So, what was everyone doing when they found out about Jonghyun? Me, I was waking up. I got on Twitter on my phone and saw that Jonghyun was trending. I thought, ok, one of the Jonghyun's released an album or maybe announced a solo tour. Instead, I see a tweet about SHINee Jonghyun being dead.

Immediately I got off Twitter. I didn't read anything else until I googled him. Surely it was a mistake, someone's idea of a bad joke. I mean, the same thing happened with Heechul, after all. Someone made an article about him being killed and it wasn't true at all, just someone wanting to troll us. But, nope.. It wasn't a joke. Jonghyun really was dead. 

Surely that couldn't be, right? Jonghyun, who was always so outspoken about LGBT rights, among other things; Jonghyun, who always seemed so happy and well adjusted to bein an idol. He couldn't possibly have been depressed, he couldn't possibly have committed suicide. But he did. 

And I have no idea how to feel about that. I've always been careful to see k-pop idols as humans, as wanting the same things someone not in the industry would want. But this shook me up so badly. There's no way someone from a popular group could want to die, could want to leave this world. Right? SHINee is doing so well, after all. So was Jonghyun with his solo career. 

Well, clearly he wasn't happy. We'll probably never know exactly why he did this, what demons he had to fight. But we can't take them for granted anymore. Popularity isn't the same as being completely happy with yourself or what you're doing. SHINee, Super Junior, GOT7, all groups like that, we can't take them for granted. We can't go to bed expecting them to be the same way they are in the morning. 

Depression is real, it hurts, and it kills. You could be the richest person in the world, surrounded by family and friends and depression can still get to you.