It's the rush of insecurities you hid so well all coming back to smother you at once, paired with a hollow feeling in your cheat and the feeling that you deserve it and will never experience anything like that relationship again. =/ Hope you get through it with lots of support.

i literally feel pain. an empty pain that's so heavy i feel like i'm carry something on my back.

Okay this may be long. I haven't experienced heartbreak like as a relationship dating break up. But It's kind of like being dropped after so much has happened and good memories. I experienced this whole summer thing where my guy best friend liked me but he was dating someone else for at least a year when he liked me. Then I think of all the times he kind of used me as an excuse to rest on my shoulder as a way to get skinship. It's kind of like wow interior motives what did everything mean kind of stuff it got me on mixed feels. There was am I a bad person for rejecting. Will he be okay but then he fked me over and ignores me now and went all anti social like is that my fault or what but now I don't care cause he's just guilt tripping me so. I resolved it but not doing anything. I'm waiting for him to tell me stuff because I told him I didn't know him anymore and he says I don't understand what you're trying to say. Are you dense af???? Like AGH. I feel like it was kind of a mental breakdown not really heart break but the friendship is not steady right now it just went awol