When you're thinking deep at 2am in morning…

My relatives from Norway & Philippines will leave Dubai since they had a vacation here. But the odd thing is that I will miss their presence… and their kids. Man, they have 2 babies and I cannot stop showering the babies with kisses. But they don't like stangers so they would end up crying everytime they see me.

It breaks my heart that my niece and nephew are scared of me. *sobs*

Anyways, my house is now quiet and oddly empty… I'm going to miss my lola (grandmother in Filipino) so much. ;; She means a lot to me because I haven't seen her in a long time & the last time I saw her, I was really rude to her.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEMORY HAUNTS ME. And that was 2 years ago… IM-

SOMEONE KILL ME.

But the whole point of my vent is because once they left the house became quiet and empty… it's just… it made me sad, it's a not a goodbye but I like their presence. Although at times, I love being alone but being lonely… that's something it scared me.

Those who don't understand the difference between "wanting to be alone" and "lonely"… you will understand… idk how to explain but it's in the feeling… lmao

I was thinking of my future…

• Dad is going to retire at 60 (he's currently 56… WAIT- WHAT)
• My sister is going to finish high school next year (but she doesn't know if she wants to study in Norway or Philippines)
• Mom is probably going to go with my sister (stay with her for year maybe?)
• I'm graphic design student, going to finish in 2 years
• Idk what will happen to this house…

Honestly, just one event got me thinking so much. At first I thought I was the kind of person who would get over attachments tbvh but because I grew up with my family for a long time… idk how to feel about that… I might feel very lonely. I'm going to miss my little sister the most since she's the only closest person  I tell about my feelings & … 

Argh.

This vent doesn't makes sense to me because I'm just writing whatever I thought. lmao

But I guess the future will tell once I get there.

Also… few days ago, I had a conversation with my cousin about marriage, etc

Throughout my life of listening to love stories, "True love waits" has been repeated my whole life and I kept thinking about it.

Am I going to be married in the future or am I going to have the gift of "singleness"? omg

ADSHSKSBSKSHAB 

I'm fcking sick & I actually need sleep. pmsl