Advice needed

Hey people 

Jules here...

So this not very good thing happend today.. so as I mentioned in my previous blog i have a friend called Charlie.

Let me paint you a picture of how me, and most of the world sees her:

She's a very sweet and loving person, we immediatly clicked when we meet. She is currently in her mid teen years. Her parents are separated (not divorced) and they work most of time.

Charlie is a very lazy person. She also isn't very good in school. Since she's too old to repeat a year in school they let her pass with about four insufficient grades. I try to help her but she struggles a lot, I think it's also thanks to her past. Her mom would hit her occationally in elementary school, she used to come to school with hand marks on her legs and she would always be late. 

Since her parents aren't there for her, she isn't very good at differentiating good and bad (doesn't help that she's hard-headed). I love her with all my heart I swear..... but recently she's been hanging with the wrong croud (for me). See I'm not popular at all, yet she is like middle class of popularity. I don't really care for popularity because I wont know any of these es when school ends. They can make fun for my tastes and likings but went I'll have a better job than them and be more fortunate than them they can kiss my .

Anyway back to Charlie, she has been drinking and smoking. Remember she's still a teenager, still not legal. The big problem is that it's not the first time she has smoked.... she did last year too. I try to help her but she wont listen to me... I cried on the phone with her because I worry for her health... it's obviously not good for her young age. I don't know what to do... I can't ask for help because most of teens in our school smoke and it's pretty 'normal'. If you're not European but you've visited Europe you will see how many more smokers there are here than other places. 

I really need advice from strangers on what to do. Should I let her be? Should I tell someone? Ahh I really don't know.. I'm suffering because of this .... yet I love her so much.

Thanks for reading <3

PS: if you have any funny or cute videos please tell me so I can try to feel better :)

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sleepingprince #1
I think your friend need to realized her self worth. She need to feel valued and need to have life goal and dreams. It seems that maybe she have given up on herself by self destructing ... I think she would need help as in counselling and all.. As a friend you can only advised her and teach her the good things but in the end still its her own will and power to be better person. I hope that she will not hurt herself
tourmaline #2

i'd say that right now, let her cope on her own but make sure she stays safe (especially since you said she's mingling with the wrong crowd). i feel like right now, she's a teen and she's going to need support. maybe if there's a time when she's more willing to listen you could really make sure that she knows of the consequences (since yeah people know that smoking is bad but a lot of people don't truly internalize how bad it could be for their health until it happens to them) and help her try to quit? idk i think the right now the greatest priority right now is keeping her safe. i live in america and god knows how many teen pregnancies there are at my school because people always think that they're the exception until it's them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hh9lWK-iwc <-- maybe this could help cheer you up? XD
MissMinew #3
I would say, you let her smoke BUT you keep an eye on her. I don't necessarily think the smoking is the wrong thing, but rather the troubles she might be getting into. So while yes, smoking is bad for her, if it's a coping technique, let it be. To be honest, I'm sure she knows how bad it is for her - it's almost impossible not to know what smoking does.
Be supportive of her and what's she going through, keep a watchful eye on behavior that might get her in trouble and let the smoking be.
Alcohol is ... I'd say, not a problem but I'm Danish so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But yeah, be watchful of her and supportive of her when she needs you, have girls night outs just the two of you with less "dangerous" activities and try to be her friend, not her "mother", when it comes to her smoking.
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