It was at first when I realized I had no idea when he had in his mind.
Cross-legged, he stared off into empty space above him – arms crossed and completely still. For hours; it felt – until we were finally called off to the college orientation.

Ever since I had an eye out for him.
The odd one.

It was also his being. Big, cautious eyes and narrowed brows. You know he’s questioning you with one glance. It’s just the kind of face he had. Even the way he smiles – curious. It’s not handsome or pretty, just – weirdly curious. As if he knew something I didn’t.

At first I avoided eye contact. I couldn’t have myself feeling questioned and full of doubt every time he looked at me. Sometimes I’d lock eyes with him in the hallway, turn on my heel and walk the other way.
He was – scary, in a way. Not the frightful sort – but the kind of scare you have for the unknown.

With time, we got to know each other.

He wasn’t the outgoing type. He wasn’t shy either, he simply made no effort to be seen. Even more so to not be seen together.
He’s not sensitive either. Or maybe he does it purposefully – to evoke a sort of reaction from me; because I’m too neutral for assumptions.

For a whole year we play tag.

Avoiding eyes in reality and having conversations on WhatsApp. I try get him out – movies, coffee, events … but he turns me down. Not straight away, no – but by letting the excitement die down.
 

Eventually I learn that he’s cowardly. And he’s not cautious because he knows things I don’t. He’s cautious because he doesn’t know things. It’s disappointing, very – but it’s still cute.
It’s cute that he has no idea about the right things to say – and how he doesn’t have the right answers. That’s only because he hasn’t done this before and that’s a sort of appeal that I haven’t experienced.
It’s cute – but it’s a lot of waiting.

He wouldn’t pick up my calls, and he wouldn’t go on dates with me.
He’s just socially awkward. He’s still the odd one.
The oddest one yet.

He confessed a week back – and now we’ve arrived at a confused junction.

He still doesn’t pick up my calls. It takes him days to process one thing. He’s painstakingly slow and cautious and its low key driving me insane.
Where ever we might end up going with this – I just hope it’s not a bad journey.