[TIPS] 5 Mistakes You Should Avoid When Writing | Amateur Level Writer

As someone who is incredibly picky when it comes to what I read, and also as someone who is rather well-versed in grammar and proper formatting, I find that while fanfic writers are passionate and creative, a lot of them are, to put it bluntly, amateur writers. Don't misunderstand, there isn't anything wrong with that, everyone has to have a beginning and beginnings are oftentimes awkward and a little sloppy. However, I would like to start a short blog series for writers on AFF, mostly aimed at those who have little to no education or training in the fields of literature and want to be able to express themselves more adequately, thus writing more successful stories. 

1. Incorrect Understanding of Dialogue in Paragraphs
Now this is one that I mostly see a lot of young, middle school writers do. However, since many fanfiction writers begin during their middle school years, we can address this. 

For those of you that don't know, what I'm mostly referring to is this: 

Jane looked at Joe sympathetically. "Where will you go?" she asked. He looked down, jaw set tight with emotion and fists curling at his sides. "Probably somewhere far, far away," he answered, voice barely audible. She felt as though her heart had cracked into pieces, lungs withering away. "Please, you can't!" He didn't turn back to face her. "I have to."

*Never put two different character dialogues in the same paragraph. 

Not only is this just plain confusing for your audience, as they have to try and remember if the dialogue is still coming from the first character or the character before, but it's also very incorrect. Always, always, always start another paragraph when a new character is speaking.

This is how the above text should have been written:

     Jane looked at Joe sympathetically. "Where will you go?" she asked. 
     He looked down, jaw set tight with emotion and fists curling at his sides. "Probably somewhere far, far away," he answered, voice barely audible.
     She felt as though her heart had cracked into pieces, lungs withering away. "Please, you can't!"
     He didn't turn back to face her. "I have to."

 2. Too much dialogue, not enough description.
This one I have seen quite frequently around AFF, actually. Dialogue is a great tool and is often where character personalities can really shine, but if you don't couple it with enough narrative description, the dialogue falls flat; it becomes weak and leaves the reader with a jarring feeling as if they're floating out in space with no idea which way is up or down, left or right.

Example:

     "This is my favorite flavour, did I ever tell you?" he said.
     "I think so," she replied, "but my memory is still a little fuzzy."
     "Yeah?"
     "Yeah..." she nodded.
     "It'll be okay, I promise. Let's just get through today, alright?"
     "Alright," she nodded again.
     They left the ice cream shop as the sun set, both hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

The dialogue is doing great, but as a reader I actually have no real idea what's going on. What's the weather like? Are they smiling, laughing? Is it awkward? How is their body language? What kind of tone is in their voices? I'm mostly left with a bunch of words in my head but no pictures to go with it. 

*Don't rely on dialogue to tell your story. Body language, emotion, and setting is just as important, if not moreso, than dialogue.

This is a much more complete piece when the following revisions are made to the above text:

     "This is my favorite flavour, did I ever tell you?" he said, waving the mint-chocolate-chip cone towards her wrecklessly as though he were handing out orders.
     "I think so," she replied, the contended smile on her face fading quickly as her brows furrowed together in thought, "but my memory is still a little fuzzy."
     He stopped almost suddenly, lost for words. "Yeah?"
     "Yeah..." she nodded.
     A silence fell between them as the late Summer breeze tangled in their hair, neither able to find their voices.

    He wished he could fix everything. He would even sell his soul if it meant she could get her memory back, have a normal life again. The only thing he could offer her at this point was promises he had no idea whether he could keep or not. "It'll be okay, I promise. Let's just get through today, alright?" He smiled softly at her, voice soothing as though he were trying to coo her to sleep.
     
"Alright," she nodded again, pulling her hair behind her ear with an awkward smile.
     
They left the ice cream shop together as the sun set just above the ocean horizon, both hoping for a brighter tomorrow. A tomorrow with answers and happy memories. 

3. Incorrect uses of the there's, yours, and to's.
This one is common even in writers who have been doing this for years. It's better to crack down on it as soon as possible to get the true uses of these words etched into your mind. Simply read below to learn the proper usage of each one.

There, Their, and They're

There - this is a location noun. 
    
examples:
          "Hey,  let's go over there!"
            "What do you think is over there?"
Their - this is a plural possessive noun.
     
examples:
            
"Hey, let's go over to their house!"
            "Do you think their dog is cute?"
They're - this is a contraction of "they" and "are," in short, meaning: "they are."
     
examples:
            
"Do you think they're going to the party?"
            "They're really annoying."

 Your and You're

Your - this is a possessive noun.
     examples:
            
"Your house is so lovely!"
            "I'm sorry about what happened to your art project."
You're - this is a contraction of "you" and "are," in short, meaning: "you are."
     
examples:
            
"You're welcome!"
            "You're such a good writer!"

To, Too, and Two

To - this "to" descibes a motion or identifies something as being affected.
     examples:
            
"Let's go to the store."
            "We went from China to America on an airplane."
Too - descibes having an abundance of something or to concur. 
     examples: 
            "Me too!"
            "There was too much salt."
*It always helps me to think "there are too many o's" when trying to decipher which to is the correct "to" in a specific situation. This can also help when trying to tell the difference between "desert" and "dessert" (dessert is the food. You write it with 2 s's because you always go back for seconds).
Two - this is the written form of the number 2.
  
  examples:
            
"He bought two ice cream cones."
            "There were two gorillas at the zoo."

4. Random Self-Insertion
I have a feeling a few of you have either seen this happen quite often or are guilty of it yourself. It often comes with really wanting to engage your readers and leave comments on your own stories (and I see this on quiz websites, as well), however it just takes away from your story completely. By doing this, you pull your readers out of the world suddenly, and you make them realize that they're reading a story rather than being immersed in a whole new world. 

Here's an example of this: 

      Chanyeol came running down the steps so quickly that he lost his bearings and fell down the last few. (You know he would totally do that kkkkkkk XDDDD) Lucky for him, he had quick enough reflexes that he caught himself before he face planted directly into the floor. (Probably got those cat-like reflexes from kitty-Chen, amirite? LOL)
     Sarang was surprised when he burst into the kitchen, this time unable to keep himself standing as his socks left him without traction. He fell directly on his face, and Sarang being the nurturing person she was, went running to his side as quickly as she could. (Keep your hands off my man, !!! jk jk kkkkkkk XDDD) 

The random insertion of comments made by the author only distracts from the story, even if it's written well. If you have something you want to say to your audience about the story, save it for an Author's Note section to be left at the bottom of the chapter where it can sit on its own. 

5. Random insertion of Romanized Korean
This is one of the biggest no-no's and I cannot express that enough. Not only does it show that you may be izing an entire culture, which is a faset of racism, but it's entirely grammatically incorrect and totally pulls away from your story and only gives it a sense of chaos rather than a sense of cohesiveness. You're telling a story in English, so keep it in English. 
The only time you should be using a Korean word is if it's: 

  • A name of a person, place, or thing (that doesn't have an English translation)
  • The usage of a word that has absolutely no equal English translation
    (This does not include words such as Unni, Noona, Oppa, or Hyung)

You may be thinking: "But Lully! I'm writing about Koreans that live in Korea! Doesn't it make sense if I use some Korean in my fanfiction?" The answer is still: absolutely not.  Unless you're fluent enough that you can write about two characters having full conversation like this (please note that I'm still beginning level so those of you who do speak Korean very fluently will know that this is the most basic usage of the language to prove a point): 

    Key turned his attention to Taemin. "종현이형 어디 갔어?" 
    Taemin shrugged his shoulders, looking towards the city lights. "몰라요... 아마 그 곳에 갔어요..." Lydia wished she would have paid more attention in Korean class back in college. Maybe then she wouldn't have to sit around and wait for Key to explain. 
    They continued speaking in Korean for a while before Key finally turned to her. "Taemin said he might be at this one place in Busan. It's really... not so good, though. You can stay here, Taemin and I will go—"
     "No," Lydia interrupted, "I'm going to go find him with you guys!" 

 

This is one of the very few instances where having words in a different language actually makes any sense. Again, I cannot express how bad it is to randomly insert words like: hyung, saranghae, noona, oppa, eomma, jinjja, etc etc into your writing when you're writing an English language fanfiction. It's so incredibly cringe-worthy to see butchered, broken Korean in a story that's being used more as a prop than as a place-setter, which is what randomly inserting Korean into your writing does. Why would you write your character saying: "Saranghae" when there is an exact English translation of this word? There is no reason why you would do it other than to use it as a prop to prove how much you know about Korean culture, when the truth of the matter is that you obviously don't. 

This piece of advice goes for all languages. Do not randomly insert words from other languages into your writing unless there is a very real reason it is being put in the story that will add to it rather than serve only as a prop. 

 

This concludes my first post in a short series I would love to continue! Please comment if anything here has been helpful to you and if you would like some insight on anything else in the future! Thank you so much for your time, and happy writing!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
lastwriterstanding #1
Oh this is nice!

Another tip for the language point is to not use Korean characters at all. If you have a character that can't speak Korean, it's both more concise and more immersive to just have (for example): "Key turns to Taemin and says a few words that Lydia can't understand. Her eyes flit to look out the windows as Taemin replies, but her attention is drawn back to the conversation when Key turns to her and translates..." If your character can speak Korean, and you're trying to convey the use of another language (that the aforementioned character can also understand), use English, but in italics.
CinderellaNWendy
#2
Thank you very much for this blog. I've learn a lot from here.
I hope you will come out with something like this again.
9394DOKAI
#3
thx for the great tips here...it's really helpful for me...
hope i'll stop making those mistakes again...

so grateful for this....tqvm ^^
MissMinew
#4
These are great. I mean, I'm am aware of all 5 of them but they're common so it's great you're addressing them. ^^
I used to make the first one when I wrote in Danish because it was simply odd to make a new paragraph. Now that I write in English it's become a habit with the paragraphs.
Not saying I'm an angel, I still sneak in a hyung rarely where I find it appropriate and where it gives something to the story, but overuse of the Korean language is weird.
ficsystem #5
This is so helpful. You're right. I can't fathom the writer's comments in the middle of the story.
deerlulu0420
#6
This was helpful! Tbh, I'm not sure why these mistakes are so common. I've known most grammar rules since third grade simply by reading, and I just don't get it.
Another common mistake:
"I'm fine." He said.
It should be:
"I'm fine," he said.
I'm not sure why this is the popular way of punctuating dialogue these days, but literally all published authors use the second method.