I just want to say it. Writing is hard, haha. Yeah, yeah, it is also great but idk, I think I'm pressuring myself with word counts these days. Damn them. I have to go back to a state of mind that doesn't care about how long a story is, but rather just enjoys writing it. 

It's so hard, though. When I want to have a great story that has some flesh and some great characters and a plot that isn't too rushed. Yet I still keep thinking word counts and that's the worst. 

I have stories I genuinely like in less than 2k words so why do I feel like this story needs to hit a certain word count before it's any good? 

At one point I thought of posting chapter 1 to maybe get myself excited about actually posting but I am scared I'll rush the story or never finish if I do publish before it's finished. I also want the story betaread because it's my first story in like ... uh, 6 months? More? 9 months? I don't know. A very long time, it feels. 

And I guess I'm a little scared it won't live up to any expectations. 

Whose expectations I don't know because I don't really have a lot of readers and writing the genres (and ships) I do don't necessarily get you a lot of readers either. So I have nothing to worry about. 

It . Writing is hard. 

Bye word counts and bye pressure. 

This story is for me.