Hey guys,

I've been feeling a lot better. I don't know if I'm lying right now or now but yeah I'm getting along well with people.

Everything is keeping me busy lately and I maybe had found something I love to do althought it's a little too suffocated.

Maybe I'm getting better,

The time I depressed is decreasing,

The time I feel sad is decreasing,

The time without someone I cherish is decreasing,

......

But sometimes,

my heart aches painfully,

the loneliness gets me when I'm lower my guard,

the enxiety is always searching for oppurtunity to break through.

Every day is a struggle in my head but I think because I hide it for so long I don't know how to show it with my behaviour.

I'm getting slow and plain, my reaction and emotion is faded.

I become awkward in expressing myself.

But I wanna live,

I wanna live

I wanna live and see another star.

It's fine I guess, I have been living like this for 20 years maybe I will be okay to hold it for another 20 years.

Ahh~  I really helpless and worthless.