A place to rant all my thoughts, really. 

1) my physiotherapist is super cute and it's so annoying when you're trying to be super serious about your back injury but also like - he's really ing cute. goddammit. 

2) my back injury . i really hope the physio works but my goodness, when he tries to release the tension in the muscles they just go !!!!!!! NOPE and it hurts so bad. did my exercises today, my back ing hates me and i have to do this for the next week, so im really hoping it works. also - conclusion; the doctor who first checked it out lmao. (also, it's been like 1 and a half years after the injury without me doing anything so eeeh, it's kinda my fault lmao)

3) i twisted my ankle so yay, that hurts too. 

4) vets are mighty expensive and the cat has me worried more often than not. not in financial struggles or anything, just feeling like a total crazy momma who calls the doctor at the slightest bit. one of those "drag your kid to the ed for a small cut" kinda moms except this is a cat and i would never do that to my child because there are a lot of things i could spend my time on that isn't waiting in the ed. 

5) my perfectionism hates me and it's draining me of energy at work. new job, new colleagues, all good - so i accidentally create this reputation of "knows it all" in a good way (everybody expects me to just do things) and im okay with that, because i actually do know how to do most of the things and i've gotten compliments on how it seems like i've been at the department for years even though it's been two months. point is; this reputation has caught up with my perfectionism and now i'm afraid to make mistakes and asking questions makes me feel dumb lest the reputation shatters and breaks. that . (ain't nobody would really care tho, we all make mistakes and ask questions)

so yeah, that's it. im lonely and can't wait for things to open so i can do things and meet new people. also - pls pray for my back (lmao jk).