First I would like to apologize for not updating any stories, dealing with school, family and a major relapse with my mental health has really taken it's toll on me. I am okay now, still not where I was but I'm trying my best to get there, So please wait for me ^^ <3

Now Everyone here knows about Daniel.. well we're going to school at different times so I don't see him and I havent talked to him in a little over a month, but he's not who I'm about to tell y'all about. -__-

This boy named Ty has lived beside my grandmother for about 10 years and since we were kids, people would say, "aww he likes you" and so on, but the thing is I am 2 years older than him and to be honest, he's not that mature. So after years and years of trying to make moves and make me jealous, I finally said yes. I feel everyone deserves a chance, ya know. I noticed he started changing once we were dating, changing in a good way. He was trying to be more mature... but I felt that he wasnt being 100 with me. like this ex of his has been with him on and off for awhile and he'd be with her but be confessing to me. I know we cant help who we love, but its not right to pour you feelings out to the person youre falling for while the other person is in love with you. ANYWAY so a few weeks ago, I called him over to get him to break up with me, he instantly changed, I had never seen him calmly angry before. He kept asking why and I was saying how I dont trust him too well and so on. Well he yelled at me and got in his car and sped off. I was thinking he went to her house but idk. So im trying to apologize and explain that its me not you, and he aint hearing it. The reason why him ignoring me got to me because we have been friends for so long and I thought that was a bs reason. I stopped texting him and whenn he'd see me, he'd give me this look, like you knew he was angry with me. So I texted him 1 more time after that and said we need to talk, he waited maybe 2 days then replied with a yes. So we were talking, turns out, he was having home issues with his parents and stuff AND according to him, we never broke up(da fuq). He said he was frustrated and he wanted me to come over....

I hesitated but I walked next door and he opens the door with just some basketball shorts on (LMAO) I followed him into a room and he goes and gets in the bed, under the cover and turns on some music! 0.0 he told me to get in the bed.. OKAY Wait.. I'm not a fan of making love to music, but if I was to, it would be to H-Town - Knockin da boots or Boyz 2 Men - I'll make love to you. something like that, this fool turns on trap music.. TRAP MUSIC! Trap music is songs about money, drugs, and things of that nature. Then he tells me that we are in Mama Pamsu's room. boooooy I said hell naw! Im not about to get in your moms bed. She knows me and all but noooo. Then he was like take off your boots because we look the same height. (OMG!) I was like my boots only add 1 inch. Im 5'7 without them and he's 5'10 without shoes. So Im trying to find a way to escape and before I knew it, he was attacking my necks. That's my spot. thats shamefully my spot and HE KNEW IT! Every time I'd push away he'd pull me in and when them teeth sunk into my skin, it was over, I was losing all of my will power. He started raising up my shirt and putting his hands on my hips. felt that hand go for pants button.  NO! lol i didnt shout it, i just pushed him back and was like ooh no, this is not the place or time. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and all I could do was apologize. and he said well let me at least walk you to the door. I gave him a hug and backed out of the house slowly with my hands blocking in front of me (LOL) so a few days have passed and we're together again but while we werent, things happened. He asked his ex to prom, who I feel like is still his gf. Its his prom and im in college so im going to let him have that.. so that has been on my mind. So today I said "I gotta ask you a question and just answer it honestly." he replied "mhm" almost instantly. i said " what do you want from me? Are you just with me because you want to have with me? if so, then we dont need to be together, and I feel like a side piece and I aint with that " hours later, no reply. I texted to him. "I got my answer."

If i break up with him, he's gonna go off on me again and give me those looks and throw our friendship away. I clearly want our friendship but I dont wanna be played. So should I break up with with only my intuition as evidence or should I stay with him and see whats up? Some of the things he do makes me believe he likes me for me . Like when he just stares at me for like 5 minutes and I keep saying what and he says nothing lol but also, he's mr. lightskin with the curly hair and he lets that get to his damn head. These girls be like "Heeey Ty" and all that bs and he grin and be like "hey" or "Whats up"and I wont lie, my insecurities take place a bit here because the girls he be around are girls. girly girls, make up, skirts, dresses, short shorts and Im a dude like hell. I stay covered head to toe, you dont see my arms or legs. I cant really hide the size of my s because... theyre big as hell but im nothing like them or HER so Im like, "Why you keep coming back this way?" man.. idk