Lol, this is almost a month late into the year but I was so busy the last few weeks that I didn't really have a chance to think about New Years Resolutions until today anyway. I think I speak for quite a few people, especially those of us in the States (meaning, I speak more so for those of us in the States because that's really all that I can vouch for, since I can't speak for other countries) but 2017 was a year for the most part. 2015 and at least a portion of 2016 had been somewhat progressive years (until Donald Trump had to everything up), but it honestly feels like 2017 took a step backwards. Some many horrible things happened this past year, from natural disasters (which, despite some people's warped theories, Donald Trump was not responsible for) to raising tension between foreign countries (which Donald Trump is responsible for), mass shootings and terrorism attacks, and the possibility of the internet getting ruined. It . It still (i.e. living in fear of a ty President who, because of their lack of a ing filter on social media - which is seriously ing stupid - can cause the next world war, making all of us even slightly paranoid that a nuclear attack could happen at any given moment and we wouldn't even have a chance to prepare properly). But, maybe this year won't as much.

I've seen a lot of positive videos on youtube and posts on wanting to make this a good year, to make it a positive year, a progressive one. And, while I'm an INTJ-A and therefore one of the most pessimistic types, we are also still one of the most optomistic types as well (INTJ's are complex beings, we're walking contradictions, it's best not to ask something you may not be able to grasp, lmao). We see all of the horrible for what it's worth, but also see what could possible be great , and usually have the mentality to go for those things.

I ended 2017 with a bang. I quit my ty job and made the plan to move out of state (which I was going to do anyway, but two months later than now) to go to college one more time and this time I am determined to walk out of their with a diploma in my hand and career in my future. I'm going to Nursing school starting in May, but I'll be moving in just a few weeks to a different state to get a job and then again in April to the state I'll be going to school. The program is exactly 12 months long and I'll be an LPN by the end of it, and maybe almost triple what I could make anywhere now, working just part-time. I'm looking forward to it, honestly. I'm sick of being broke, I'm sick of feeling like I'm going absolutely nowhere life and doing nothing. I'm ready to make something of myself that isn't retail and failed writing escapades.

Which brings me onto my next topic: my writing.

I'm not going to do what I did the last two years and give myself giant goals that I likely will never accomplish. This year is going to be my year of low expectations.

I don't mean that in a bad way, truly. I simply mean, I am not going to give myself high expectations with the goal of accomplishing those, but I'll give myself lower expectations, because then anything I do above those expectations are already extremely better than what I had intended. We sometimes get caught up in wanting to do our absolute best that we don't think about the fact that we can fall short. If we do set goals that don't require us to do our best, but still do our best, then the end result is an excellent turn-out and we can therefore be happy. If we don't expect to get everything we set out to do done, then we can't be disappointed when we don't.

I know that's probably a weird motto to live by and I'm not explaining it nearly as well as I would like to, but basically I'm setting myself up for accomplishment rather than disappointment. This is a new concept I'm going to try out of the year and see how it goes. Could fail miserably, but hey, that's the worse that could happen. Of course, I'm a capricorn and the year of the rat, and an INTJ so this motto might die out rather quickly when my overachiever and OCD type personality takes over.

But cheers!

Anyways, that probably made no sense to some of you, and that's okay. I'll just go ahead and move on to what I said I was going to talk about next, and that is my writing. Like I was saying, this year I won't give myself a ton of goals to get through. I'll have a lot going on this year, especially starting in May, but I don't want to let writing, which I do love doing even if it's a love-hate relationship the majority of the time, go downhill because of that.

My goal this year is to finish The 7th Sense and at least start posting Angel (book two in The 7 Senses series) as well as finish The Devil's Sons and start at least one or two more Seventeen fics. I know last year was their year, 2017, but truthfully, to me every year is Seventeen's year and I'm going to make sure that shows within my writing. They are my ult group and I am so ready to give them so much love this year and just spend it with them in mind, encouraging all of us Carats and doting on us and being the perfect dorky dumb kids they are. I've never related to a group more than I have related to Seventeen, and maybe that's because I'm the same generation as them (millennials bruh), but they've been so healing to me this past and helped me hold on even when I wanted to give up.

Like I said, 2017 was a year for the most part, for this part of the world, but also personally. And, while I'd rather not discuss some of what happened, I can say that as hard as it is, I want to get past all of these demons haunting me.

I'm wishing for 2018 to be the year that I do that.

Happy late New Years to everyone. I hope you all are prepared and hoping for the best too.

I'll see you guys soon again!

-Kai

p.s. more reflection blogs will be going up this week cause my Annie here on AFF is the 28th and I'm excited.