Entering another crazy phase

Alright, this is gonna serve more as a reason why I haven't been updating as frequently as I used to, which is basically like two major reasons.

One. Work has piled up a lot over the last few months. We landed a contract to do some training and workshop thing with a big firm to strengthen their in house research team. And guess who's the senior instructor? Yep. Me. So for the past several weeks I was busy with teaching and training and spending a lot of time and effort since teaching how to do research from start to finish isn't a walk in the park. So yeah.

Two. This is the more complicated part. In that firm, one of the contact persons was this fresh grad who like eight years younger than me with a nice statistics and econometrics background. Makes sense to be the contact person. But to cut the long story short, we started seeing each other after work and went on a couple of dates already. As time went by we ended up chatting late into the night as well.

She's independent in a way, not relying to much on other people for her support system and whatnot. She playfully doesn't like to be called cute (so she punches me every time I call her that). Strong willed but chill. But she's got this big heart that's caring and loyal to her friends. And she's a big KPOP fan as well. She calls me "Ritchie Oppa" very fondly.

But for some reason, lately it has become a push and pull thing. She would randomly turn me down or accept my invitation for dinner and drinks, and when we talk sometimes she keeps bringing up that I'm a nice guy but the vibe is somewhat negative. I got frustrated one time and blurted out something like "I'm not like other guys jeez who date women to get into their !" And she quickly apologized for playing the nice guy card as if it was a bad thing.

But yeah, things became a little awkward after that. We still talk and see each other but somehow the spark lessened a bit or something like that. I'm now contemplating if I should just confess to her that I really like her and I want to take it to the next level, but I also realized that I'm at that stage where I'm playing for keeps now. I mean, if she's the one, then I want to marry her. But she's like way younger than me and obviously want to explore around and see what life after college can give her. But I really can't stop thinking about her and all that and all the usual things when a guy falls head over heels in love with a girl.

So yeah, I'm trying to sort everything out now and try to make sense of what's going on and what should I do. And I'm really dumbfounded.

And yeah, that's what's been preoccupying me so much. Work. And a potential love life. And I'm stuck with what I'm supposed to do.

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lalophobia #1
omg look at u being all grown up with work and love omgomgomgomg don't stress urself at work like bro AFF comes behind life lmao
but this girl like idk if she that much younger she could just be seeing what her options are, and if she real wishy washy with wanting to go on dates and , idk man. then the ur a nice guy think like hmmm. I mean she could be tryna play hard to get and just real awkward and is like bro u so nice cause I do that when I'm awkward
lmao I do that now with my BF and we been dating 5 months and I still at feelings I'm like ily be safe don't die u da best lmao
but like so far wut u said like idk man like all u can do is try to ask her out more until u get more positive signs and then make a move
she could just not be ready for a nailed down relationship or something like that yanno, cause she young?? idk maybe slip in some weird questions idk
KookieKandles #2
IDK but as a girl, telling a guy he's nice always means I just wanna be friends
Don't get me wrong, guys being nice is not only a good thing it's a requirement for dating
Having said that.....when I'm attracted to a guy I never tell him he's nice. I tell him he is handsome, y, strong, smart, interesting, etc.
Nice? Thats for people I wanna have froyo with on saturday afternoons
I dont know this girl, so I don't know for sure, but women gives signs and they are not always verbal. Does she touch you a lot? Smile a lot? Laugh a lot with you? Touch her hair, neck, lips in your presence? Cross her legs towards you when you sit? Play with her hair or necklace? What is her eye contact like? You can always tell what a person thinks of you eye contact. The quality of it, and the quantity of it. Analyze that, and you'll have a pretty definitive answer as to whether she likes you
Soona3 #3
First of all, don't get too stress over work and relax. Second of all, I think it's because you guys are still at the first stage of your relationship and still don't quite know each other enough. Maybe take some time and talk to each other and talk more about yourself and if you have time, go on a trip together. Or if her age really separates you guys, if you have the confidence and really love her, maybe wait for a few more years when she gets a little bit more mature and older. Or just start slowly, relationships are always awkward at the beginning and there is always going to be up and downs. Like the quote, "Relationship is bi polar."
I really recommend checking out my advice shop, Here With You, for more advices and support.
Aerxia #4
Well, from my perspective she seem's like a great girl who is very real w/ u compared to most girls these days (believe me I'm embarrassed on behalf of the female population) however, like you said, she is 8 years younger than you, realistically thinking, I'm not sure if the feelings she feels for you right now are the same level as your as you feel for her. I know 2 married couples who have 7-11 years and they turned out to have some of the marriages I've ever seen. But dude, you're thinking long term here, pulling in marriage, and that's not really something she would probably be thinking about. Just see how it goes, and if she is the one then congrats, but maybe talk things through with her to get a general position to where exactly she sees you at. Good luck!
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