hi!

how do i start this, once again, i am having emotions issues mmm not the emotions like i am not able to understand myself. I am the type of person who tries to understand a person and befriend them but when i feel like that person is being very distant, i start being hard on myself by questioning my actions and my words and causes me and anyone to distant even more. another thing is that they use me very easily and i never notice till i am too deep into the friendship and they start being toxic then once again, i am back on being alone.

I tried everything in making friends online and offline but its doesn't work as easily like i am the one who is always trying then i give up and i see them moving on as they make friends and mutual as they get close and closer to each other while i am in still in this shadow of self hurt and unable to accept myself due to the multiple times of being hurt by others, nooo this wound in me is too deep as it travels back to my 4th grade in school till now (1st year of uni). I have been continually hurt, used and bullied but that didn't stop me from making new friends.

I have come to realize that I need to stop being a coward and move from this box, I have been keeping myself in for over the last 5 years of my life. I have opened a new page in my life as I close the old pages of wounds with my acceptance and forgiveness to those who caused it.By forgiveness, I mean that i forgive them for what they did to them and I don't have anymore business left with them bye.

This is a huge step in self realization for me and I hope i was able to share my small story, I know this blog as nothing to with fanfic or fangirling but I know ppl are having these types of emotions so please do take care of yourself and if you want to talk, feel free to message me. 

Please excuse me and my grammar mistakes.