So.. this happened

I’ve been away from the sparkling kpop world for something like 9 months. And much more from aff.
It all started due to school stuff since it was my last high school year so I had to study for my diploma.

After that I felt like I was fading away.. thanks to a scholarship I spent 3 months in Ireland after high school graduation. I’ve met a lot of different people while working in an event office but still I grew apart from the kpop world.

It may seem senseless for you but one of my favourite group lost another member earlier this year and seeing him like the others who left keep going with his happy life leaving his ex mates alone felt wrong. So wrong that I started hating their music on to the point I wasn’t able to listen to it on my phone.

I felt empty inside… it’s hard to explain to be honest. I’ve always identified myself in their songs as if their text and music spoke to my soul.

But I no longer recognized myself.

After graduation and after my 3 months long internship I was and I am lost. I had to take a sabbatical year from school cause I came back a month after the start of university.

Growing up? It scares me to hell but somehow everyone has to, right? And maybe my “change of music” with more mature and deep artists was what I needed.

Still music is amazing. During my hiatus one of the groups I was waiting for made his official debut while my old loved ones came back with amazing and meaningful songs. And thanks to four tall aussies I was able to survive.
Now I’m still kinda lost, the future scares me a lot and I still don’t know what to do with my life but I feel less wronged. I’ve learned much more from songs and music than from school.

I want to catch up expect finally some updates and I’m sure future will be somehow brighter if I’ll have the guts to accept growing up.

And music will be there.

I know this post is probably silly and confusional af but I just wanted to speak my mind to be able to move on. Maybe my dreams won’t come true but I’ll be able to find others.

So yeah this is it. I hope you will cope with me during my rehab ^^

xx Aηgiε

[originally posted here]

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