woman. but no matter where she goes and the flings she got into, she always find herself back to muyeol likewise a terminal
 
date of birth & age. jun 10, '98 & 21 years old
place of birth. seoul, south korea
hometown. tongyeong, south korea
 
nationality. south korea
ethnicity. korean
 
occupation. senior at yonsei university, law major
 
 
 
 
muyeol through jinsil's eyes (honest, unbiased...she swears)
kim muyeol, kim muyeol, kim muyeol. god, that nagging voice he always uses when she slings her bag over her shoulder during self-study. "skipping again? i swear i'm not covering for you this time. you're record's tainted as it is. if you're still leaving, don't take junghee with you." kim muyeol knows best. always by the book. always making sure everything's according to his words. but too bad jinsil doesn't go by anybody's word. ah. she does admit she's been saved by his words sometimes.
 
"who says i'm taking junghee? raon, wanna come?" she liked seeing how his eyes goes wide when she bested his wit. to be honest, because of muyeol, jinsil learnt to come up with much better comebacks and kept on improvising. even as he argued with someone else, jinsil has a comeback ready at the tip of her tongue.
 
but kim muyeol is definitely on another level when it comes to school work. "okay, look." he'll say for the third time, biting the inside of his lips to contain his impatience. he took it as a challenge, making sure a former delinquent can pass exams. "here, y will substitute x and thus..." jinsil would already be lost by then. muyeol wouldn't let her drop her pen though, not when he's still determined.
 
his social skill isn't something to joke about either. she's seen how teachers praised him, how girls shyly puts valentines chocolate on his desk and how boys from different classes recognize him. watching him socialize when they made their way to the canteen (and when their other friends were elsewhere) made her realize just how different they're perceived. it was interesting at the same time it felt...kinda lonely causing her to blurt out,"...you're really popular." he'd show a somewhat knowing smirk. "yeah, well." jinsil would snort. "don't let it get to your head pretty boy. i'm also popular. though, infamously.
 
it envied her a little how he's always on the move to climb higher and bring back medals in forms of success. unknown to him, she found herself trying to keep up with him only to realize just how far he has come. it also caused her to notice how he's rarely taking any rest, making more room for other activities in his already packed schedule. in ways jinsil always finds her way back to him like a terminal, despite the banters and clash of opinions, she hoped he can find a terminal to rest a while. even if it won't be her. 
 
background. @mumu
 
current relationship status. two close friends who can't find the right timing to confirm their feelings yet they depend on each other almost like lovers?
 
 
prlg. ya, kim muyeol.
 
jinsil stared as the man infront of her stirred his soggy udon. they were in a street food tent. she hit him up just wondering whether he was free. it surprised her that a reply came just after a few minutes saying to meet up. usually when jinsil announced she was in seoul, he'll act like he's all busy before finally agreeing to take a breather.
 
she took this as some kind of sign to let out what she's been holding to. still, she was scared. she couldn't phantom why exactly. "you're afraid of losing him if it doesn't go right," hamin had said. right, that. and she knows so well how it feels. losing someone. her biggest fear out of all the little fear she had.
 
but the world seem to always tell her this wasn't the time. the moment she saw him, she noticed the dullness in his eyes and how he looked a little unkept. it was almost a spitting image of how tired her eldest brother had looked. it took everything in her to not run away and come back when he looked better. until she realized, perhaps he had quickly replied to her because she needed some company. jinsil took a deep breath as she willed her voice not to shake, "ya, kim muyeol."
 
chptr one. at my worst
 
ha jinsil and kim muyeol came into each other's orbit in 7th grade. two kids from different elementary schools enrolled in the same middle school. their first meeting wasn't the best, although it might be laughable now. after all, it wasn't every day kim muyeol stepped out the cubicle of the school's boys toilet to see a girl coercing another boy to apologize to her friend. they locked eyes then. jinsil's was gaze intense, despite her emotionless face, challenging him to tell her that she's in the boy's toilet. and he didn't disappoint (jinsil was pleasantly surprised). but jinsil didn't have the chance to fire back as she got dragged out by her (then)friends since a teacher was on his way.
 
and being in neighbouring classes, they kept spotting each other. somehow...at their worst, mostly jinsil's as she's quite infamous. he spotted her doing laps around the soccer field as punishment for being tardy, slipping into the nurse's office to skip class or being the expressionless one in her friends' catfight. she saw him being the ever so bossy type of friend, easily irritable and not to mention the slight judgemental looks he gave her. i'll make sure to stay away from you, was something they've mentally noted.  
 
it was unfortunate however, that they were in the same class in 8th grade and their seats were just separated by a pathway between tables. jinsil remembered how he seemed to be trying to accept his fate and decided to swap with her tablemate, opting for the window seat. each of their actions shouldn't have bothered them as they barely knew each other, but it did. even if just a little. perhaps because muyeol's used to be liked and jinsil again realizing how much her presence it dislikable. they touched upon the topic when they were put together for a group project.
 
muyeol was chosen as their leader then, in a group of four members. they sat together as muyeol quickly divided works. it was a rather uneventful process except how jinsil just sat a little further away and accepted whatever he said. he called out to her, after the group disperse to go home,"i know you don't like me but at least try to be involved with the others."
 
jinsil took it as he's trying to make sure she does her part. group projects aren't jinsil's thing despite that she actually does what she's told, even if it's not up to expectations. of course, muyeol doesn't know that. yet. "one. don't worry your pretty face, i'll do the work," she said non-chalantly. "and two. i don't like you. you don't like me." jinsil clenched her jaw after stating that fact, adding,"neither does the others in this school." it was a double-edged sword to jinsil. besting out muyeol and giving herself a scratch. if muyeol saw that, he didn't say anything. jinsil was glad he didn't reply. she wouldn't know what to say.
 
like other classmates in their class, muyeol had the front seat watching jinsil turning her back on her only and overly toxic friend. he let her go that day, for once not bothering her to do her part of a group work. it was the first time muyeol (or anyone in the school really) gave her a benefit of the doubt especially after she unknowingly left her part of the project at his desk—despite the tattered condition it was in. 
 
given how jinsil had no friends, for awhile, no one knew the fact that her eldest brother has been hospitalised and might not survive the fight. but her classmates knew something was up since she's become a little sensitive and a few teachers have been letting her sleep in class. muyeol was one of the first to know a gist of it before the news spread.
 
they saw each other infront of the hospital muyeol's father worked in. jinsil leaving to go home for the day and muyeol dropping off something for his father. the very hospital kidae got admitted to. the tiredness and pain clear in her eyes and her shoulders lacking its squareness, muyeol could literally she holes in her iron wall that he blurted out,"are you okay?"
 
it was probably the first time someone, outside her family, to ask whether she was okay. they always expect her to be a girl who owned and knock her problems down. always sees her as the cause of problems. she thought muyeol judged her the same. but perhaps it was because they were standing infront of a hospital, that the question naturally formed.
 
they stood there in silence a few seconds too long for muyeol before jinsil said,"define okay." before either can speak another word, jinsil's father exited the hospital and listed everything he needed jinsil to bring back to the hospital, never noticing the presence of muyeol due how sleep deprived he was. once he was gone, jinsil turned to muyeol. somehow regretting her answer earlier, the words "not okay" at the tip of her tongue. but she simply walked away, muyeol's eyes hard on her back.
 
fast forward, they were back to where they left off. this time jinsil stood infront of him clad in black. eyes dark. too deep to reach. she noticed him in the midst of their classmates who paid respects for her eldest brother. his eyes asking her the same question he asked a few months back. not okay, not okay, not okay.
 
he tried to make sure she was present in the midst of the living. partly because their homeroom teacher entrusted him to, having been in the same group for a project (and that jinsil had actually done well in it). as he didn't want to look irresponsible, he did his best even unintentionally bringing junghee, raon and the others with him.
 
she glared at him countless of times as he ruined the gloomy bubble she wrapped herself in. but muyeol didn't mind, her eyes were starting to come back to life. he might not have done something right in her eyes but he can see her adapting to the present again. eventhough he wasn't sure if she was healing.
 
chptr two. something's wrong
 
jinsil came to know muyeol was looking after her at the request of the homeroom teacher around the last day of eigth grade. the teacher had called her and was satisfied at how she actually answered the exams and muttering,"kim muyeol did his job well" in between. all sort of emotions crashed into her then the biggest of all was confusion and the realization that she must have looked very pitiful that muyeol had to keep tabs with her eventhough he doesn't like her.
 
that afternoon, the group decided to go to karaoke to celebrate the last day of school. jinsil had trailed back a bit and muyeol, noticing her slowing down, looked back and told her to hurry up. "why...do you—and them—keep doing this? keeping me company? always including me in your plans?" she asked instead, eventhough she knew the answer to it already. "i should've been fine by myself. besides, you don't like me."
 
kim muyeol felt like he should lie but by the look in jinsil's face, she knew. "the homeroom teacher asked me to look after you," he answered truthfully. "but i think i would've done it even without him telling me to."
 
for the first time, jinsil didn't have any comebacks to spare. she was already prepared to spit out the fact that she didn't need their pity. it quickly evaporated at his words. even more as muyeol chuckled,"and. i guess i did seem to not like you. i may have judged you, too. but i never said i didn't like you."
 
maybe it was because of the time ticking into the golden hour or the fact muyeol has rendered her speechless or perhaps...it was because of the damned pretty features of muyeol himself, jinsil saw him in a different light. his potrait too perfect to not capture permanently. one, two, three—she was ripped away from the imaginary filter as junghee popped up and drag the two towards the others who waited.
 
golden hour, she concluded that night before she slept. having to live with boys all her life, a boy's presence hardly sway her and the only admiration she had was towards song hamin, junki's bestfriend and their neighbour. but that too, had somehow faded as she grew ignorant of the feelings what with the happenings in eigth grade.
 
although...kim muyeol. gosh, kim muyeol. despite him being bossy and so by-the-bookby-his-bookjinsil found herself taking in his words and start to think about his warnings even as she ignored it. nineth grade was the time jinsil got to know more about the group of friend, growing closer and fonder of their company. muyeol's existence piqued her curiousity the most though. silently, she took note about him and never realizing how this stems from a supposedly harmless teenage crush.
 
high school was the period where she came to terms that she likes him and that it was something she should bury deep, deep inside. while they were all close friends, jinsil can't help noticing how junghee, muyeol and raon were close knitted. after all they did know each other since elementary. but envy surfaced when muyeol and raon argues, she noticed muyeol simply enjoying the exchange. it caused her to feel disgusted at herself for feeling that way towards friends that helped her get through each day with a lighter note.
 
she decided to forget about the crush thensometime in second year of high school, being in the same class again as muyeol. from her seat, head resting on the folded crook of her arms on the table, she let herself stare at muyeol's focused back. she confessed quietly then and there with her eyes. with a last fond look, she closed her eyes as if to bury the image of muyeol back at the end of eigth grade deep inside. probably even deeper then the sadness she felt for kidae.
 
chptr three. blue hour
 
albeit, for muyeol, high school was the moment he started to put a term on his feelings toward jinsil. while he found resemblance in how he felt with raon, jinsil's presence was also a stark difference to it. she was always getting under his skin, often dragging the group of friends into something reckless. like the time she'd borrow a speed boat from one of her acquaintance and take them to the open sea for a swim, one summer.
 
he always has an eye on her just to make sure she doesn't get in trouble. and having her always in his line of vision, her hidden charms surfaced too. the fact that she has an appetite of a child or the awkward pats she give and her look of unsureness whether she's doing it right when one of them needed comfort or how bold and cool she looked in the ring or when protecting her circle. it was junghee who made him realized the restlessness he felt whenever jinsil disappeared from his radar and his irritation in her slow take for the futurein which they always ended up fighting about.
 
"i could never have imagined," junghee said. in which muyeol responded with,"what?"
 
junghee whispered to him then,"that i can see you having a crush on a certain jinsil." muyeol realized truth in junghee's words when he went to apologize for not being supportive of her future.
 
jinsil texted she was at the port when he asked, on her acquaintance's boat where the group of friends watch the sunset sometimes. he found her drinking strawberry milk and a bag of marshmallow next to her. it caused him to chuckle as he removed bag of the marshmallow, setting it on his lap, as he sat next to her. "what are you doing here?"
 
"waiting for blue hour," jinsil said without looking at him. jinsil, who always made sure to keep an eye contact when she speaks, didn't look at him. while muyeol thought it was because she was still pissed at him, jinsil was simply avoiding looking at him in case a certain emotion resurface. "do you why it's called blue hour?"
 
"because the colour blue is prominent?" muyeol guessed. jinsil clicked her tongue as she reached for a marshmallow.
 
"kim muyeol knows all," jinsil muttered. "ah, i take it back. kim muyeol doesn't know ha jinsil's plan for the future."
 
"ya—" muyeol started before it dawned to him that she had a plan. "wait, you have a plan?"
 
"to get you, the homeroom teacher, and the counseling teacher off my back, yes." jinsil finally turned to him, the last of bits orange sunset reflecting from her eyes caused the determination in it seemed fiery. "i'm staying here for a while. help dad. for a year, maybe. then i'm taking a major in filming related."
 
beautiful and scary, was what the people around him said about her. eversince he's known her and up till this moment, muyeol can only agree on the beautiful part. there was nothing scary about tough ha jinsil who loves strawberries."sorry, for being pushy. all of you supported whatever my decisions for uni. should've done the same thing with you."
 
jinsil turned her sights back to the disappearing sunset. the blue now soothing the redness slowly. she was sure she wouldn't have the time to do this as they'd be busy with college exams soon. she was glad they didn't fight for once and that muyeol didn't say anything else as the blue hour started. they sat cross legged, knees brushing. "ya, kim muyeol," jinsil spoke up in the silence.
 
muyeol, who had a confession at the tip of his tongue, froze. did she catch on? "yeah?"
 
jinsil cleared as she said,"tha-thanks."
 
"what for?" muyeol gaze at her side profile, how tranquil in looked in the blue light. so tranquil that he was afraid that he'll mess it up. the words he planned to spit out was swallowed back.
 
jinsil's face broke into a rare, small smile. a tad bit melancholic but a smile nonetheless. it made muyeol certain that he shouldn't be confessing right then and there. "just...everything."
 
while junghee or (probably) others can see they have buried feelings for each other, neither jinsil nor muyeol can clearly pinpoint what the other feels thus, the many hesitations. at the moment, distance and their own separate lives kept them from pondering deep on their feelings. but jinsil realized as she broke up with hamin, the feelings she buried just became engraved rather than forgotten. it came to the point where they saw each other again in seoul just last year, jinsil visiting her brother, she wasted no time to rekindle the flame.
 
eplg. us, right now
 
jinsil saw through him. he doesn't know what gave it away but she saw that he was pretending to be strong. he can tell she was a tad bit mad."i better not hear news of you collapsing anytime soon," she said when they parted ways, she was going back to busan tonight. his hand reached for his phone and made it through his list of contacts.
 
normally, he'll call raon but at the moment his thumb hovered over jinsil's name. before he tapped the phone icons, her name appeared on the screen. he immediately picked it up. "i was just guessing but you're really awake."
 
it was almost 3 am, he glanced at the clock. when he didn't say anything jinsil continued. "i meant what i said tonight, muyeol."
 
that's when it hit him. why she snapped before she left and why she said what she said. her brother. she could see through him because she's seen her eldest brother acting the same. pretending to be strong. if she was beside him at the moment, he'll probably lost it and give her a tight hug even if she'll push him away. "hajin, i'm..."
 
notes.
i'm leaving the epilogue above open as i'm a little hesitant to fully control muyeol's feelings as he's you're character (since in his app junghee and raon are the only ones to have known about his father)! but how i pictured their overall dynamics are like above and honestly, i planned to have muyeol open up to jinsil little by little in the few months before junghee passed ;; 
 
ending. still undecided on my part but who wouldn't want a happy ending for her or them (all)? :)
 
relationship trivia
kim muyeol / jinsil has developed a habit of calling him by his full name besides calling him mu. kim muyeol. ya, kim muyeol!
 
boss, dad / she may not be the one to officially assigned this by calling him by the name first. but she does have a little influence to it as she has muttered under her breath,"okay, dad."
 
strawberry maniac / the first time jinsil ordered strawberry latte infront of the group of friends, muyeol couldn't help but laugh. it just threw the stereotype he had for a tough girl like jinsil to drink anything but a pretty strawberry latte. even now, he'd still chuckle and sometimes throwing a phrase,"cute" that sent jinsil sending a glare at him when inside she's all wtf? why is he saying that?
 
engraved / muyeol probably realized by now that jinsil is still isn't over her brother's death. that it was deeply engraved and jinsil's just surviving, living with it. after all, she never really did cry for him. eventhough everyone grieves differently, tears were only natural.
 
change of dreams / muyeol was lowkey glad jinsil didn't pursue boxing. while she really does look cool, he'd hate seeing bruises on her.
 
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
if this is the last time...

 
are you ready to return to tongyeong? why or why not?
if this was a question for another day, jinsil would snort and point out she never really left. but the sky outside was overcast and the heart breaking news still rang clearly in her ears."yes." jinsil felt no need to explain herself. she needed to see junghee for the last time.

did you keep in contact with any of your friends in the group? if yes, who did you keep in contact with? if no, why didn't you keep in contact with your friends?
"yes. i talk to junghee and jeonmun almost everyday." she paused, realizing she'll have to use the past tense for everytime junghee's name comes out. "i contact eunho and muyeol quite often too. i text raon sometimes."
 
what were you doing when you received the news that junghee passed? 
"i was about to have brunch with hamin." jinsil's jaw clenched in the memory. junghee was gone and she was looking at menus, thinking what to eat. she hadn't recovered any appetite since then. "muyeol called." she remembered missing it once as it was on silent mode. she had a class earlier. "he asked where i was." she was supposed to accompany junghee. they'd usually go together whenever one goes back to tongyeong. she was the one who was supposed to drive. but it turned out her class wasn't cancelled. "then..." jinsil stared blankly the person asking her these questions. "he dropped the news."  
 
is there anything you wish you would have told junghee before she died?
"what would that matter now?" she asked back, almost snappy. wishing wasn't her thing despite having caught herself doing it a couple of times. and with junghee, she believed she never hold anything back. even the fact that she's grateful—vaguely. she took a breath and exhaled. thank you, thank you, thank you. "it wouldn't matter now."
 
what is your favorite memory with junghee?
it wasn't something fun and happy. but it told jinsil that junghee was that friend she needed to keep close. "she tailed,"jinsil paused, a ghost of a smile on her normally deadpanned face. she remembered how she caught the girl tailing her that day, hiding behind a streetlight with a sheepish smile. "she followed me to my elder brother's, kidae, favourite spot in tongyeong. it was a loud visit. but she brought him flowers which i couldn't bring, talked about me skipping classes and she...thanked him for raising me as i am." jinsil felt her heart start to weigh down, her sight becoming unusually blurry but she blinked a couple of times and cleared . "anything else?"
 
what would you say is your way of coping with stressful and emotional situations?
"boxing." jinsil clasped her hands together, itching to get the knotted feelings in her chest. "afterwards, i'd try to get to the bottom of it...if possible."
 
is there anything you'd like to tell your friends? 
jinsil felt she has to say something sappy or heart-tugging as an answer. but the words were foreign for her tongue."...i've never said this to all of you. thank you for getting me through day by day back then."
 
if you were asked to stay a few more days, maybe even a week for your friends, would you be willing to stay?
"yes." she wondered if any of them would want her to stay with them. she knows she isn't one of the best people to seek comfort in. she thought of muyeol as she absentmindedly added, "i've never actually left tongyeong anyway.he might not ask, but i'll probably stay anyway...for junghee.
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
zelodegrees. kyu. 80.
turn in. back to story. cheatsheet.
 
comments/questions/suggestions. aaaaah, i'm sorry for the long read. i tried to make it short but alas ;; but i hope you, uh, found something in her to love. she's struggled a lot as a child, thus her struggles as of now is simply the after effects of it. i meant to have her as the person that'll support the grieving friends at the same time realizing that she's the one that needs to cry out the grief the most. if that makes sense...
 
also sorry for the lack of aesthetics and colours ;;
 
scene requests. jinsil finally crying all her grief out for her brother for junghee...just for everythings she's lost.
password. "remember when junghee thought she found juice in my fridge and it turned out to be fermented raspberry my father's boxing member gave? if it wasn't for junki stopping us we'd all be drunk by then."
JANUARY 12 / 123 NOTES / REBLOG
jinsil.jpg
아 진짜요.
ha jinsil / 301297
22 y.o / korean
 
 
 
 
 

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peakachu #1
beautiful (●ω●)
sirius-
#2
i approve of this concept with seola :3
leehangyuI
#3
WAIT WHAT IS THIS
tbhddaeng
#4
seola and a boxer ?? that's honestly so hot omg ;^;