I'm not sure if this is the place for a rant like this, but I sure don't have the wordpress app (as of now) to rant it all on my personal blog.

My grandmother (president/founder of the company) has been talking to me lately about training me to take on the family business as I am currently unemployed ever since I graduated last April. Yesterday, she made all her plans come to reality and collected me from my apartment and asked me to move in with her permanently because she was serious about making me learn all the stuff that has been going on in the business.

Short history: the business is about 23 or 25 years old and she really worked hard to put it up and keep it afloat. None of us, her six grandchildren, plans on taking over despite it being the reason why we have such lifestyle. Not that we're ungrateful or anything, it's simply just because all of us are more artistic than business-minded people.

Today she took me to work and told the employees how I'll be handling the company soon and should be addressed with respect as much as they do with her. Right now, my task is to manage the company's finances while I'm learning my grandmother's job as well (and that is to be the next president of the company). I'm shook. Greatly. I don't know where my creativity can take place in this job. Do you hear the sound of my heart falling to pieces?

I've been told I don't have to take it if I don't want to but I feel as though I HAVE to. She used the "I'm not getting any younger" card on me and did say that the company means a lot to her because it kept us all sheltered and such. She also told me about my parents (that's another story) and their work history which made me feel like I have to do this. I feel like she's relying on me now because my sister (whom she forced to study accountancy) is not planning on getting better at her major which is worrying my grandmother a lot. My older cousin had already found a job and my younger brother and two younger cousins are still finishing school. All she has is me to pass it on, especially now that the company is suffering a few problems.

I don't know what to do. I feel like my head is going to explode. I threw up in my mouth when everyone in the office called me "Ma'am Danielle" and I wanted to weep when I was handed the numbers and calculators (yes, I was handed four different calcs, I was horrified).

Why is being an adult hard? I just turned 21 why am I about to be president of a company I barely know how to handle? I am not in a fanfic, why is my own plot mocking me (ref to sehun in 300 hours lmao CEO at such a young age)?

I want to think of it thoroughly but my brain is too occupied of this thing I'm going through with my parents (especially my dad). I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE.