the basics.

name » Son Kyung Mi

birthplace & birthday » Seoul, South Korea | April 18, 1996

hometown » Seoul, South Korea

ethnicity » Half Korean, Half Chinese

occupation » Yonsei University student majoring in Medicine & part-time lab researcher
 

face claim » Bae Suji (Suzy)

backup face claim » Han Seungyeon

 

appearance » Kyung Mi's most noticeable feature is her long, wavy jet black hair. When she is outside, the sun's rays will make her hair look light brown. Her eyebrows are straight and clean-cut. She has a small nose, thin lips, and a pointed chin. Her dark brown eyes are large and emphasized by her double eyelids. Standing at 162 cm, she is shorter than most girls and weighing in at 45 kg, she has a lean frame. Her thin body is exemplified by her long legs, slim arms, and small waist. She has a scar, which she got in a car accident when she was thirteen years old, that starts from her left shoulder and spans across her back to her right hip.

style » Kyung Mi opts for comfort over fashion and usually wears over-sized shirts or tank tops paired with jeans and her beat-up tennis shoes. On especially cold days, she'll wear large hoodies, crewnecks, or sweatshirts to conserve body heat. During warmer seasons, she'll switch to shorts and leggings or knee-length socks in order to accommodate the hotter temperatures.

"Sometimes, all it takes is a smile."

"A lot of the time, I just don't know what to do."

 

I AM READY FOR LOVE.

STATS » 

 

Cooking: 2/10    Cleanliness: 4/10     Sportiness: 6/10  
 Creativity: 8/10   Intelligence: 8/10   Alcohol Tolerance: 1/10     Musicality: 6/10

 

traits » kind, generous, loyal, naive, imaginative, idealistic, stubborn, bitter, sensitive, anxious, nit-picky, competitive

personality » Kyung Mi, at her core, is a kind and generous girl. She loves seeing people smile and she puts forth more effort into others than she does in herself. She smiles at everyone she meets, hoping to brighten up their day. Because she has suffered so much, Kyung Mi does not want anyone else to feel the sadness and pain that she has felt throughout her life. If a person is in need of help, she will do whatever she can to aid them, even if this causes repercussions that she has to deal with afterwards. She greatly enjoys bringing light into people's lives and will not hesitate to give up something of hers if it can help someone else.

 

As a person who invests her entire being into something or someone, Kyung Mi is fiercely loyal. She will follow whatever or whoever she has pledged herself to until the end, unless they betray her first or do something that is beyond forgiveness. She will staunchly stand her ground and stick up for her friends, even though her backbone seems to disappear when it comes to defending herself, because her friends are some of the most important people in her life, after her older brother. She cannot tolerate any misfortune befalling them and would rather sacrifice herself in their place. Kyung Mi is also quite naive and childlike due to being extremely sheltered and focusing solely on her studies for most of her life. Her parents' harsh treatment has stunted her mental growth in that she has never really thought about what it means to be an adult, despite already starting her third decade of life. Her older brother also coddles her, to make up for all of the times he was not there to protect his younger sister, so Kyung Mi is not very knowledgeable about things like clubbing or physical intimacy, even though she is about to graduate from university.

 

Despite not knowing much about adult responsibilities, Kyung Mi is a dreamer and quite idealistic. Although she has tasted the bitterness of life's unfairness, that does not stop her from delving into her vast imagination. She always thinks about the life she could have had if her parents actually loved her and did not treat her like a piece of garbage that stained the family name. She often has thoughts of traveling to escape her parents and explore what the world has to offer. Her active mind wanders a lot, especially due to her shortened attention span caused by her depression. She enjoys conjuring random scenarios in her head or contemplating life and all of its mysteries. Oftentimes, these short scene snippets will make their way into her writing and she will happily flesh out the worlds that have been created in her mind.

Kyung Mi can also be very stubborn, which developed as a defense mechanism against her parents' attacks. She had never talked back to her parents when she was younger, but as she grew older, Kyung Mi began to stubbornly stand her ground and shield herself. She hates being accused of things that are not really her fault, a by-product of her parents ripping on her for failing to be her successful older brother's carbon copy. This will cause resentment towards that person to grow within Kyung Mi, even though she wants to try to be the better person and be forgiving. But her bitterness at always being targeted by her parents causes her to be less merciful, especially when she is emotionally hurt. She is sometimes doubtful of love and its actual existence, which developed in response to the lack of love given to her by her parents.

 

Throughout her adolescence, Kyung Mi has become more withdrawn and anxious as opposed to her more lighthearted and cheerful younger self. This turbulent shift from extroversion to introversion has resulted in huge amounts of anxiety surfacing within her. Kyung Mi is a repressed "alpha" character; she has become more demure and meek, because her more outgoing self never had the chance to properly blossom under her parents' strict rules and abuse. Kyung Mi worries and overthinks easily, especially because failure results in painful punishment. She is sensitive to others' judgment and fears disappointing people, especially knowing that she has already disappointed her parents. She also thrives on compliments and will perform better with positive reinforcement instead of criticism and negative statements. Thus, Kyung Mi tries her best to please everyone she meets or at least tries to make it so that there is nothing they can really criticize her on.

 

Being an extremely competitive person and being constantly goaded by her parents, Kyung Mi always pushes herself to win and be the best at everything. She expects nothing less than perfection from herself and she wholeheartedly throws herself into the task at hand. Her biggest, most fearsome rivals are herself and the almost impossibly high wall of expectations that her parents have set for her. Kyung Mi despises the thought of losing, especially to her parents and their expectations, and she will force herself to see everything through until the very end, even if it is better for her to give up for the sake of her mental health. Her OCD also causes her to be quite nit-picky. If even the smallest details are off, Kyung Mi will start all over and redo everything so that the end result is absolutely perfect. This obsessive need for everything to be perfect, combined with her sleep disorder, has costed Kyung Mi many sleepless nights. She will force herself to sacrifice sleep if it means achieving perfection, reaching success, and gaining her parents' approval.

 

BACKGROUND » Kyung Mi was born in Seoul, South Korea, to a Chinese mother, Chen An Zhen, and a Korean father, Son Woo Sung. An Zhen met Woo Sung in Beijing, China, and the two married each other after one year of dating. They moved to Seoul after their first year of marriage and their first child, Jun Sang, was born two years later. Kyung Mi came along another three years after Jun Sang's birth. The two parents had high expectations for both of their children and raised them to be perfect, especially due to the highly competitive nature of South Korean society. They enrolled their children in as many extracurricular activities as possible while also setting aside hours of practice for each one. They were discouraged from partaking in frivolous activities, like playing video games or watching TV, and were expected to be at the top of their class. An Zhen and Woo Sung wanted their children to be Harvard University graduates and respected doctors, especially since both parents were scientific researchers.

 

Jun Sang turned out to be that perfect child. He was extremely smart, due in part to his photographic memory and stellar work ethic, and was talented at everything he tried his hand at. He was valedictorian of his high school class, president of the student council, captain of the varsity tennis team, concertmaster of the advanced orchestra, and accepted to Harvard University as an undergraduate student and a medical student. He was essentially the trophy firstborn son that every Asian parent wished for. He was not only successful, but also incredibly nice, respectful, humble, and friendly. Other parents doted on him and used him as an example for their own children to follow. His only flaw was that he was too perfect and this image of perfection caused Kyung Mi to have a hard time, trying to live up to his legacy and match all of his achievements. She went to all of the extracurricular classes that he attended and was tutored by the same people he was. However, she could not reach the same level of success that he did, despite being an intelligent and talented girl.

 

Woo Sung initially blamed her failures on her love for gaming. Kyung Mi grew up loving video games, influenced mostly by her friends who were all male. As a child, she had been envious of her friends who received gaming systems from their parents, while hers had refused and continuously preached the need to focus on her studies. Knowing how much his younger sister wanted a gaming system of her own, Jun Sang had secretly saved up his allowance to buy her a GameBoy and gifted it to her for Christmas one year. Woo Sung had been furious upon finding out, but Jun Sang had managed to abate his father's anger by promising that he would make sure Kyung Mi would not neglect her studies. She had been restricted to an hour of gaming every month by her parents and always made the most of this precious time when she could.

 

When she was younger, Kyung Mi was at the top of her class, just like her older brother had been. However, she first tasted failure when receiving average marks in her Algebra Honors class in her second year of middle school. An Zhen had been shocked upon seeing her daughter's grades and thus began Kyung Mi's descent into depression after her parents began punishing her for her failures. She would get beat, mostly by her father, whenever she failed to match whatever Jun Sang had done. Her mother would usually throw harsh words at Kyung Mi, telling her how useless and a waste of space she was for failing to be as successful as Jun Sang. She silently took the beatings, knowing that they would only hit her more if she talked back. Cracks began to appear as Kyung Mi obsessed over trying to live up to her parents' expectations. Her OCD exacerbated her developing anxiety and this violent form of discipline began to take its toll on her fragile mind.

 

The abuse only worsened when Kyung Mi entered high school. Once again, her Algebra 2 Honors class was the only class with average marks on her record for her first year and her parents punished her heavily for it. They could not understand why she was not a natural at math, especially since math had been one of their best subjects while they were in school. The beatings and fights became more frequent, and the seed of depression that had been planted in middle school began developing as her self-loathing grew. She began to rely more on her friends, especially after her older brother graduated and moved abroad to study at Harvard University. She became more withdrawn and developed insomnia from pulling all-nighters almost every school night to study for exams in hopes of emulating Jun Sang's success. But her depression began taking a toll on her mind as her attention span gradually shortened, which affected her test scores. Kyung Mi became trapped in a loop of constant studying and obsessing over her grades to avoid being violently punished by her parents.

 

By the time she reached her third year of high school, Kyung Mi finally began fighting back physically. She no longer held back and her parents detested her even more for trying to defend herself. They saw it as a sign of disrespect and doled out more punishments when they could. They loathed the fact that they could not show her off as a trophy like they did with Jun Sang and validate their family's status. Kyung Mi became prone to panic attacks that she had to suffer silently without the support of her older brother, who knew nothing about how his younger sister was being treated. The higher he climbed, the harder she fell as more and more expectations piled on her shoulders. While Kyung Mi did develop thoughts of suicide, she was too afraid of the unknown aspects of death to ever carry through with the act. Her friends and her older brother also kept her tethered to the world, and the tiny spark of hope that she would eventually be successful and make her parents proud kept her going.

 

Kyung Mi was rejected by Harvard University, but managed to secure an acceptance letter from Yonsei University. Her mother expressed how disappointed she was at having thrown so much money down the drain for her daughter to only reach Yonsei University when Jun Sang had been able to climb to the top. Luckily, Kyung Mi was able to live away from home as a university student and her depression was slightly alleviated in a safer setting. Despite being away from her parents, their abuse had broken her mind and Kyung Mi found it extremely difficult to learn material that she soon realized she had no interest in. She majored in Medicine to fulfill the dream of becoming a doctor that her parents had pushed onto her, but none of the curriculum was interesting to her. The effect of her depression on her mind made schoolwork even more stressful for her than it already was and her grades began falling drastically. No matter how much she tried or how hard she studied, Kyung Mi received mediocre grades and she fell deeper into despair.

 

She grew ashamed of how low she had fallen and when her parents discovered how abysmally she was doing, the fighting and beating increased exponentially. It was not until Jun Sang came home for Chuseok during her third year of university that he discovered her sobbing in her room one night after a huge fight between her and her parents. She usually hid how broken she felt whenever he was home, since she did not want to worry him, but was unable to that night. Jun Sang, who had no idea how much his younger sister had suffered all of these years, then learned about everything and argued with their parents to allow Kyung Mi to begin seeing a therapist. Even though they heavily opposed the idea, due to the stigma attached to therapy as well as thinking that their daughter was just being lazy, Jun Sang threatened to cut ties with them if they did not. So Kyung Mi began regularly seeing a therapist once a week to confront the issues that she had built over the years in terms, such as her lacking self-confidence and depressive moods that affected her learning abilities.

 

Since then, Jun Sang has been more receptive to her feelings and tries his best to show her that she is indeed loved. She allows herself to indulge in her hobbies more often, since they make her happy and serve as breaks from the constant studying that usually stresses her out to no end. She is also trying to explore more avenues for her future, realizing that becoming a doctor was her parents' dream. Not to mention, she absolutely hates doing scientific research and she knows she will never do it for the rest of her life; the only reason she joined a lab was to hopefully be published and buff up her medical school applications. While Kyung Mi has improved since starting therapy, she is still prone to falling into the trap of depression and sometimes has anxiety attacks. However, she is working bit by bit to climb out of this dark hole and grab the light that awaits her. All she wants is to be happy, so she is trying her best to learn to love herself.

 

LIKES »

— The color red - She loves this color the most as it represents courage and happiness. Her OCD also makes this color more appealing to her, because it is the first in the sequence of the rainbow.

— Coffee - She often stays up late due to her sleeping disorder and cannot stay awake easily if she is especially tired during the day, so this drink has become her best friend.

— Lemons - She enjoys eating sour food and can't get enough of them. Even though people look at her strangely when she eats them whole, she cannot resist stuffing them in if she can get ahold of them.

— Spring - She likes this season for what it symbolizes: rebirth, life, growth, and purity. She also favors the season she was born in.

— Swimming - She loves the sport and used to swim every day when she was younger. She dreamt of representing her country at the Olympics, but this goal was never realized.

— Stuffed animals - She collects them and sleeps with one every night. She currently has 134 plushies in her collection.

— Rainy days - She loves listening to the calming sound of raindrops while sitting on a comfy chair, being wrapped up in blankets, and drinking hot chocolate.

— Origami - She folds paper whenever she needs to relax after a long day at school.

dislikes »

— Tea - She does not like the aroma and the taste of the beverage.

— Mushrooms - She dislikes the squishy feeling between her teeth when she chews them and hates the taste.

— Seaweed - She does not like the taste and hates the fact that it comes from the salt waters of the sea. Even though she knows it has been purified and cleaned, she cannot help but feel suspicious that it may still be contaminated.

— Ants - She can handle a few stray ones at a time, but an entire army will freak her out.

— Marshmallows - She starts feeling nauseous from the smell of them and cannot stay near a large pile of them without feeling terribly woozy.

— Being rushed - She is a person who moves at her own pace, so this will irk her beyond belief.

— Merry-go-rounds - She gets dizzy very easily and will throw up if she gets too dizzy. To avoid such situations, she steers clear of these whenever she sees them.

— Rollercoasters - She dislikes the thrill and the feeling of adrenaline pumping through her, and would much rather stay on the ground than up in the air.

 

strong points»

— Writing - Ever since she was young, she has been writing short stories during her free time. She has so many ideas dancing around in her head and her love for reading also contributes to her desire to create amazing worlds with her pencil. This is how her innate creativity flows as she creates scenes on paper through her words. Her writing is also an outlet and de-stressor for her turbulent emotions.

— Playing video games - She loves playing video games, especially Pokemon. She is one of the biggest Pokemon fans out there and has owned at least one title from each generation released since the third generation with her first game being Pokemon Ruby Version. She also enjoys playing Super Smash Bros. when she is with her friends. The two games she wishes she could play well are League of Legends and Overwatch, having only played a couple of games on her friends' accounts, since she knows they take a lot of time to master which she doesn't have as a student.

— Drawing - She has been drawing since she was young and can copy anything almost perfectly as well as create on the spot. She usually draws animated characters and creatures. Because she sees the world in such vibrant colors, she is more partial to colorful mediums such as oil paints, watercolors, and colored pencils. She dabbles slightly in soft pastels, but prefers to not use them because of how messy they are.

— Voice acting - As an avid anime-watcher, she loves impersonating voices and has huge respect for those in the voice acting industry. A dream of hers is to voice a character in a successful animated TV series or film. Whenever she watches anime, she listens closely to the characters' voices to see if she can distinguish who the voice actors are.

— Playing the piano - She has been playing this instrument since she was four years old. She is exceptionally talented for her age, but never cultivated the talent due to how exhausting it was to practice every day when she felt no passion for playing. However, after also being forced to learn how to play the violin at the age of nine, she has come to appreciate the piano more and feels less animosity towards it. She has not played either instrument since graduating high school.

— Playing tennis - After her dreams of becoming a world-class swimmer were dashed due to her parents' unwillingness to drive her to practice, she switched over to tennis. She is decent, not at all close to being professional as she could have been with swimming, but still able to hold her own against strong opponents. She prefers to play doubles and usually covers the right side of the court. 

— Remembering faces - She has the uncanny ability to remember a face as soon as she has seen it once. This helps her remember the people she has met throughout her life. She once took a psychology test to receive extra credit for a class and ranked in the top 1% for scoring perfectly in two sections out of three for a facial perception test; she got three questions wrong in the first section, because she was trying to familiarize herself with the test.

— Academics - She was one of the top-ranked students for most of her life, up until her mental health started deteriorating, which affected her attention span and willingness to learn. She used to never need to study to do well on tests and still does not study very much for subjects that she is passionate about, which are few and far between nowadays.

weak points»

— Cooking - She only knows how to make instant ramen, fried rice, cereal, sandwiches, and salads. Whenever she tries to cook something fancier, like dumplings or pasta, it turns out very mediocre. She has always been interested in learning how to cook, but after being discouraged by her father for so many years, she has basically given up trying to learn and is content with the basic staples or microwavable food.

— Drinking alcohol - She despises alcohol due to its taste and the fear of losing control when becoming drunk. Although she has taken shots at her friends' birthday parties, she taps out after one or two, because her face heats up very quickly and she hates feeling her burning cheeks. She is perfectly able to have fun without alcohol and politely declines it whenever it is offered to her.

— Being lonely - She enjoys alone time, because that allows her to freely be herself and recharge whenever she is feeling emotionally drained. However, being lonely is something that she greatly fears. The thought of not having someone she can emotionally depend on or someone she can share her passions with is terrifying to her.

— Responding to messages - Because her parents used to yell at her for chatting with friends when she was younger, she has grown to feel uncomfortable with responding to messages on social media. Whenever people start online conversations with her, she feels like she should be doing something else, unless it's clear that the conversation has a foreseeable conclusion. It can take her up to several days to respond to someone's messages and most of her friends carry on neverending conversations that have spanned for years due to how infrequently she responds. 

— Flirting - She is completely unaware of how to flirt with someone. Since most of her friends are guys, she usually acts very "bro-like" towards other males and is not very familiar with acting in a feminine manner towards someone she likes. It is much easier for her to act like a comfortable friend than it is to turn up her virtually nonexistent feminine charm. Her lack of dating experience further emphasizes her inability to flirt.

— Being touched - Especially after the physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, she is very wary when it comes to physical touch. She will hug people if they verbally request it, but random and unexpected skinship can startle her, especially when she is feeling on edge. She is especially uncomfortable when people touch her back, because of her scar.

— Being on time - She has a tendency to be late to appointments, meetings, and other schedules due to how she waits until the last possible minute to leave for her destination. Although she should theoretically be exactly on time due to how she plans out her schedule, there are always unexpected delays that come up out of her control, which causes her to be late to virtually everything.

— Academics - She struggles a lot with her classes nowadays, finding herself either drifting off to sleep during lectures because of her sleeping disorder or being unable to retain information very easily due to her short attention span caused by her depression. Before, her grades were a source of pride; now, they are only a cause of dread. While she still enjoys learning, school has become a nightmare that she desperately wants to escape.

 

 

trivia »

— She never carries around an umbrella when it rains, because she loves the feeling of cool raindrops on her skin.

— She is allergic to nuts of all kinds.

— She never uses profanity, because she think it's beneath her and that people who do swear a lot are quite barbaric for not using a better vocabulary to express their feelings.

— She organizes her clothes in color categories.

— Her legs twitch when she is nervous. She has so much pent-up energy when she becomes nervous, so she often twitches to release it.

— She twirls her hair when she is thinking deeply. She does not like it when her hair gets in the way while she is thinking, so she plays with it to keep it out of the way and to occupy her hands.

— She suffers from depression, anxiety, OCD, and insomnia.

— She has never kissed anyone before and does not plan to until she is in an established relationship.

— She burns paper to calm herself down after fighting with her parents.

— She does not know how to drive and is afraid of learning due to the trauma inflicted from the serious car accident she was in when she was younger.

 

 

home is where your heart is.

 

 

LOVE INTERESTS » Yoo Kihyun, Chae Hyungwon, Shin Hoseok

the reason you applied » Kyung Mi applied to the show at the recommendation of her therapist, who believes that this program can help her confront some of the issues she is dealing with. The fact that she has never dated anyone is something her therapist hopes to change through this program, as well as having Kyung Mi learn how to showcase confidence while being around twenty beautiful girls. If she fails, it will be a chance for her to evaluate where she went wrong and how she can improve. A small part of Kyung Mi hopes that she will be able to find love on the show, because the thought of failing something again and on national television is extremely terrifying. She may never get another chance like this to be around seven young, attractive men who are willing to invest time and attention in her, as long as she proves to be interesting enough to catch their eye. And having been a lonely soul for her entire life so far, Kyung Mi is now ready to find her other half.

 

strategy » Kyung Mi is planning to become friends with all of the bachelors first, which should not be too difficult since most of her friends back home are male. As she slowly gets to know all of them, she will let her heart tug her towards the bachelors that she feels a connection with and begin focusing most of her attention on them. Even though her "friend-first" strategy might backfire on her, Kyung Mi knows that trying to be someone she is not will not work and will just undo the progress she has made in terms of her mental health. While she is willing to compromise, because all relationships require compromise, and to go out of her comfort zone to challenge herself, Kyung Mi also does not want to completely lose herself or her values in trying to blindly impress someone who could easily throw her away. If the bachelors cannot appreciate her for who she is, then they are the ones who lose in the end is the mantra that she is going to live by during the program. Kyung Mi cannot afford to place them on high pedestals that she will unconsciously bar herself from reaching; she will view them as equals and see herself as worthy of being loved by them, because everyone, including herself, deserves to be loved.

 

 

The bachelors »

• jooheon » Jooheon is Kyung Mi's least favorite bachelor out of the seven, although she still enjoys being in his company whenever others are with them to fill in the gaps. She is mostly uncomfortable with his jokes and she is not a fan of how much he parties, especially when there is alcohol. His lifestyle is too over-the-top for her and she feels like they do not share the same values.
• changkyun » Changkyun has confidence that Kyung Mi wishes she possessed. Although she does not really see him as a romantic partner, mostly due to how much nightlife is integrated in his life and how much it is not in hers, she admires how much he does not care about others' opinions. She wants to learn how to be as confident as he is and spends a fair amount of time with him to learn his ways.
• hyungwon » Hyungwon has an attractive face, which Kyung Mi is initially charmed by. His reserved personality and love for traveling endear him even more to her, since she can see the parallels between them. As time passes and they interact more, she begins to fall for his hidden witty self, his hilariously adorable facial expressions, and his subtle romantic gestures.
• hyunwoo » Hyunwoo is someone Kyung Mi feels kinship with. They are similar to each other with their lack of dating experience, their love for swimming, and their general awkwardness around people. Due to their shared interests, Kyung Mi is very comfortable around him and sees him as someone she could become best friends with.
• minhyuk » Minhyuk is as bright and lively as Kyung Mi expected him to be. She became a casual fan of his after watching a drama he starred in whenever she took study breaks. She is a bit star-struck around him at times and tries to give him space, knowing that he is a celebrity, before remembering that it is okay for her to talk to him, since this program is about intimately getting to know the bachelors.
• hoseok » Hoseok is an enigma, which intrigues Kyung Mi at first. As she gets to know him, she realizes that he is just as emotional and sensitive as she is. For some inexplicable reason, she is drawn towards him and feels as though she can trust him with her innermost feelings, knowing that he will not judge her and will understand her instead.
• kihyun » Kihyun confuses Kyung Mi at first with his contrasting personality. His unfiltered sarcasm terrifies her, but his sweet gestures make her heart flutter and she cannot help but fall for him. Although she is terrible at cooking, seeing how he is so dedicated to his craft inspires her to become better and she does not mind his constructive criticism, knowing that he only wants to help her.

 

this is paradise.

"So...this is season 2 of Bachelor's Paradise. Interesting how people are still torturing themselves with applying for this show. Please, introduce yourself."

• "Oh, trust me. This isn't torture. I've been through much worse. Anyway, my name is Son Kyung Mi and I am currently a fourth-year Medicine major undergraduate student at Yonsei University."

"Why do you think you need this program to find love? Is there a reason you couldn't find love on your own?"

• "I was actually recommended to apply for this program by my therapist. She's repeatedly said that I need to go out and date, since I've been single for my entire life so far. Because I also need to work on being more independent by talking to people who aren't my friends, we both figured that I'd kill two birds with one stone if I managed to join this show."

"Why should we choose you and not someone else?"

• "I'm...not the most emotionally stable person, I admit. But just because I have several mental disorders doesn't mean I'm not human. Considering how mental health is such a taboo issue in South Korea, I think it would be beneficial for the youth of our country if there were a broadcast that showcased how not everyone who suffers from mental illness is a freak or psychopath. We shouldn't be shamed into thinking that we are or that we shouldn't ask for help, especially because we really need the support and validation. We just happen to have a harder time dealing with life due to our circumstances and the chemical imbalances in our brain. People with cancer or other physical diseases aren't rejected by society for being sick, so why should we be? I am also completely aware that I could be heavily criticized and judged by the public if I appear on this show due to my baggage. But I have to at least try and grow some thicker skin if I'm to make some progress with my issues. If I can help even one person convince him or herself to seek professional help for their mental health, then I will consider my being on the show a success."

"What do you think about people who gain a lot of money?"

• "I admire them. Simple as that. I only wish I were rich or at least with a job paying a respectable salary, because that would take away a lot of stress that plagues me. Spending money, as much as I love doing it, makes me extremely anxious and I end up cutting corners in my lifestyle whenever I feel that I've overspent."

"Any hopes or dreams for the future?"

• "That I'll figure out exactly what I want to do soon. For the longest time, I thought being a doctor was my path, but now...I'm not so sure. The thing is, I've never really prepared myself for any other occupation. I have several hobbies, but I don't know if they're actually my passions or just hobbies. And I don't know which ones I can turn into an actual, stable career. I'm still trying to find myself and maybe this program will help me out. I've always wondered what it'd be like to appear on TV, although more as an entertainer rather than as a reality show contestant."

"Oh right... did you watch season 1?"

• "Honestly, I didn't. I don't have much time to watch TV nowadays, because I have to study and work basically all of the time. On average, I run on about three to six hours of sleep a night and since I do have a sleeping disorder, I'm pretty drained during the day. My free time is usually spent on reading, writing, playing video games, or watching dramas instead of reality TV shows."

"Okay, that's it... why are you looking at me like that? You want to tell me something else?"

• "Oops, I'm really sorry. I have a bad habit of openly staring at people and memorizing faces. Please don't think too much of it."

 

last words.

comments/suggestions » I haven't applied for a non-established AU story in a LONG time, but this concept really caught my eye and it helps that I'm currently obsessed with Monsta X, haha. I just started reading the first season and I'm really enjoying it so far! And I think it's also reassuring to know that this story will most likely be finished and not abandoned like most apply stories, so I've done my best to create a hopefully interesting character! :) Please let me know if anything needs to be fixed and/or changed!

 

NOTE: Most of this was finished before Jonghyun's death. I debated whether or not to submit her afterwards, but ultimately decided to in the end. I hope that's okay and I completely understand if a character like her is uncomfortable to write about due to the circumstances. 
 

scene requests » None at the moment.
 

password » rip when u dont actually have an ultimate bias so u put all 31 of ur biases thru a random picker and get Kim Ryeowook from Super Junior