Hi readers .. 

A few days ago , I got a shocked news . My exboyfriend getting married or already married , I don't even know.

So I got notification from one of my group chat.

" Guys, who will attend >my exboyfriend's name< wedding ?" said one of my friend in the group.

I remember feeling so numb that day. I be like

"Ahh .. He finally getting married. With that woman he cheated on me?" and a few other question in my head.

I thought I have move on to be honest . No joke. How long ago is it? A year ? Two ? I don't know.

I think I actually feel more bitter because we were in relationship for 3 years or is it 4 (?) , and most of our friends didnt know that. Thats why people keep asking who's going to his wedding in that group. 

I am like that dirty secret he has and I think that's what makes me bitter. 

I met his family but his mom doesnt like me. Maybe she think I'm not suitable with him. My apperance I mean. I'm ugly and her son look so good .

While in his opinion , I am not a good woman for him. He want a better woman and I'm not.  And I find out he already cheated on me with this one woman his mother love. I guess I'm too stupid at that time. And we broke up.

He is a nice guy really. Except when he expect me to stay home and just go out with him , not hanging out with my friends girls or boys. He expect me just to stay alone , in front of my phone and give attention to him and if I'm home , to only go out with him . He even disapprove me to go out with my siblings as if my sibling will shove me to any man and make me have with any of them. 

He is that kind of guy who treat you nicely and expect all of your attention only giving to him . He also a guy who said 

" Man is expected to cheated or have one or two girlfriend . But a woman who has more than one boyfriend ..tchh . that show how her attitude is."

I remember my fight with him after he said this.

Do you guys know why he think I am not a good woman for him ?

Because I don't want to follow his order to stay home when he told me to. Because I hang out with my friends too much. Because I reply his text a few minute late just because I gave my attention to my heartbroken friend at that time. Because he think , when I'm not with him , I'm ting myself with other man. 

He didnt trust me when I never gave him any sign of loving other guys.

To him , its okay for guys to hang out with their friends, but a girlfriend should not do that. A girlfriend duty should be to focus only on her boyfriend.

After we broke up , I actually feel relieved and free. And today , I start to wonder again , why I even fell in love with that guy ? 

But serious talk , I hope , I seriously hope , he didnt treat his wife as if he treated me. I hope he treasure her like she is the most important person in his life. I hope all that cheated tendency he got vanished as soon as he officially become her husband. And I hope , he fully give his trust to his wife because loving someone who didnt trust you is painful.

He , when he is not being his jerk self , is a guy worth to be love and dedicated yourself to.

I hope you are happy. I really do.

p/s: I sound so bitter in this entry ..