Hello everyone! Today is Beast/Highlight's tenth anniversary, which also marks ten years of me being a K-Pop fan. It's honestly surreal that this day has finally arrived. I've thought about this milestone and how I was going to write this post for who-knows-how-long leading up to it, but now that it's actually here, I don't really know what to say. So I guess this'll be word vomit for the most part, which I apologize for. Hopefully there's some semblance of coherence, but I guess you guys reading this can be the judge of that.

My K-Pop journey started when a close friend of mine from middle school showed me the music video for Bad Girl by Beast after school one day. Before that, I really didn't know much about K-Pop. I just knew that my friends really liked it and they were obsessed throughout seventh grade. They would write the names of various groups and idols on their PE shirts, and sing and dance to the songs during lunch and after school. I didn't try to understand the hype, since I was undergoing a lot of academic stress at the time. Seventh grade was when I started spiraling into depression and developing anxiety. It might sound silly, but I wasn't doing well in Algebra Honors. For the first time in my life, I wasn't getting an A in a class. Coupled with "friends" bullying me because I wasn't one of the popular kids and my parents taking away anything that made me even the slightest bit happy, the fact that I was doing poorly in a subject that I used to believe I was good at was a difficult pill for me to swallow. I have very traditional Asian tiger parents who had extremely high expectations of me, especially since I am the first child, and this was the beginning of a very dark period in my life during my adolescence and young adulthood.

In eighth grade, school life was easier for me which led me to believe that I was back on top, academically. I was also doing well in my extracurricular activities and things were looking up for me in my last year of middle school. So, in October 2009, when my friend asked me to stay after school for a little bit before I walked home, I decided I could afford to spend an extra ten-fifteen minutes to hang out with her. And that was retrospectively one of the best decisions I have ever made, because that was when I first watched the Bad Girl MV. I'll be honest, it didn't capture me right away. At the time, I didn't really understand the appeal of K-Pop. (I'm not kidding when I say I really didn't know anything about the genre back then. At the time, I thought Fahrenheit was Korean, not Taiwanese, and G-Dragon was a group, not a person.) What happened that afternoon was that I watched the MV, made a few neutral comments about the Beast members' clothing and dancing, and then talked to my friend until she left before I walked home.

It was very simple. That night, I couldn't stop thinking about the music video and I searched it up on YouTube to watch it again. And every night after that, I would watch it at least once. And I started falling for these boys without even knowing it. Doojoon and Kikwang became my biases, and I have loved them ever since. After that, I watched Gee by SNSD, which was my first exposure to girl groups. And after that, I watched Wedding Dress by Taeyang and I learned to play that song on the piano. I would play it whenever I needed a break from practicing my competition repertoire. I soon branched into other groups after my friends found out that I was beginning to listen to K-Pop, and it was so much fun for me to learn new groups and discover new music. I found a lot of happiness in watching music videos, learning the dances, and singing along to the songs, even though I didn't know what any of the Korean lyrics meant. K-Pop became my source of comfort during hard times and the music made the long, sleepless nights of studying bearable. I don't think I would have been able to pull as many all-nighters as I did during high school and university if I hadn't had K-Pop to keep me company and help me stay awake.

I basically fell down a rabbit hole that I haven't been able to emerge from since. Throughout my ten years as a K-Pop fan, I have experienced two generations of K-Pop (second and third) and the fourth generation is starting. I have watched groups rise and fall in popularity. I have watched groups debut, go through lineup changes, and disband. I remember a time before EXO and BTS, the giants of the third generation. I remember when SNSD was the nation's girl group. I remember the height of the Gee and Sorry Sorry crazes. I remember when Season Two of We Got Married was airing with three of the most iconic on-screen idol couples (Jo Kwon & Gain, Yonghwa & Seohyun, Nichkhun & Victoria). I have seen a lot of amazing things happen in the K-Pop sphere, but I have also witnessed several tragedies that I wish had never happened.

To RiSe, EunB, Jonghyun, Minwoo, and Sulli, you all are missed. We wish the world had been kinder to you all. You were taken from us too soon. Please shine bright as you watch over us all as twinkling stars in the galaxy.

K-Pop has a lot of ugly parts (corrupt idols and agency officials, fanwars, lack of mental health support, etc.) that I wish didn't exist. But K-Pop also has a lot of beautiful parts (the music, the community, charitable deeds, etc.) that should be celebrated. It's a music genre like no other and it has been amazing to witness the growth of Hallyu over the past ten years. I never would have imagined that it would develop from an extremely niche market into something so global. Every group, from the first generation (H.O.T, Shinhwa, g.o.d, SES, FinKL, Turbo, etc.) to the second generation (there are too many for me to list) and to the third generation (once again, too many for me to list), has made an impact on the industry and paved the way for future groups to flourish.

K-Pop will always be an important part of my life. I have met and become friends with so many wonderful people because of this music genre in high school, university, work, and AFF. K-Pop got me through my lowest points in life and gave me numerous irreplaceable memories. It has led me to dozens of valuable experiences that I never would have considered if I hadn't been a K-Pop fan. I was an immature teenager when I first started liking K-Pop and I'm honestly still an immature young adult, but I'd like to think that I've learned a lot and matured some as I grew up alongside these idols. Granted, I am nowhere near as successful as they are, but I'll get there one day. We all will.

I would like to take a moment to thank Beast/Highlight for everything they have done for the K-Pop community and for me.

To Doojoon, Kikwang, Yoseob, and Dongwoon, thank you for lighting up my life with your music and for showing me that the world is a beautiful place to live in. I am so grateful to exist in the same era as you and I will never forget your monumental impact on my life. Even though these past ten years have been filled with so many ups and downs, you have persevered through every challenge and come out stronger than ever. You showed me that I can make my dreams come true if I keep trying, even when it seems like the world is working against me. Failure is just a stepping stone to success. As long as we keep walking forward with our heads held up high, we can achieve anything. Please take care of yourselves while you continue serving in the military and Lights will be waiting here for you once you're discharged. No matter what, we will always be by your side and we will always support you. Let's continue for another ten years and even more past that.

If you read this entire thing, thank you. I hope K-Pop has been as special for you as it has been for me. I would love to know what your K-Pop journey has been like in the comments below, since every person's experience is unique and worth sharing. :)