Hey...

Unfortunately. I don't know how to love myself ...

My childhood was very abbusive and lonely .. I was punished to behave like me... i was forved to behave the way it is good for my society..i could never say i want to eat ice cream .. i was forced to be an obedient child child.. i was taught to put my head down in all the cases... When i did something good people criticsed me instead of complimentining me... Now i am suffering from lack of self confidence.. people taunted me for every single breath i took .. i don't when can i love my self back...i was suicidal ... i self harmed myself .. every time i wanted to express myslef i was suprressed and i always ended up hurting myself ...  But still i struggled , i lived ... but i still cant get hold of my feelings.. Even things are beautiful around me .. i dont know how to be happy.. i find it difficult to see the happiness .. i try to see the negative outcomes first...  I keep on expecting from people to talk to me.. To spend time with me..to help me.. but never can i ask people for help... I dont know why.. I force myself to be happy .. down the lane ..i feel like ripping myself..... Don't till when will i be like this.. When can i see things which are good instead of looking at the negative side.. iBut i will still fight till end.

So this is a request to all my fellow aff mates...

Keep strugling.. Now matter what... Ask for help... Even though people laugh at you telling "what is depression, we don't get things like that".. DOnt loose hope... There may be someone to help you.. if not anyone .. help youself... Try your best to love urself...

That is the best way u can see lights in ur dark world...