I've been MIA from AFF for a number of months now, just due to various reason that I don't want to list because it feels like I'm making excuses, but that I will list anyway, because... making excuses is the whole of this whole blog thing here, so...

For anyone who knows me on here on a personal level, my mental health tends to go to during the fall and winter months, not just because of seasonal depression, but because a lot of happened in my childhood during these times and my internal clock likes to me over by reminding me 24/7 about it. 

And, to top that off, my physical health, which was SUPER ty back in 2015 and 2016, has plummetted once more, I'm assuming for an accumulation of stress from now being a full-time student and part-time worker, that my body can't handle it, and I'm not taking the best care of myself? Idk, I just feel like , look like , and probably am just a piece of , ya know?

But, that is enough for the excuses as to why I haven't been on AFF.

I needed a mental break from life in general. I kind of drew back from everything--twitter, youtube, kakao. I haven't even gotten the recent releases from NCT Dream, 127, Exo or Pentagon and I barely listened to YMMD, which Hoshi is the love of my life what is wrong with me???

November 1st marked to start of another Nano, and I wanted so badly in the beginning to write a non-fanfiction story, and have this plot in my head and absolutely love my characters but... the passion just isn't there like it is for the stories I write on here. And, ideas just haven't come to me like they do with fanfiction and just can't seem to get the words out. I just don't think I'm ready to write non-fanfiction yet... maybe once I'm done with AFF for good, I will be.

So, I decided to change gears a be a rebel again this year, and I have given myself a challenge, that I'll likely fail (but will probably just extend another week if I do) where I am going to update every single of one of my main ongoing stories before this Sunday (11/11). This will count for my Nanowrimo word count, and will hopefully work as a booster for my writing motivation once again.

I'm really sorry to those of you who have been waiting, especially those who personally reached out to me about it. I really do appreciate that you guys care so much for me and for my stories, and some of you were genuinely concerned and PMed me and that means so much T^T

I will do my best for the remainder of this year and next year to be a better author and person.

I love you guys so much <3

-Kai

P.S. to those of you who donated to the bunny fund, THANK YOU SO MUCH. It helped more than any of you could have imagined and I am extremely grateful. The Bunny is doing so much better now (maybe i'll do a blog about her soon in the future) and I feel so  so grateful.

For the giveaway stuff that I offered, I will focus on that in the new year, so I apologize for the wait. Money is just still really tight with everything that happened, and I probably wont be situated again until the New Year comes around, especially with the holidays coming up.

Thank you for your patience, I haven't forgotten about it at all!!