So i'm not as close to my real life friends as I'd like to be. I have 2 groups of friends and subgroups and sometimes these two groups merge together and we all hang out. So just because it's easier i'm going to call it the aussie group and asian group just because it's easier to refer to them that way not that they're purely made up of aussies or asians.

So I'm much more closer with my asian group because I went through high school with them which I pretty much did with my aussie friends but I didn't really get close with them until last year when my asian friends basically ditched me. The problem is standards. So when we began high school me and my asian friends were all in the same subjects because we didn't really get to pick. They had standards and my goal was to be the best I could be. I was fine with my C grade and they were not happy unless they got As. I was more carefree about my school work than they were so I feel that they got closer while I was kind of an outsider. During events like maths competitions and science challenges they would all attend and I wouldn't. Then there were lunch time activities in which they would join different clubs and I wouldn't so this is where we began to distance myself from them as they became closer to each other.

I began to hang out with my aussie friends because there was nobody else to sit with at lunch time while my asian friends had their lunch time activities. Also a girl in my aussie friendship group was in literally all the same classes so we started to get close and all. It started as a sometimes thing when I had nobody left but then my position within that group became more stable as I hung out with them regularly.

The whole standard thing didn't really bother me until that one time I did get an A for my English assignment in which one of them asked to have a look at my story and I was like sure. It began to bother me because she had never cared about my work or anything until that time I got an A. I wondered why did she bother now? I never got an A after that and it returned to how it normally was.

At our final year of high school, I barely saw my friends because they came to school late and we had absolutely no classes together. They always hung out and had their study sessions together and stuff. This is where I started to feel like I was less than them. I was starting to excell in the subjects that I was doing. I was getting As and Bs, no longer Cs but it felt like I had accomplished nothing because they were the 'easy' subjects, which may have been true but not entirely. I didn't choose these subjects because they were easy. I did these subjects because I was interested in these subjects. These subjects did not have any tests and exams. When exam weeks came up they would always shut me down and tell me to be happy I don't have exams. They even notice it themselves when another one of my friends from my asian group always asks to borrow my laptop charger. She doesn't talk to me. We've never had a one on one conversation since we were only friends because of our group. She knows she doesn't talk to me unless it's because she wants something from me. The last time she asked for it she told me never mind because she feels bad.

As I got closer with my aussie group of friends, we began to hang out outside of school. And what makes me mad was that they could get jealous that I was invited to their birthdays and they weren't. When we hung out at somebody's place we could have no more than 10 people and when they were not invited they got jealous. The reason why that makes me mad is because when it was one of my friends from my asian group's birthday they all took the morning off to go eat pancakes. They invited some from aussie group but they declined and didn't even mention that to me. They all did things and hung out without me but as soon as I start hanging out with others they get jealous? UGH.

Yeah, I just needed to get that out because I'm so done with them. BYE.