It's been awhile since I write anything. Doesn't mean I don't have anything mind, but there's just too many things that even, I, can't pin-point it out. It's a torturous act, indeed.

Just like denying water for the fish. And that's how I had been. My voice was denied. My hope was denied. My dream is on it's way to shatter apart.

Turning a year older doesn't change anything for me. I still can't learn how to voice what I want properly. Why am I borned as a good kid? Why I can't deny what the teachers, parents, elderly etc wanted me to do? 

I'm sick of belivieng in quotes. Am tired of all the inspirational sayings of great people. Because that's them! It's their life, their story. I'm in my own story. I have my own road ahead and I can decide how to walk it down on my own.

Sadly, no. I can't. 

Why? Because am weak. I can't deny what others wanted me to do. I can't rebel because am just a pure coward. I can't be who I want to be, because... I decided to cage myself. 

I'm the one who killing me. They say I have potential, but I don't see any. They say I can do it, but I don't think so. They say I'm brave and strong, but they never see me breaks down. They say I can change it all, but I don't want it all. 

"It'll be beneficial later on."

"It's easy. You'll regret it if you change."

"Stop lowering your self-esteem. We choose you, because we can see your potential!" 

you people! Is it YOU guys who would lead our life later on? Is it YOU guys that would give us job? What are YOU guys? Psychic much? Yes, YOU GUYS see our potential and make us work our off just to grad! 

YOU GUYS TOOK AWAY OUR YOUTH JUST BECAUSE OF THAT OH-SO-CALLED-POTENTIAL-IN US IN HOPE WE WOULD BECOME A DOCTOR, PILOT, ENGINEER AND OTHER MOTHER INGLY FAMOUS JOB BECAUSE YOU GUYS SAYS SO!

I don't in care if any of you guys found this. I'm glad, indeed. I don't have to voice it out. But I can assure you one thing.

I Will ing Follow The Lane You Assist Me, But I Won't Promise 'Ya If At The End Of The Day, My Sanity Is Still There. And I Don't Promise If There Would be Any Grudge Attached.

AND I DON'T PROMISE IF I CAN HOLD MY BACK FROM BLAMING IT ON YOU PEOPLE! OFF ES!