It's been 3 days since I found out Exo's Chen is getting married and has a baby on the way and I'm not over it. I'm bittersweet about it and I barely could eat but I discovered somethings as I was with my thoughts and tears late night (lol don't come for me).

I didn't realize I was in my own bubble, my own fantasy until this news came out and it's a hard pill to swallow but definitely needed and eye opening.

I also realized that companies need to stop branding them as "our boyfriends" meaning only for fans, fandoms.

It's very bad and not good for both idols and fans. On one hand, fans will fantasize and convince themselves they (idols) are only for them, not allowed to date or married cuz they bare for fans. And it's not good leading them on like this.

On the other side, the idols are stuck and probably suffering from this limitation of just being in the spotlight and they cannot date. Just make music, dance, and satisfy fans but not get their happiness.

I think this should be a message to all fans that they are just as human and we are, and who are we to deprive them of having a partner just like us non-celebrities?

I'm slowly getting better, coping with it and I'm totally glad for this wake up call.

Please don't send mean comments to me because I've been struggling to come to terms with it but the more I think about it, I'm comprehending.

I also feel silly for having this idea. Like why are you crying over someone who wants yours to begin with (like physically and stuff)

With that said, I'm happy for the couple and I learned from this to not do it again and treat them as humans (all idols).

Yup...

That's it ...

( I need a breather from my own thoughts. It's depressing and yes I'm crying)