Hello :D We don't talk much but here's something sweet that I think is nice, which I just watched a while ago

https://www.facebook.com/IwakeupwithTODAY/videos/1030273113674020/

Also, I've been at a camp volunteering as a teacher assistant and the kids are just adorable <3 There are very rebellious, and annoying ones (I'm sorry, but my irritation has a limit ;-;) but there are ones who looked like they just woke up from noontime naps and are just adorbsss <3 *squeals* LOL (I have a terrible fondness for small kids/children xP

As for your emotional situation xO hope it gets better somehow~~ HWAIITNG~~

I recently bought my first smartphone, and a long time fren who I have not spoken with for years msg me in viber and then called me, it was nice hear her voice,

-A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "My," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
-The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"


**DIRTY JOKES ALERT**
-Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For a minor.
-Why did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
Because he forgot to wrap his whopper.
-Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
-How is life like a ?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
-How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
-Does your dad work at Skippy?
Because you've got some nice nuts!
-I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together
-Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
-Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
-Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
-I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely .
-My friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't... I think you're absolutely gorgeous!
-Does your father sell diamonds? Because you are FLAWLESS!



LOL. Enjoy :)

This. This made my day.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/3b5109e99b87375ef7d4af218d77f0d8/tumblr_n8z2eawMOF1qdfrxjo3_400.gif

If two vegans argue, is it still considered beef?

Did you know that type-O blood was actually originally type-0 because of zero haemoglobin markers within it? I guess it was a typo.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? ...Hot as f-

My brother's been going to weekly Super Smash Bros. tournaments. He's been having a smashing time.

Why do people keep asking what I'm going to be doing in five years? It's not like I've got 2020 vision.

If your phone autocorrects "" to "duck," it's okay to keep it. It's still fowl language.

what do sprinters eat before a race?
nothing, they fast.

what sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
cashew!

how many lives does a nazi cat have?
nien.

voldemort: knock knock.
harry potter: who's there?
voldemort: you know.
harry potter: you know who?
voldemort: exactly!

True story:
I once left my phone at my job and it was there over the weekend so I got it back and saw my sister had texted me. I texted back to her. "Sorry I couldn't answer your text sooner. I left my phone at work on Friday" her reply. "Did you get it back yet?"
I went outside, took a walk, did some deep thinking, spoke with my dad, my mom, slept on it a bit, and then replied
"I just want you to know that no matter how dumb you really are, I will always love you." LOL

deez nuts.

-Do you sit on sugar?

because you have a sweet

-Is your dad a baker?

because you have nice buns

-I don't have my library card but can I check you out?
-Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty *wink wink*
-If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you.
-If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
-My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

You're welcome. I promise if you use these, you'll get all the guys.. I speak from experience XD

What's the difference between a snow man and snow woman?
Snowballs! XD

Are you sitting on the f5 button?
Because you're is refreshing! XD

Hope that helped a little bit! :)

My friend and I went swimming yesterday, and while he sat on the edge of the diving board, his shorts go caught on a screw(?) thingy without him knowing. Needless to say, when he got up to jump in the water, his shorts did not come with him.

Let me tell you my favorite joke.

What did the apple say to the orange?





Nothing! Apples don't talk.

Hope that at least made you smile. :D

http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/1043037

If you didn't read it already, I can entertain you elwith a story from my teenhood XD

Mememememe